Jesus Christ!

Here is something I thought I would never .. EVER witness in the UK.

There is an ITV News report linked below that states that schools have been washing children’s clothes and charging their mobile phones for them .. because despite handing out no money we are all expected to pull smart phones and laptops out of our arses!

But that was not the most shocking thing ..

.. that was a sharp rise in cases of children with Rickets?!


I have not heard of this condition mentioned since I was at school when one black school kid had it and it was explained to me that Afro-Caribbean people suffered from it due to the lack of sunlight, or its weakness in the UK. One case. Nearly 40 years ago. That was it!

But here I am watching a news piece by ITV about kids in Morecombe, of all places, having cases of Rickets rising up.

This is from malnutrition.

I simply do not believe it and .. well if they can continue on with this then there must be a fuck load of things the government are not telling us ..

.. while still tossing obscene amounts of our taxes around to other countries as if it was confetti?!

This was the second part of a two part piece and it involves two schools in Lancashire according to their website?



Well this is a funny one .. local one too.

Well .. local to where I now live.

There is an old market square in Birkenhead’s Town Centre which is a shadow of its former self. I used to come here over twenty years ago on a fairly regular basis for around three and a half years.

Came up here twenty years ago and it had changed and not in a good way .. those locals I had known from here even admitted that to me.

Another ten years and it is worse still. The stories I am hearing beg belief, the things linked to me or that I am tagged in beg belief also.

That market is more or less empty, especially the interior section of the market.

Just a few days ago we walked past several stalls and all seemed fine .. the stalls there looked no different to those I had seen years earlier.

However I had heard there were plans to do something with the site, or I assumed they were speaking of that whole shopping precinct. I asked how in the world they were going to do that with the financial climate the way that it was. They said they wondered he same thing.

Then tonight I get tagged in a story on Facebook on the Wirral Echo page and it seems there has been a raid. Claims of counterfeit goods of the Premier League and Disney stuff from a stall and closed it down. Yet the stall has been there for “years and bloody years” as one put it to me.

So why the sudden noticing now of a stall selling counterfeit stuff, though I think ‘counterfeit’ might be stretching it a bit in this instance. ‘Counterfeit’ implies exact copies of things, not the bad use of characters and logos.

Of course I read the line I have heard over and over again for many bloody years in situations like this ..

The supply of counterfeit goods can also be linked to serious, organised crime and the funding of illegal operations. This is not a victimless crime.

Yeah .. because all the actors for Disney and Premier League footballers and the club owners are having to beg in the streets and sleep on park benches.

Some guy printing t-shorts and pictures in his shed somewhere a few miles away is connected to serious organised crime.

Fuck me .. it does not say a lot about the Police now does it. How many times have they been called incompetent by various local councils right around the UK? I mean .. sitting right there with thousands of people walking past this stall for fucking years .. a big crime syndicate right out i the open in broad daylight? Merseyside Police must be more thick than I gave them credit for?!

What people are already saying is that this is a land grab, pure and simple.

I can guarantee that over the next week I am going to hear a hell of a lot of conspiracy theories ..


OK this is a .. weird one.

I’ve been thinking about this all evening and .. well .. I’m not sure I’m going to finish this without looking up more links.

I watched a documentary on Netflix and I was taken aback at what I was seeing and hearing.

It sounded like something from a book about the Illuminati?!

Say whatever you want regarding theories on the Illuminati. I can’t say anything simply because I don’t know.

But the claims made over the years regarding their sordid escapades not only doesn’t seem that far fetched but stranger things have been uncovered.

In fact it might be fair to state that the strangest thing about the Illuminati is their name. Except any group of people that night exist .. well would come up for something very like it when calling themselves something.

Unfortunately any existence of any such group will not be made up of anyone good, that’s for sure. Because of there did exist anyone good within a secretive organisation, with that kind of money and influence .. a lot more of the criminals and sickos would have been caught a lot earlier.

Hmm maybe I should start a similar group? A group of do-gooders that only act to bring about justice?

I digress.

What I heard was that there may well be a cure for cancer?!

Like an episode of Family Guy there’s a claim that Cyanide from Apricot kernels fight cancer cells.

Now of note is that in the court argument by the large health organisations they claimed there was no evidence of cancer cells being reduced.

Well that turns out to be reported over and over again as not being true?!

I kid you not.

It is also reported that despite cyanide being a poison potentially fatal to humans and does kill cells across the spectrum .. it attacks cancer cells more than normal cells.

It’s a if this cyanide has a particular dislike to cancer cells? Which I am finding fascinating and in eager to find out if their exists further evidence to support this.

There’s certainly plenty of people and websites talking about it and incidents of people using the kernels on themselves too!

I’ve even read that there is evidence that Apricot kernels have been used for hundreds as well as thousands of years?

Bizarre! Simply bizarre. If true.

If true also potentially very damaging and will certainly do a lot in the long run.

Also those without £20,000 per year to layout for Herceptin are obviously going to give this a go. I know I would were my circumstances different.

Now a break before I look up more on my laptop tomorrow..

.. and then there is another site, based in Canada, debunking it.

I think what we have here is a lot of suspicions based on the way the big drug companies act, how much money they make and a lot of government and drug company conspiracy theories you here about .. kind of meeting in the middles and muddying the waters.

That is where it gets difficult.

Even a scene from Family Guy jokes about Carter Pewderschmidt hiding a cure for cancer from the world so that the drug companies keep making billions.

This is one of the major problems of the western world slowly bought on by the mainstream media and their business experts in particular. It long ago become offensive to hear about the many billions each company makes. It almost seems like an endless list of them.

Yet so many people are in financial difficulties and this number has been growing for years now and I have no idea when it will end. Very likely, never.

The part that needs to be determined in all this is does cyanide have more of an effect on cancer sells that normal healthy cells and can this be capitalised on?

Though I also that too many nut-jobs think anything to do with nature is safe and look at nature through rose-tinted spectacles. I have stated it over and over again .. yes .. it may look beautiful and natural to us but nature is a war zone no matter where you are. In some places this is very obvious but in others are not.

Take a walk in the Serengeti and it would soon become obvious that nature is a dangerous pace for us because of Lions, African Hunting Dogs, Hyenas, Hippos and Crocodiles. Because they are big and they are all capable of killing and/or eating us.

Take a stroll in a forest in England and there is little danger and so seems serene and peaceful as you listen to the birds singing. What people fail to realise is that they are predators that would home in on the bird-song and kill and eat the birds. Like Sparrowhawks. But they do not attack us so it is all peaceful and serene. If all Sparrowhawks spawned into Pteradactyls overnight that walk in the forest would become very different.

Even the plants are battling each other for space, light and nutrients.

And the page suggesting the debunking .. the Montreal Gazette ..


Well I have to say .. yet again ..

They are always managing to surprise me, every single last one of them. All the public services leaving aside the Ambulance Service and the Fire Service.

This time it is once again the NHS .. but this time it has something of a little twist to it.

Another NHS Trust only ..

This one is the King’s College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust?!

Saaaay whaaaat?!

OK .. that one is a shocker!

Well the only thing that could have surprised me as much as that is .. Guy’s Hospital or St Thomas’ Hospital being involved. A hospital, the former not the latter, that I was involved with and had a letter from the omitted a lot of things that were said and done at the actual hospital appointment.

But . this was not the first time. Nor the second, third, fourth of fifth.

At this rate we are going to have veritable mountains of corpses of public services gone rotten, corrupt or just plain failing dying a slow death or dead already.

I could never say I was surprised at this as I first suspected it over then years ago. I then spent several years realising it was pretty much everywhere. My own research was over 6 GP Surgeries and the same amount of hospitals with the same result 100% of the time. Even though it was unlikely to remain at 100% of a countrywide investigation was done it would not drop by a great deal, that I would bet on.

But even of this was to drop to 50% the reality would be one that we would spend decades trying to live down. Or at least the politicians and their puppeteers would with the latter wondering just how many people were no investigating to try and find out who they are and expose them.

All the time only giving a crap about themselves and not a jot to what they have done to Great Britain and a large portion of it’s people, that who for me .. are what makes Great Britain, Great Britain.

Except the previously halo has no slipped down to a point where it physically rests on one shoulder and is in danger of falling off altogether!

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Major NHS trust put in special measures –


Yeah ..

There are times when it is not easy being here.

Others think they have the whole system worked out and want you to help in ways that .. you simply do not want to.

I just failed in doing that and this could have led to a disciplinary for job that has not even started yet.

This is a job I m not sure that is going to work anyway as according to what I have read you can only keep a piss-poor amount of money and yet it is being targetted because of a new house which is going to need carpeting for a start.

The due to the children involved it is going to need all manner of other things besieged and I even I can draw up a pretty decent list. Just from the little time I have spent here.

Oddly this attitude has changed from the one that thought that the authorities had made so many mistakes and that so many failed to turn up qt meetings that as an apology and to make up for their long list of consistent failures .. that this would all be provided for them, which in m mind they should be doing anyway. They, at least, used to! Even with just your average children they used to provide everything a mother needed.

So it is a little hard trying to keep track of everything.

I had been placed on the spot .. twice and I received a phone-call regarding me being put forward as a reference. But being placed on the spot I quickly answered accordingly. This was a professional reference and .. I this instance there was a conflict of interest which I was not even aware could be the case with a professional reference. Oh well .. you learn something new all the time.

The thing is I think I was expected to .. fib?

This is not nor never has been my policy and if I had it could have created complications for me, my endeavours, getting what I am owed, getting any compensation that may or may not be due and .. a certain Work & Pensions Select Committee?

For a job that is probably not needed, only out of desperation without checking the facts, tht I m not sure can be preformed at any rate.

To be fair .. the person in question was quickly asked on the spot .. and even asked if she could come back the same day .. like within the hour to do some training. At the same time they was asked for a professional reference and what with my degree and turning down a Doctorate at Middlesex University they just instinctively said my name.

Well that was that. Luckily I hve since had another conversation and it has not caused any tricky situations but .. I just do not lie and I thought this, at least, was understood. So even without my memory problems I m not used to coming up with some cock and bull story t the drop of the proverbial hat.

Wold not look good for me with my own endeavours or in the event that results from three certain tests mean I will have to .. do something I am not even sure I can do. Especially here. I do not know the area, the authorities any of the help and support available.

It is a terrifying prospect and that is provided that the .. ultimate consequence arrives and I manage to live through it. I honestly cannot see how I can and I have been through two that were heart-breaking.

Anyway .. that was that.

My other concern is that of the Work & Pensions Select Committee. Or more rather my report that I submitted. It is .. lot to report. It can be .. overwhelming but it is always vital to me that you include all information whether it is vital or not. Because I cannot decide if it is vital or not.

I worked in the legal industry and those I helped were friends for a long time beforehand and afterwards too.

So .. I know only too well that sometimes things that you think would be important re not and things that you think are not turn out to be important.

I have h to explain this to so many people over the years it simply not true. During long phone conversations lasting up to five hours I would be told that someone appealing state something in court and I would have to say “I know it sounds wrong and I agree that it is .. but they wont be interested in that or other things”. It is about the rights and wrongs, the facts and the lies.

However .. this is different. It is a process of telling horror stories regarding what the DWP have been up to and contradicting their base argument for their actions.

There is no one better than me for that .. very literally .. because ..

  • I did the NEA course and because I invested £20,000 of my own money .. before being stabbed in the back .. showing that I was serious and that they told lies

  • This wasted thousands more than I planned

  • That I was awarded disability money TWICE, so had cause and reason to receive it but ..

  • That I had disability stopped twice ..

  • That I then moved 250 miles because I knew that the DWP along with a Local Council and the Police would let down my daughter .. victim of domestic violence and that ..

  • Two grandchildren were reported to have Autism and I knew that the public services would let them down too .. and ..

  • Tht my daughter showed signs of having my disability that I now discover is behind my new heart and chest symptoms as well as damaging my eyes and .. linked to cancer ..

  • Which I found out because they a lump in my daughter’s body, one being suspicious and needed a biopsy ..

  • The found a second lump and then a third in three separate areas of her body

That is the extremely short version where the report I submitted goes into detail about what I was and was not told by the NHS, that the Probate Court did not investigate £35,000 of inheritance stolen from each of nine family members, no will.

The victimisation of me and my family looks fucking bad just looking at the last 10 month alone.

What the report contains is details of this going back for no less then fifteen years in some cases and twenty years in others.

That I have had several lines said to me that describes it all ..

  • Person One: “Why does this keep happening to us?!”

  • Person Two: “Nothing good ever happens to our family!”

But if there is one thing I am it is ..


Or t least I have the extreme potential to be disruptive and that .. tends to scare people.

But if this so-called parliamentary committee is entirely genuine at fixing what is right with this country and want to first identify the corruption, tricks and lies to the British public that have been ongoing for so long then ..

.. they would do well to heed my words.

Because all we have had up to now is my methods copied, lots of people having the finger pointed at them. Them in turn pointing the fingers at others. Public services being listed as ‘inadequate’ by various bodies while things continue on the exact same.

The one part in all this I find the most infuriating is that fact that all this has done nothing at all to the country’s position, debt wise. Nothing.

The one thing that they do and have been claiming for a fair old while now is numbers of which absolutely no one, investigative journalists not excluded, has looked into in any great detail.

Jobless numbers have been going down but failing too mention the tens of thousands that have died by their actions alone.

Oh and of course there are the disabled people that, when last I looked, well over 120,000 people had died as a direct result of their actions that almost included me in that list.

I have all the links to all the necessary websites, documents, audio recordings, videos and blogs.

I have all the predictions that eventually turned out to be true.

I predicted the financial collapse long before it was even being whispered about.

A document by document, blow by blow, day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year account of all the highly suspect failings of absolutely everyone involved and then some.

Good God. The very thought that this all now might soon be over is kind of .. head spinning.

While at the very same time I cannot help thinking that this will just turn out to be another dead-end road?!


I do not nor never will understand how areas of the human body can cause so much stress and pain and yet still be alive?!

I also don’t understand quite how in this modern age we still don’t have the drugs to deal with it properly. Well .. prescription drugs that is.

I awoke this morning after something of a night of.. forget that happens once a week. Friends around and a few drinks.

Had to go out and get a couple of things with one of them last night but .. flutter-flutter-flutter my heart was playing up a little.

Had to go out a second time, oh .. my .. God, this went wrong and more of a boom-boom-boom.

Now I a only mention a symptom now and then for a reason or if I think I’ve made a connection ..

This morning and against all common sense I awoke to very intense anxiety. I asked myself why in the world this could be? In my groggy state I even wondered if it was something else but felt like anxiety?

I had it yesterday morning but not as intense.

But I did push things a little last night .. oh crap, afternoon too when I was getting stuck into some house work to help out.

I just sometimes and myself why I’m getting this because the we nothing really to set it off, unless I have dreams that set it off but never recall the dreams?

Well I had that email from the Work & Pension Committee.

They wanted to use the cut down first I sent them.

But despite it being damning it was only two pages and not damning enough for my liking. So I sent an initial response stating that I would submit a full report, broken down into sections.

After all I only mentioned the current situation.

What I didn’t include was a full breakdown for PIP as well as ESA along with Universal Credit which are the three they mentioned in their response.

Red rag to a bull, anyone?!


A two page report they reacted to and apologizing upon hearing or situation and then stating what they did? ESA, PIP as well as UC?! JESUS, Christmas had come early, surely?!

Now think about a report containing no less than six pages and me pointing out that even this is not complete?

Yeah well that’s what they now have, after many hours, broken up here and there, some copy and pasting and six whole pages!


In it I quoted three quotes ..

“Why does this keep happening to us?!”

“Nothing ever works out for anyone on our family!”

“I told my mum .. I want to die!”

Then I started the report!

The most complete report I’ve probably ever sent .. ever!

There are some conversations that are going to be extremely interesting over the coming days, weeks and months.

A lot of people are going to be hurting to varying degrees over this and they cannot say I didn’t warn them. Not for a moment. I spent years warning each and every one of them telling each it was a matter of time. That guessing the amount of time involved wood be akin to guessing the length of a piece of string.

Despite the negativity of many online people including those that are disabled .. my view is that it’s been shit for soo many people for so long that’s it’s hard .. no .. impossible to see an end to it all.

I see things .. a little differently to everyone else.

I’ve been working my arse off in ways many people couldn’t imagine for a very, very long time and just the document gathering started over 15 years ago, possibly more. It then changed up a couple of years around 12 years ago and then the recordings started around 8 years ago. The blogging started 5.5 years ago.

Many others have not covered as many as I have, not even close.

Many others have not done as much as I have.

Many others have not yet anywhere near the amount of devices I have used.

Many others have fallen by the wayside long, long, long before I have done.

Many others are defeatist.

But with death knocking on my door with no less than four knocks and no matter the amount of pain and suffering .. I continue.

No matter how many times I’m sent to the darkest corners of my mind .. I continue on.

I battle on because I know there is an end game. It’s inevitable. History had taught us that over and over again. Plenty of history books throughout .. well, history. Lol.

Find was what I needed. Time to reach the right amount of people. That was the proverbial length of string. How much time we needed?

The time was needed to reach the numbers and the numbers are more or less easy. A decent six figure number was what we required. Not everyone needs to read this blog .. just enough people needed to visit this blog. Because there is the one factor every single person forgets..

People talk.

If everyone, or rather the average, is that everyone speaks to one person about shit they read or heard about then you should the figures reached.

But as everyone knows .. it doesn’t work like that.

Everyone had at least the relatives on average.

Everyone has two of three friends on average.

So the average could reasonably be six people but could be as high as ten.

The other factor is the six degrees of separation.

In other words the world of country is a network.

Except there is one other factor that increases the numbers above expoentially..

.. Smart phones!

Since smart phones crashed into our lives something changed. The average of just six people increased itself expoentially. And that’s an understatement.

I know someone with 300 friends on Facebook and and I just even more than that Brits I decided it was too much and deleted a load. A lot more.

So even if we halve that to 150 .. that’s a bloody speedy network, think a ten gigabit connection.

There was always another possibility .. or rather .. another network or .. networks. I unfortunately don’t trust most of them .. probably most of them.

But there was always the possibility .. that .. something else would occur along the way and the very, very obvious is the mainstream news media.

When it’s already obvious that they are corrupt .. you have to think of something else or wait for something else. If you don’t possess the funds for an expensive, major legal battle that left the news media with no choice but to cover it.

Yeah .. didn’t have the funds for that, though I considered starting up a crowd funding campaign specifically for that alone. Never really could reach the decision to do it or set a date to do it.

Eventually I probably would have done. Not reached that point .. yet.

That left .. something coming from the proverbial left field.

This could have been from well known leftist, socialist or community group. A particular type of red political party that was .. well known enough.

Some of these are global.

There is, of course, that which is unknown or unexpected. The ‘left field’ as I tend to call it.

Well that left field was caught by me the other day and .. I’m not really sure how it happened to be perfectly honest. I really, really don’t.

But .. it’s happened.

They want to attack the government, the DWP and their henchman, no doubt?

Well that’s what I’ve been doing. They want a team player. Someone that can help and I have the my blogs and my ever worsening story.

There’s always an ever moving boundary that you need to cross but you never quite know where it lies at any given moment in time.

Your guessing at best but your hoping for the best each and every week. There’s a point you know you have ventured beyond it but you still need that boundary.

To leave the Earth’s atmosphere you need a certain amount of trust for a given length of time.

This is no different .. you need enough evidence combined with enough people.

I’ve long since had enough evidence .. and have a lot more too .. but it’s enough people.

What I got from left field was the .. umm Government. Well .. sorta .. a kind of shadow government .. of possibly a bunch of people after other ones jobs. Possibly not carrying the courage of their convictions.

We will see.

The chance has come and it’s been taken. An opportunity such as this simply could not be ignored. You would have to be a fool not to grab this with both hands. It’s merely a chance to change things before the tunnel exit is reached.

Since finishing this piece which I entirely wrote on my phone with squinty eyes I have now received confirmation of the Work & Pensions Committee receiving my updated and more complete report.

They stated that would get in contact with me if they require anything.

Let us see if they do anything?

I have had a phone conversation with one of my friends in London and a friend of someone up here and told them about being contacted. Both are shocked and over the moon.

My friend in London and the ex-social worker said “Oh, Martin! If anyone deserves this with everything you have done and everything they have done to you .. it is you”

I also told him about the crap HMRC over-payments and now he tells me they did it with his daughter too! He said they are the most unhelpful people on Earth and if this is the case what fucking moron put them in charge of payments for children?! What fucking absolute dicks!

You should heave witnessed first my friends shock and then roaring with laughter when I told him they billed one person £35,000 for last year and another young lady £6,500 for a period between 2008-12 when she went form the ages of 14 to 18 with no children?!

He knows as long term visitors of this blog would be well aware .. I have been kicked in the teeth so many times that they have now rapidly progressed my Fibromyalgia into things I first did not know you could get with this condition and secondly .. I have had them from a few month to well over a year before recently discovering they are far more serious complications to Fibromyalgia I have developed.

Funny then that no hospital I visited or GP in the last 18 months have either mentioned the connection to my Fibromyalgia to me when I reported the symptoms nor have I been warned to watch out for anything ..

Like my bloody EYESIGHT!

Oh and my heart!

More on that to come.


Well that was a surprise.

I had been looking for the email to the ministers of the DWP and as I stated previously that I had emailed them before.

Well and thanks to my short term memory problems .. I cannot recall but seem to have emailed the Work and Pensions Select Committee. Oops. Well as it turns out .. it seems to be OK ..

I had an email from them and they apologised for the situation that myself and my family and the children involved.

That is the very first time anyone has said that .. certainly in a genuine way.

It also turns out that they want to use me .. or at least the data I had already sent them. Here we go again it is the late Michael Meacher MP circa January 2013 all over again.

I am coming for you DWP .. I warned you and I warned you about this along with all your compatriots in the NHS and the local councils.

Now you have nowhere to hide. Lol.

Well .. that makes me feel much better! I was having a bad couple of days and had some chest issues earlier .. just getting to the local shop again.

I was beginning to feel like I was heading down a dead end as for the sixth time in a row the Citizen’s Advice sounded like they was going to be about as much use as a wet paper bag. They might prove otherwise but .. it did not sound like it on the last phone conversation with some woman. Did on the previous phone conversation with a guy called Steve.

The Work and Pensions Select Committee stated that they could use the report I sent them nut this was severely cut down. So I said I would speak to the other person being treated like crap and get back to them with a more detailed report.

Finally I see a chink and finally the situation I knew as a really bad one has been recognised as such by the best group that it possibly could.

Funny then that as I know reporters peruse my posts for ideas and leads that none of them have gotten into contact with me?!

But then maybe they linked me to the time previous to me starting this blog when I sent them a set of no less than four DVDs fully loaded with data? Data they ignored, did not go through or were paid to bury it? So maybe they will not contact me out of embarrassment or being called out by me? Imagine me asking the BBC, who killed my father anyway, or Sky, the Independent, Telegraph, Observer, Times (not sure about this one), Daily Express, Daily Mail, Mirror or any other I sent the data to being asked “Oh so NOW you want to talk to me?! Why not back then?!” Lol.

Yeah .. no! I will not get contacted by anyone in the media except some independent paper possibly or a local rag .. not owned by a big corporation or news group?

This will also be interesting considering the recent actions I have taken and it is such a relief to have .. relief again from the way I was feeling. I am here to help and am feeling like crap because everyone else has this self-entitled feeling to far more of the taxpayers money than decent, honest people trying to get by. People that happen to be very vulnerable.

This was the kind of reaction I expected a long, long time ago. I guess all good things come to those who wait?

I think I know which particular section they are interested in the most .. the one that proves incontrovertibly that they are not interested in getting people back into work at all .. not even the disabled people. Shows without a shadow of a doubt and maybe .. just maybe .. my holding back this time has made the difference?

What I will do is see what they say once I have compiled and sent them a report and had a reply. I will then deem whether it is wise to publish anything or just give positive hints regarding things?

It would be so good if I could give people some hope. I cannot imagine what that might feel like to me but I suspect it will feel out of this world to give hope to so any people, especially as I am hearing of more and more people wanting to take their own lives!

Is that a light I spy at the end of this very long tunnel that I have travelled in for so very long now?!


Undertakers must be tossing in their sleep?

I thought I would add just one more post regarding the treatment of disabled people by the government and those who are effectively their .. henchmen.

Now what I am going to tell you I kind of knew previously .. except the figures, I believe currently any way, have gone up since then.

Now you have to consider what it is that they are doing to the most vulnerable in society, which are those with disabilities.

They have been trying to kick them off Disability Living Allowance and still doing this since they bought in what was originally intended as its replacement, Personal Independent Payments, which is not going to be around for very long anyway. Because it is to be ‘absorbed’ for want of a better word, into Universal Credit and this was by 2020. Whether this date means everywhere at once or the last of the places to lose PIP I do not know.

So what do you do when you want to stop supporting and paying people with life changing disabilities where getting to your local shop can be a challenge and causes you to stop and thinking your about to have a heart attack.

I know because that is me and that is just something that has bothered e the last year ro 18 months ad does not include everything else. Pain from walking, pain from standing still, different pain fro descending stairs, aches, pains, tiredness (well it is a kind of sleep disorder), insomnia, bad anxiety and short term memory loss among many other things. That is just mine. God know what others suffer with.

I have been on DLA .. had it cancelled .. appealed and lost and not knowing what it was that affected me at the time.

When I later found out and had it diagnosed I then reapplied for PIP, got turned down, told them I know that they lie and had recordings .. they rang me up reversing the decision and then .. 18 months later cancelled it again. For not turning up for an assessment I have NEVER turned up for. Because they deliberately made them far away up to 30 to 50 miles when they had one a mile away from my house they failed to mention. I lost the appeal for the argument for not travelling 50 miles, because I travelled 6 miles on empty buses to a hospital appointment for an ECG over black-outs and grey-outs. Had head MRI too but the judge, Miss Mark, did not give a flying fuck about that just as I did not give a flying fuck about her three failed attempts to call me a liar that then stayed of the decision paperwork.

Yeah so what do you do to make everyone’s lives a misery so that you can save a bit of money?

What you do is you take two firms and you pay them half a billion pounds in a single year!

Except .. that figure was over £100 million some years ago and .. there are four today when years ago there was only one .. Atos .. who we were told I the news media they were getting rid of three or four years back. The news media has not, however, gone back to the government to ask why they are still there?!

Even Nick DeBois MP, Tory, for Enfield North told me to my face that the found out what Atos were up to and got rid of them. This was not true of course and I told him he was looking at one of the people responsible for getting rid of them due to the evidence I had published and the lies on their letters I had published with the video proof they had lied. I also told him that I was asked my Michael Meacher MP if he cold use my data in the House of Commons to attack Iain Duncan-Smith and send things to the news media.

Of course I had the odd story like mine appear in the news media but after Michael Meacher’s email to me this increased .. a lot. I regularly had disbelieving friends and family mention that they had just seen or heard something in the news that was a carbon copy of something I had covered. Many times months or years beforehand.

Yeah .. I always suspected the news media to be honest.

In fact I had suspected many for well over ten years. I moved to Enfield in 2007 and had long since suspected most of them including the mainstream news media. Including those that are now trying to steal the phrase ‘fake news’ as their own. God how utterly slimey can you get?!

So .. half a billion pounds to just half of the companies in just a single year?!

What will the bill be next year?

What I find utterly funny is how they keep on employing these people, not just the usual thoughts of what kind of rock they lifted up to find people like this.

Here is the late Michael Meacher MP’s talk in the House of Commons about the DWP, Atos and disabled people. I have never listened to it, sorry. Lol.

Now when it comes to the Atos and Capita scandal .. I am not sure of this link to where I heard about it, will work …

Oh .. it is reported in The Mirror .. boy, what has gotten into them? ..


Well that was strange ..

I have a couple of links that have been posted up on the ‘Stop Universal Credit’ Facebook page ..

As you can see from the web address it was kind of intended for people on the Wirral but has been attracting people from other parts of the UK. There was someone from Mansfield I believe.

This was set up by the target of my two crowd funding accounts, two was not intended as I said .. just that one got suspended and asked me some bizarre questions, which was GoFundMe, while the other was set up, Just Giving and UK based, because I doubted they would allow the GoFundMe one. Though from some stories I read I cannot blame them for being a little .. edgy.

Also and because I have not done this before .. I assume that GoFundMe is based in America so that may have a detrimental effect on any crowd funding. I m not sure how people are but if it is all Americans that see the GoFundMe accounts may be they might be suspicious or less caring about some family from across the pond? I dunno .. but it did occur to me that it is a possibility.

So when I was looking at alternatives and see that JustGiving is based in a land I love, Cornwall, I thought ‘hell, just set it up’!

Here is a bizarre comment previously made by the lady who is a Tory MP that cried over Frank Field’s accounts of people on Universal Credit. This is Evolve Politics website once again ..

I’ve said that from the beginning. It’s outrageous really that somebody who stands up to protect the poor and the vulnerable should not be a Conservative. That is utterly, utterly ridiculous. We can be economically disciplined but care for people as well.

Also on the page it states about how many people had died just from the Tories and their austerity measures but as the infamous line from George Osborne states .. “We are all in this together” I would like to see the list of people who are rich or wealthy who have died because of austerity.

The number is quoted at 120,000 though I am sure it is higher than that.

With that in mind it is then even more confusing when you then read a story in The Mirror .. or on their webpage .. that the firms that run the Tory government’s disability tests employ so few actual Doctors, a fact I have been reporting for several years, that you could fit them in a Mini?!

Bearing in mind it is not just Atos doing this any longer. As I stated previously .. they were not content with all the people that Atos helped kick off or killed .. they went and created/employed three more organisations. Maximus, Capita and another with a long winded name.

I have had several Doctors and specialists tell me that the DWP should not have come anywhere near me with my medical records. One A&E Doctor at North Middlesex Hospital answered when I asked him if he was sure he said “Mr Haswell .. I am looking at your medical records right now [gestured with his head towards his screen] and they should not have taken your disability away!” before the saying “I really do not know what is going on with this country and its public services!”

That was a Doctor Bolat.

That was also before all the chest/heart issues started playing up. Oddly I did used to wonder if this continuous stress would have a negative effect on me.

Odd too is that no one seems to mention that it is illegal to do things that cause your condition to worsen. But then maybe like the sanctions hey changed the law on that one too?

It is difficult to believe how things are and an old friend of mine who passed away from kidney cancer who see himself as a socialist would simply not believe what has been going on the last five years.

He knew I had a disability but it took me so long he never found out what it was called .. neither did my father .. or my grandmother .. or my Uncle who all died in the time I was trying to figure out what it was. Turned out two of the three in my family definitely had it. Unfortunately for me they were both terrified of Doctors and Hospitals and one was not even registered with one. In fact many that worked with one or just knew him thought he was a hypochondriac .. though he did not whine complain or admit himself to hospital as a hypochondriac would.

Now I know differently. But I had to discover it!

We thought just then we was about to get the tests of the biopsy as we had a missed call from the surgery but it turns out that it was just about the second scan for the second lump and to remind us it was next week.

So next week we have results to one biopsy which has had the health professionals looking quite concerned, had us in and out of Doctor surgeries five times and things being said that are worrying, like “There will be treatments available”. Then a scan on another lump that we will have to wit two weeks for and I am assured was spotted previously and subsequently ignored.

We are not sure at the present time what they intend to do about the third lump which is in their stomach.

This is without everything else that is going on right now .. it just simply an unbelievable situation and the treatment of us will likely not change whatever the results of the tests judging by everything I keep reading.


My mornings are .. a living nightmare.

Every single morning I wake up with some pretty intense anxiety. I have been given pills to deal with this which are diazepam and they do tend to work .. a little over half of the time.

There are so many things I am now worried about that just has this damned anxiety .. run riot. It does occur at other times of the day on occasion. But I am so busy during the day that I do not think it gets much of a chance to set in?

This is because I am either watching children, as I am right now and two this time, or taking people somewhere.

Because of all this I also forget to do things, which I used to do even living on my own. This .. memory loss also causes my anxiety to flare up.

This is very likely because there is so much responsibility on everyone’s shoulders these days and with that and just as another excuse to get more money so many punishments and fines. You would think that the anxiety would remind you but that is not always the case.

I spend most of my time .. away from my things. All my usual things as well as important things and the things I sometimes need to do .. important things.

Sudden changes in routine, things needing to be done and local schools, or at least one, that sends you a letter home with less than 24 hours notice to requiring something. I believe that school is either run by idiots or the authorities are all idiots for not forcing the school or schools on the Wirral to give more notice to parents. Most hilarious is when it is something that requires spending money when many families here are struggling and then some.

But I digress.

The anxiety I have is .. terrible.

I think I have explained before that at one point it was so bad it caused something they call Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs where the signals from the brain to the legs literally start to shut down.

When this occurs it starts of like an odd feeling .. when it happened about a year back I noticed my legs slowed down. I was in a seated position and already in the throws of anxiety and my knees were swinging in and out due to the anxiety. Then I noticed they slowed down and eventually were moving at a snail’s pace. This was odd because .. well it felt in my head, if that makes sense, that they were still working the same speed that they had been. I literally thought for a moment I was losing my mind. Well I was .. kinda.

I turned to the friend who I had been visiting and said “My legs .. are not working properly!” and he gave me a strange look. Yeah .. it must have sounded very weird. I stood up and I felt wobbly. The weird thing was that my friend was a Type 1 diabetic, well whatever number the bad one is, and I felt like he sometimes looked when his sugar was low. I was swaying a little.

Back then I did not go anywhere without a walking stick and I was panicking a little about what was happening to me. I told my friend I needed to go home and turned down the offer of a lift in his car. I thought that trying to walk might ease whatever it was that was now happening to me? But .. no.

God knows what I looked like to others and I was self-conscious about this, only because I know the look that diabetics get when their sugar is low. People naturally assume they are drunk.

People naturally assume a lot of things .. and get it wrong.

I phoned ‘111’, I never ring ‘999’, and explained the symptoms to them and they sent someone round and they could not find the problem and later I got a call from my GP of the time, who booked me in for the next morning. In the evening things calmed down but I decided to go and have a look online and after some searching I found the Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs thing.

I told the Doctor the next morning, who had no idea himself what was going on, and it was yet another time I discovered the answer before a professional did.

Now at the time I had told both people I saw and my friend that I had never experienced this before but later realised I was wrong on that one.

It had indeed occurred once before a very, very long time ago and it moved my onset of Fibromyalgia to many years earlier than I had even started asking about it. The year was roughly 1991 and it was kinda caused over a bout of anxiety over a woman. Oddly and despite living 250 miles away from the place where it occurred in Hertford, East Herts, the woman in question now only lives a few miles away. I never told her and we broke up over twenty years ago now.

So my Fibromyalgia definitely goes back to 1991 .. and I had been asking about it after it started to affect my feet, which was around 2001. I self-diagnosed this condition of Fibromyalgia around 2013 .. then after some resistance and lies had it confirmed at Guy’s Hospital around 2013-14. Well I was posting on here when I discovered it so it can be checked.

Oddly enough it was a little later on by about a year or two after the first Rubber Legs event that the first symptoms started to occur. Tiredness and even the first feelings of being depressed and I remember being prescribed Prothiaden.

The Doctors I saw would have been more than a dozen over the years even for just the General Practitioner’s alone. I was under GP Surgeries in three separate location just in Walthamstow alone and the Forest Road Medical Centre I probably saw close to ten GP’s. I distinctly recall three separate black GP’s at this same practice, an Arab GP, another two east Asian .. at least two women GP’s one Indian and one .. Portuguese. There may well be others I have forgotten over the years? That is eight under one practice just to give an example.

I have had five GP practices just in Enfield, my last one had three GP’s .. the one before that had two, a father and son, and the one before that I saw .. three I think? Before that it was a single GP practice. Before that one was a large multi GP practice and this one I saw .. four I think, though might have been more?

That is at least twenty one separate General Practitioner’s over twenty years and this does not include locums, hospital Doctors or Specialists.

Chase Farm Hospital I saw .. several. At Barnet I saw two .. in one appointment .. I know I have been there two other times but I cannot recall what for. North Middlesex Hospital I have seen at least three. Whipps Cross Hospital I probably see the most Doctors and specialists as I lived there on and off from around 1986 until 2007. Saw a Rheumatologist there, my first for my feet around 2003 .. ish? I dunno but the letter from that is on here .. somewhere. Two endoscopies that were years apart both at Whipps Cross Hospital the diagnosis of each look to be wrong, by a GP’s own suspicion and comments about it around 2011 to 2012. Might have been a little earlier?

So you see it runs into the dozens .. even regarding my back I had several people.

The funny thing was I wanted all of the symptoms dealt with at once as it seemed obvious to me ll along that they must all be caused by the exact same thing? But this was NOT the attitude of Doctors and the NHS at the time or indeed .. now. I was also told a couple of times it was not possible that these symptoms could be caused by the same thing.

Wrong answers, wrong diagnosis and lies, the latter being discovered much later, was all I got from the NHS for over twenty years. An attitude that was to leave me open to attack fro others, refused help and support from others and actually aggravate my condition. Causing ever more frequent and intense pain, ever more frequent and intense anxiety and now to the point my blood pressure is though the roof, I have had hundreds of grey-outs and worse and now complications with my chest and heart.

So after all that the government, with successive ones causing my condition to worsen, now want to stand behind me with the proverbial whip to get me to work. Well if is the right work and I get help doing it and left with more money to be able to run the car I need to work .. great. But they are not and have even taken money away from me, living component at the present time but want me to work. Yeah .. maths, dear people .. MATHS!

I have carried that and many other things on my shoulders for years.

I have been in some dark places and am even in one right now .. which may turn out to be the worst one of all, now down to the same attitude only with someone else as well as me!

Only this person does things I would not only find impossible but doe to the absolute sheer incompetence in failing to spot my illnesses but other potentially fatal ones I may have to do it. But I have no idea how I will do it!

When I started this blog I explained the attitudes and the issues I had and I told everyone what these were and what was wrong. I also made a bunch of predictions too and among these is that people would die.

I predicted that cutting the mental health sufferers off would even cause a rise in deaths.

I predicted that the NHS would cause a rise in deaths.

I should have predicted that the Police’s attitude would cause a rise in deaths and maybe I even did?

I predicted that the DWP would cause a rise in deaths.

I predicted that the Local Councils would cause a rise in deaths.

It is bloody annoying that I did not realise it before but this particular change in numbers due to deaths is even capitalised on by the government to make their numbers and their record look good! Now you cannot get more evil than that now, can you?

Take the numbers of people that have died and make those numbers look to the public as if they are doing a good job?! Your bonkers if you think they do not know they are doing it and fecking amoral if you have no problem with that.

Many of my predictions have come true and with every day, week and month that passes more are reported on all the time. Most not in the mainstream media mind you. But that is another story I have covered over and over again.

So it was with both sadness and anger that I heard about a young woman called Averil Hart. A young lady who died of a heart attack who was anorexic. She was failed by the NHS and this time in Norfolk I the east of England.

According to the news media the PHSO, or Parliamentary Health Services Ombudsman, stated that she was ‘failed by every NHS body’.

Wow! Just .. fucking .. WOW! The PHSO actually do something .. too late just like everyone else.

My advice to the poor girl’s family is beware of the PHSO as like all ombudsman they are there for damage limitation, despite us paying for them too!

I know this to be true because after I got recordings of Doctors and Specialists lying and falsifying test results I went through the bullshit procedures only there as a time-wasting exercise and they took up my complaint. I got letters and compliment slips along with a couple of emails off them for almost two years. One day it occurred to me that they had been quiet for several months so I contacted them. This is how it went ..

  • PHSO: Who are you we have no record of your complaint

  • ME: What?! But you have been contacting me for nearly two years about this!

  • PHSO: No, we have no record of you, we checked again (no RECORD do not forget)

  • ME: Well I have records of someone from you contacting me (gave them his name I think was Jonathan White)

  • PHSO: We have no record of a Jonathan White ever working for the PHSO

  • ME: Well that’s funny .. if your going to intend to lie to members of the public do not put your staff member’s name in your email address

  • PHSO: (silence and never hear from again)

So yeah .. do not trust them. But then I have learnt that you cannot trust anyone.

Also on searching for the BBC report of this shocking story I discovered something else I have been predicting for a long time too.

The first sign that other nations are started to notice things about the UK? I have a link from a website in India. I must admit that this is not something that I have really researched to see who is saying what about the UK.

Two people here with disabilities and responsible for four children, two autistic, and each of us never want to wake up in the morning at times .. and I mean ‘ever’ wake up.

Meanwhile I am under this stupid system where I need to remember to call my GP Surgery at 8am for an appointment to avoid being forced to wait two weeks. Did that for my first appointment despite it being potentially serious and still is.

I also said that eventually the bad news will spread to other nations who will start to look at the UK and ask awkward questions.

I wonder how many have possibly paid for advice from UK organisations that have claimed for years they are something they are not?