It is a .. strange, strange time for me.

I have been buying things that have all been planned and agreed upon with several people .. official people .. so to speak.

Only .. right in the middle of all this and with an extremely large upheaval of my personal life mere weeks away and a trip away for a time being only days away .. something has changed.

Someone .. or I should say one of the agreed parties has thrown a spanner in the works!

This is an organisation that anyone with a brain dies not trust and they have .. changed their stance somewhat and this will be .. eye opening to many. I cannot say much more about it right now because even this is in flux.

Now I will tell you this ..

In the space of thirty minutes I had two separate people speak to me. One was face to face and the other was over the phone. Yup .. within ten minutes or so of speaking to one person a different one calls me on the phone.

I will also tell you this ..

The one that I spoke to face to face lied to me.

The one that I spoke to on the phone also lied to me.

I am also going to be self-employed from the 1st September and that is only a few weeks away.

I also have to go away and that is mere days away.

I have a mountain of things to buy and a mountain of things to do.

Now this would otherwise be a nightmare because of the health conditions I have but as far as the pain is concerned this has gotten a lot easier.

As far as the getting too hot is concerned this has gotten a lot easier and it has cooled down at night due to it being late in the year so that has become easier.

This is because I have now owned a car for the last week or so.

Unfortunately it does not help with my memory problems. Nor any one of the other dozens of things it causes. Luckily most are not constant. Thank the stars for that.

Plus I am having some .. psychological issues over everything I have to do .. kind of a mental block combined with .. a little trepidation, or nervous. It does not make sense and I do not know why this is but then the brain is a much complex thing. Plus my Fibromyalgia seems to mess with it as it does so many others.

Yeah so what is going to make things worse for an organisation well reported to lie and cheat is thee fact that I suffer from a registered disability. On top of that is my right knee issue and along with the pain and memory issues there is also the high blood pressure issue.

I was not even sure I was OK to drive again but when I last asked my GP he said it was OK. But then as I know that the NHS have tried to lie on patients medical notes and certainly have mine so surely have others .. this answer might just be part of that?

This is something I did not consider in the past and every now and then I have wondered how many people have had car accident because of health conditions that the NHS have lied about? It must be a significant number and I dread to think it I could be really big.

Also a wrong readout on the car’s computer did not seem to be much initially but then I went and read something on a forum about one owner of my Land Rover having to change an engine because of ignoring this warning?! Did not make sense and no one backed it up because it is to do with the coolant level. I went and bought coolant because I naturally thought it was low due to the computer warning. Opened the bonnet and I was surprised to discover it was full. No problem then. Faulty sensor that can get fixed when I service the car next. Then I read this owner writing that he lost an engine because of it and I did think maybe it did get low and he did not watch the engines temperature gauge?

Then I read something in the same forum about some kind of ball being inside the top up bottle, tank, and someone said something about it sometimes blocking a pipe. That .. would bee problematic! But even so if a blockage occurred it would raise the engine temperature! It is an engine coolant system, nothing rocket sciencey about it. Water goes round, if it does not then things get hot. Lol.

Still .. as I have not driven for a very long time it did get me worried about both breaking down and buying a new engine!

I came into some money .. I did not win the jackpot n the lottery and the money is not endless. It would not buy me a house anywhere, nor a flat in case your wondering. Not even far, far away from London. Unfortunately. Or I would have done that!

Being homeless is my biggest fear and I have had this fear six or seven times in my life and people with Fibromyalgia feeling fear? Or at least some of them? It is not good and is most certainly not nice, trust me on that. Look up ‘Rubber Legs Syndrome’ and a detailed explanation on that and how it comes about will make many realise how effing horrid it is. That is just one .. thing out of dozens.

So I am awaiting emails to find out how much it would cost, how long it would take and if I can ge it done before I go away.

Since being asked to go to a certain building TWICE in a week .. I have had two days of deliveries turning up and have a third on Tuesday.

I am also out practising and familiarising myself with the tools I have had delivered, see below.

So this is what I have now acquired since the car was purchased ..

  • Sony A99 II DSLT Camera

  • Sony G Master 70-200mm f2.8 Lens

  • LowePro Toploader Holster

  • LowePro Whistler Backpack

  • Carbon Fibre Tripod (instead of the usual expensive ones I went for Amazon one at £75)

  • Benro GH2 Gimbal Head (Basically a swing like contraption goes on tripod)

That is not quite all and all I can think of right now.

That also only includes one, damned heavy, lens. You cannot do everything with one lens even if you specifically only photograph in one subject area. Most people have more than two lenses and professionals normally have dozens. Though dozens are not needed but at least five are .. though two of these are out of reach. At least for now and the immediate future because the combined total of just these two is £17,500! Yeah .. I know. Lol. Unfortunately there are cheaper alternatives but these have recently been discontinued and I only found out last night. You also cannot buy them in the UK, at least not for my cameras mount design. Though a very top store in New York was selling them, B&H Photo, but last night only had used ones and suddenly the discontinued notice was up I had never seen before. Bah humbug!

The combined cost of the two lenses new? Knock £10,000 off the combined total of the two Sony lenses above and you would get both! Those above are the Sony G Master 300mm f2.8 and the Sony G Master 500mm f4. The other company is Sigma, same focal lengths and apertures and looks like same objective lens size too. They look almost identical .. except the Sonys are white and the Sigmas are black.

I also had not considered all the other things too and I have had to buy two very large SanDisk memory cards as well as a lot of cleaning tools, like for sensor cleaning as well as lens cleaning. I would not want to buy anything cheap in the way of cleaning stuff with stuff this expensive. Even so I did not expect the little bottles holding 8ml of fluid to cost between £20 and £40 when you get cheap crap for a couple of quid on Amazon. Again .. you do not take the chances.

This also does not include the fact that I have to buy new computing gear too and I need to build a new PC and I will need a laptop.

This will need to be able to deal with photo editing on very large files, the cameras is 42 Mega Pixels, as well as 4K video. These things take as much power as you can throw at them, especially video editing and especially so in 4K resolutions.

I have not oredered a single thing yet for the PC build because .. well .. I also have to move house and this was also all part of the plan. A plan that I was completely open with to all people.

Except one organisation who had been nagging me for months have now gone and thrown this spanner in the works. Right in the middle of everything and they have lied twice already. In two ten minute conversations.

Everyone told me to lie to them, even a right wing guy that curiously does not agree with having a welfare system! I did not want to do that. Except .. well .. I would tell by the body language that they already knew anyway. Or at least it had been flagged.

I spoke to thee right wing guy saying that they had already been told, I had forgotten about them myself. This was because they already knew! He said, yawn .. once again second guessing wrongly but insisting upon his views, that I must hav told them or they found out from this blog. Umm .. I never said anything about receiving anything on my blog and .. well like I told him dozens of times, they already effing KNEW! I had been on a course to start my own business. REMEMBER! Lol.

Also if you recall I also applied for a loan with Newable through this NEA course thing which I was turned down for? Yeah that was for £25,000 that I intended to pay back within a month or two .. exccpt they turned me down and so starting my own business and gong self-employed got delayed once again.

The funny thing is I only started it because of two things .. one was they were unfairly pressurising me at the Job Centre under Job Seekers Allowance they WRONGLY forced me onto and I was not getting anywhere looking for a job 35 hours a week. Yeah .. do not lose your job because they insist that you carry on doing a full time job looking for another full time job. You have to put the things you have done on their website using an account. Nothing wrong with that, per se, but .. you have to put loads of things .. more than the number of jobs for what you want to do you can possibly find advertised. You better believe it.

No they do not want to HELP you get a job .. they just want to stand behind you with something that ends up feeling more or less like the proverbial whip! I kid you not.

I was on Universal Credit, again WRONGLY, for 5 weeks or so before being transferred over to JSA and within two weeks they were pressurising me about starting my own business. As soon as they realised just how many areas I am knowledgable in. Plus I would like to try my hand at some manufacturing too. More tools and these were included in my plans as a completely different facet to everything else.

  • Blogging on a dozen subjects (could add more)

  • Photography

  • YouTube

  • Manufacturing .. Cases

There might be others but the camera gear would help with most, if not all, the blogs and the YouTube channel.

Oh .. did I mention that I only received half the money I was supposed to because someone stole over £300,000 of the estate and that their siblings and mine want me to be the one to take them to court?

Remember that even without the pains and psychological stuff I do have those short term memory issues and as you can see I have a mountain of things that I have to do!

But the spanner throwers do not give a shit .. government basically and government doing as government does. Fucking people over. Jesus what a shit country this has become and it is getting worse. I am still receiving messages that the UK is going to collapse any day now. Still waiting. Lol.

However .. there is a very important question I have to ask if they decide to put any force on turning the spanner. They had better think about their answers very, very carefully. Because to different answers simply wont qualify. In act it will look so bad .. I would not want too be them!

Why do these public services lie and cheat? Do they not know they they always get found out in the end? Even if the government try and tie up the news media it often grows so huge that the news media cannot ignore it any longer. Because if they do it will look obvious .. though most people with even half a brain have long since realised that the mainstream media either lie or are ignoring stories at the request of certain .. parties.

Ooh .. I just remembered I am supposed to talk to an SEO company about my blogging?! Damn it!


Now what else could I have forgotten?!


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