Been busy trying to tidy up the place. My home that is.

I have been busy with other things I will get to before too long.

I have also managed to give up one vice while I have also got into something new, once again more on that soon when I manage to get around to it and take some pictures and maybe a movie or two?

I am also on the cusp of two events.

It has been a very, very long wait. I am hoping it comes to an end and while I type that I know that one way or another it will come to an end.

Either something happens or it does not. If it does not then the message given out is very clear, very clear indeed. Not one that I either wanted nor considered for single second I would get the whole while I was helping and working on something.

They always speak about things in life being there to both test you and teach you … but not this one … this is a learning process that no one wants to experience.

I am also late in getting off a second wave of letters to literary agents and am also considering at this point at contacting solicitors now as well as companies with goof reputations in the hope of getting some advertising deal. In the event it turns out that money I thought would be returned last October, 2015, is not returned and indeed not there at all. That was what I never considered.

It has been a miserable winter and my heart goes out to those in the north of the UK getting far more intensity and frequency of that we have had in the suburbs of London!

After God knows how many storms we, or rather they, have Henry incoming.

Those that have been here enough times and long enough know that I cycle a lot. For anyone trapped indoors or have difficulty or being put off going too far I implore you to get a cycle of some kind.

For me it is a mean to escape, I can get among the wildlife and nature in about 30 minutes and not be near anyone else. It allows me to think too and I can even get creative by carrying in my backpack notebooks, pens and even a tablet PC. I often carry other gadgets too like a bridge camera for one, if it is good weather, Spring or Summer or I am able to get somewhere to film British birds that are winter visitors only.

I have pains in my feet, hips and other places caused by Fibromyalgia. I also have some kind of back problems and a physically damaged right knee. The cycling helps with most but does aggravate the knee, if I am honest. Luckily not too much.

Also Fibromyalgia can, if your really unlucky, get so bad that you can wind up bed ridden.

Anyone that knows about Fibromyalgia, including the very few Doctors out there, will tell you that light exercising keeps the pains at bay, not gone per se, just at bay and stops you winding up bed ridden.

Do not do too much and do not become a couch potato. It will only get progressively worse.

In the news I see that the sudden deaths of celebrities keep on coming with Terry Wogan being added to the list. It is quite bizarre I must say.

Also more corruption keeps on being exposed.

One wonders when it will end? Hopefully and eventually they would have exposed everyone and it will end. Hopefully then things can and will get better?

I have done my bit to expose as many as I can and the list runs into dozens … no literally, lol. To the point whereby people high up in organisations pick up the phone to warn others of what I am up to. They also still try and second guess me but … well, they are just wasting their time.

Carry on playing games and trying to second guess while wrongly assuming your the most intelligent man in the room and you just play right into my hands.

Tomorrow is February 2016.

From tomorrow we have seventeen days. Seventeen days where a great deal can happen.

Separate from this are some endeavours of my own. I have to send off a second wave of literary agent letters, but I am not expecting to be taken on, just lied to and I have already which I will get around to aty some point. I own books on becoming an author that states that almost all literary agents are basically idiots. Almost all sit around waiting for a template that has already been created.

Putting that in a straightforward example everyone would love to get something along the lines of Harry Potter because of the popularity and the money it made. Except Harry Potter has already been done and anything else would seem like a rip-off and not make 1% (one percent) of the money that Harry Potter made.

Quite possibly the percentage should be in small fractions? Lol.

Some state that they are destroying literature.

It is all about have something interesting to say, explaining and proving facts not known before, or theorised and/or suspected. It is about getting things across that everyone can fully understand and see without the chance they will walk away without really looking.

Now save for posting my secretly recorded audio files and photocopied reports in every single post when they number in the many dozens I do all of the above in the previous paragraph.

I have also always been told this by fellow degree students, friends and family and have even been told by them all and a member of Mensa that I have a unique way with words and explaining things. A previous employer, two solicitors also friends, also said the same and stated I was very good at teaching and should do that.

Dozens and dozens of intelligent people, professionals, scientists and solicitor along with many of your average bods all of which number in the hundreds have told me to do EXACTLY what I a doing now. As well as write the books I have written.

For some strange reason literary agents cannot see what hundreds of others have all seen.

The only difference between all of these people from my past and that of all the literary agent is that the former have met me. Maybe that is the key difference?

I am often told after a first meeting that I have blown people’s minds or they cannot believe how much I know and even that I should me a millionaire with my knowledge.

Oddly there is someone I should currently be teaching absolutely everything that I know and everything that I can do.

Annnnd were back to that approaching dawn.

I have also just remembered of another item I need to take photos of and post about which is very disappointing and involves two companies. Two more companies to add to the ever growing list and one a manufacturer and one a retailer.

I am shocked to have to say what it is I will say. Especially when I tried to purchase every other item from the high street retail store and they did not have a single one … or pair, I should say.

In 1985 I bought their product and swore I never would again and here we are thirty years later and once again I am stating that which I did in 1985. After already having good item of the exact same thing which I have owned for two years. Bonkers, is what it is, lol.

The other new gadget I have I have loved, found a bit tricky and then went out and spent a lot more on another bigger and better gadget! Money I had not planned on spending but I simply could not resist after buying the first one.

I cannot put the damn thing down!

I have looked into this … past-time and discovered a few odd things. Both good things and bad things and after doing a post on here I might skip it over to my computing blog? Or maybe keep it going on here?

So I am working on several things currently and we have seventeen days in February that re going to be … a little odd, if I am honest, and quite … productive in more ways than one.

I also wonder if this year of 2016 will be the one whereby I end up hearing something linked to me being mentioned?

In the meantime I have to endure such rotten weather that induces such painful levels of boredom that it is simply unbelievable.

Dammit! I also still have to look up the insurance cost for the car I have been offered!

I keep forgetting. I forget a great deal of things. Thank you Fibromyalgia!

I have got to expand, or find a way of expanding this year.

I had planned to be moving north about now. This would be to allow a relative of mine to be able to get to me within an hour. So they could see me whenever they felt the need to. I thought that would be happening about now and probably would too had I been allowed to do as I wanted to and not had a door shut on me.

Yes it can be better late than never but it is starting to very much look and feel like never. With one man’s words ringing in my ears like a loud foghorn has gone off beside my head!

These boots were bought for walking, lol pardon the reference, have now presented me with a problem. So if I was asked to whisk myself away I am back in the boat I was in back in September and October of 2015!

So may things and tools needed and not enough cash to acquire them all!

Even more annoying when these things and tools should have all been purchased by Autumn 2015 and I simply have no idea right know of when that time will be! Autumn 2016 will be … a bit of a stretch and I have estimated I am about 14 months late, due to another endeavour that looks to now have been unproductive. I was informed all along the way that it was and indeed the moment hat it was productive. But all I have right now is a pea-souper of fog and I cannot see a damn thing! I also cannot even blame this on the symptom of Fibrofog I experience often!

I plan to instigate something, all the same. To try and get and put an end to this four year long ordeal once and for all.

Because I have spent the last three months wondering whether or not I have been a naive idiot taken for a fool. I have the absolute best excuse in the world, mind you!

Like I said, the 17th February 2016 is they key date ion all this and II had also figured in a 12 week period which has now passed. The number of weeks in that period is not finite and can be variable. So a couple of extra weeks allows things to … happen, or not, as the case may be.

While that happens I will work on a few things to keep me busy. There are a couple other things I want to work on but not quite got all the tools I require. A little worried that I will do myself a physical injury in the space I have that could easily wind up losing a digit (finger or thumb), hand, arm or even kill me! LMAO!

You gotta do something. No one can sit around on their arse all day and it drives me nuts trying to sit still for a single day! Simply not possible. Not here at any rate. Not with my current … surroundings.

I also need to go to the local council, so potentially more audio, and check what their Housing Benefit monthly payments ceiling is. Because at the possible worst time my landlord has informed me they have to put the rent up. Dammit!

I have lost count of the number of things that have occurred in the period between November to date, January 31st 2016! Even my health and particularly back pains have been going into overdrive like never before!

So I have endeavoured to turn each of these things around into something … else! Lol.

Eighteen days from now the horizon could look very different and I am hoping that it is a darned sight closer and not a darned sight further away?!

Here’s hoping.



Well this one was coming…but it pain me to ee this happen to a mere child.

I have posted for a very long time now about the NHS and its failures along with its corruption. I have explained how they dictate from the top down and all the way to General Practitioners to lie to patients to save money. I have secretly recorded, been informed and even had several Doctors admit to me how things are.

Hands tied behind their backs, though only excuses for a mere few Doctors, and forced not to refer patients off for anything expensive, scans, diagnosis and even treatments when the diagnosis is known.

Several Doctors knew I had Fibromyalgia and my right knee condition at least two years before I diagnosed the Fibromyalgia myself and forced them into a corner at Guy’s Hospital to diagnose it. I secretly recorded everything for around 7 years or more and much is on this blog in the archives.

There may have been other deaths other the one I have linked to below I may have missed. I have absolutely no doubt their have been many deaths tat have curiously gone without being reported.

NHS England, who I proved are just ass corrupt as everyone else, are blaming this on the ‘111’ service, oh what a surprise. If your not a qualified Doctor I am afraid your only paid in your career until they require a scapegoat, and your it!

I only hope to God there are not many more like Baby William Mead but logically I know that in time my hopes will be dashed.

In fact I have been writing on this blog in the hopes of preventing such deaths and I have gone after all involved with an iron fist or two. I have even contacted the news media on previous occasions without so much as a reply.

Oddly enough much of what I report has ended up in the media in one form or another and despite the dozens of subjects covered in corruption I would struggle to think of anything I have covered that has not featured in the media.

Now when I said at the outset that everything I provide on here is free to use I was referring to victims and not those wanting to advance their careers without doing any work and stealing the work of others. Just to recap.

Also when I say ‘dozens of subjects’ I really do mean dozens and along with the NHS there is also the DWP, Atos, two Police Forces, four Local Councils, Bailiffs, six retail chains or more and many others along with all the ombudsman and governing bodies. The latter two also being paid large salaries to do very little or even nothing at all. The latter of that sentence in my many personal cases, even with secretly recorded evidence that in each case was never, ever asked for.

There goes the neighbourhood.

I dare say there is going to be a whole raft of excuses and finger pointing going on in this case and that is how they get away with it.

Everyone points at each other and the courts decide, quite conveniently, that as they cannot prove who was to blame everyone gets off scott-free.

Oh provided that there is any Legal Aid of course, which I seriously doubt, and even if you are willing to pay your solicitor has not informed you it is a waste of time and money because of the finger pointing routine.

That is better legal advice than many solicitors can provide!


My Internet has gone down, do not know why, so I am typing this in a word processor for now. I should get into the habit of doing this far more often.

I was told two shocking stories in the last two days, the first involving the NHS and the second one I want to post about today to do with the DBS and specifically the Metropolitan Police.

“Ere, Ere, Ere, you write about this stuff?!” Is what I heard before a friend of mine was explaining about his wife’s attempt to get a job. A job as a carer.

I have known several carers and one of my family members has done this job for a number of years while my mother was a child-minder.

Yes, yes stands to reason that if your going to be working with and caring for vulnerable people that you need to be vetted.

Standard procedure to have a Police check done on you which is handled by the DBS, or the Disclosure and Barring Service in Liverpool. Liverpool once again?! That is three separate things I have looked into which are based or linked to Liverpool. I cannot seem to escape that area. Merseyside Police and Wirral Council, along with the Criminal Prosecution Service and Cafcass already got a grilling in a four year long court case.

All the details to the latter are to be found on the archives of this blog, just use the search function like you would Google. Secret recordings, emails, screenshots and reports full of bullshit are all to be found on here. Four local councils, two Police forces, the NHS and a whole long list that includes almost everyone else. Now it is time for the Met Police and the DBS.

Only the story I was being told started to get stranger and stranger. As it turns out the guy’s wife had, to date, been waiting for no less than 7 months for the Police check to come through.

Stranger still was that the position has been held for her the whole time this has been going on?! I say ‘stranger’ but as more of the story unfolded that latter part tarted to make more sense.

The DBS and the Metropolitan Police have been chased up several times.

The DBS service is based in Liverpool while all they do is send the request for the Police check off to someone within the Metropolitan Police or bizarrely to your local Police station. Quite why they would send this to your local Police station is not only beyond me but completely ridiculous. Why on Earth would you contact someone in Liverpool to send a piece of paper, form or forms, to the Police Station very close to you?

In this case we are speaking about Harrow in the North West of London.

Now I believe their previous nearest station was Paddington Green which they were told was closed down. So when pressed to find out where the application was gone as it had gone well beyond ridiculous they were told something quite bizarre.

Sidcup in Kent?!

So they live in the outskirts of North West London and according to the DBS and Metropolitan Police their local Police Station is so far in the opposite direction to them, south-east, that the station is actually in Kent?!


It also turns out there is a charge for this and the employers have waited so long that they have quite mysteriously and inexplicably requested that another DBS check is made. Fifty pounds a pop!

When the Metropolitan Police were pressed harder they were given a long email apologising and at one point were given a link to the Metropolitan Police’s website which explained about a backlog of applicants for Police checks.

So, please realise at this point that the number of people on this backlog equates to the number of people waiting to start a new job. Be it carer, child-minder or anything else that requires a Police check. They were also told that they only had two people to handle this backlog. TWO?!

Also remember that the lady featured in this post has been waiting for seven months to date.

Seven months with no clue given as to when this Police check would come through.

I cannot help but think about how quickly the Police to a check on your records when they think you have committed a crime? Instant from my own experience!

Seven months. Seven bloody months!

I also have to state that it was remarked by someone that they take on immigrants in these positions in the blink of an eye and how do there Police checks work and take place so quickly?

Why are the DBS, Disclosure and Barring Service, not take this up with central government and point out the ludicrous cost to the taxpayer?

Because everyone is stupid and incompetent leaving how anyone got employed in these jobs beyond the realms of common sense and reality?

You better believe it.

Now the number of people in this long backlog …


That is sixty seven thousand people at the time of posting!

That is sixty seven thousand people and rising all waiting to tart their jobs but in the 7 months or more they have to wait millions in benefits will be paid out to them!

Only in the UK could the waste of money that is corruption, refusing to diagnose and lying about your health be equally matched by complete incompetence.

This is something I am going to keep a close eye on, if I remember and on this size of the backlog. I also stated to my friend that this was far worse than the Passport Office grinding to a halt, though not for the real reason which was to do with me and kept out of the media.

I have since been informed by someone else I know that their son has been waiting no less than five months for a DBS check to return. I informed him they may have to wait another two to three months and maybe even longer. I will let them know when the other person has had their check returned.

Another example of public service shear incompetence and more taxes being wasted paying benefits and rent for at least 7 months for 67,000 people.

In merely a few months these numbers could double? Will we get to a year or even 18 months and 100,000 to 150,000 people waiting? Will it get their and they drop it back to what it is now and then stupidly state this is OK?!

Here are just a couple of the many emails received …


Here is the the screenshot to the size of the waiting list …

DBS Times

Here is the link to said waiting list …

I have contacted both the DBS service and the Met Police with what I know and for their comments on this fiasco …


Dear Sirs

Disclosure & Barring Service

I have been contacted by someone who has been waiting 7 months, to date, for a check to come back via the DBS service so that they can start a job.

On looking into this it turns out that there is a backlog of 67,000 people waiting and the official line is that there are only two people working on this.

I find it completely shocking that with the way the financial situation is in the UK that 67,000 people and no doubt rising are having to wait 7 months, also no doubt rising, before starting their jobs.

Also and like many other things, the NHS refusing to diagnose and treat patients, I find this another alarmingly false economy that many over-paid and dishonest people within the public services somehow fail to see.

Also alarmingly it is yet another example of a very serious situation that somehow gets missed by the mainstream media.

This is something I specialise in and own a blog that exposes much of this.

Could you please comment on what is being done to change the situation?

Yours faithfully

Martin Haswell BSc


Well how about that?

It’s been ten years, well I think that’s what they stated, and after all that time they almost tell us what we all already knew.

I am speaking about the murder of the Russian ex-FSB agent Sasha Litvinenko, via poisoning by the radioactive substance called Polonium.

Ten years. I’ll say it again, ten years! I wonder how many millions the bill was to take ten years to tell us what we already knew ten years ago?

Of course the Russian government predictably react the wrong way giving away their own guilt in all this!

Spy films and novels really do these people far too much justice and attach far too much intelligence to them.

The keyword in all this is Polonium and their idiotic use of an incredibly rare bi-product of a nuclear process.

The Russian government have reacted with anger over the accusation, though it wasn’t and they only said it was ‘probably Putin’, for the second time.

Let’s say for a moment that it wasn’t what we all knew and that Putin did not sanction the assassination of Sasha Litvinenko.

If I was a Russian citizen and naïve enough to think Putin was not involved I would be thinking a whole set of other things. For instance how did such a lethal substance get out a nuclear power plant?

The British authorities would have to be completely incompetent to make up such an elaborate ruse. Did not do very well at it and no confirmation of Putin’s involvement. They only tried to give credence to the levels of intelligence that Russian scientists must have. That a substance such as Polonium could go walking out the door so easily would not just alarm the Russian government and scientists but also their entire populace. Anyone remember Chernobyl?

Therefore, for such a substance to occur wherever the two assassins, also Russian, went would have to be sanctioned from the very top.

Also in the last ten years there has been no blowback in Russia from President … sorry, just Putin add I forgot he wasn’t voted in. Or rather find a way to vote himself into power. Hmm, where was I? Oh yes, you would think there would have been plenty of reactions about a legal radioactive substance not only getting out and being used but left a trace all the way to a restaurant/cafe in London.

Not to mention any reaction from the rest of the world, the United Nations and the International Atomic Energy Agency over a trace of a radioactive substance being found all over the place.

Sometimes you just need to stop and think of the organisations and bodies that should also be involved or at least mentioned?

From the smallest of indiscretions right up to the use of extremely lethal substances the bodies that are tasked to watch, regulate, punish and prosecute are nowhere to be seen.

Makes you wonder about the handling of dangerous diseases and viruses does it not?

Anyone seen the film Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman and Renee Russo?

To think of this so called leader who struts around and feels the need to act all macho and manly but looks to be nothing more than a Mafia boss who happens to be leading a country.

I like Russia and its people and always wanted to visit but just like here I wonder to how widespread the naivety runs? I only state this as it’s worrying when you see people in the Ukraine who are Russian praising the hell out of Putin because he has done something they wanted.

All evils are forgiven purely because someone gets the benefits they want from a so called leader. That’s idiotic as well as selfish and in the long run only serves to be self defeating. Oh well.

It’s not purely confined to the Russians. I have seen it anywhere and everywhere over the years.

Oh well, another big mountain of money that’s spent ten years flowing down the drain on a pointless exercise to state what’s long since been obvious.

Makes you wonder what would have happened if the death of Sasha Litvinenko had not got such wide publicity?

I also wonder if poor Mr Litvinenko ever discovered that we are almost as bad in the UK, just in different ways?

That’s probably why we have had this ten year inquiry costing tens of millions of pounds, to make us believe they would do something?

I’m waiting for the day when someone produces a very long list in a side by side comparison of a very short list of people who are prosecuted. One list will be of people of power, money and notoriety while the other are just poor and working class people… up to a point.

I have long wondered what that point turns out to be.

I hope they provide bar graphs too? I do like a good bar graph… and pie charts!


President Putin ‘probably’ approved Litvinenko murder –


I have, if you have not read this bit by now, an ongoing personal battle.

In fact it is true to say that I have several ongoing personal battles.

I have a couple of health conditions, possibly several, that render me into world of disabled people and more details about this will be forthcoming throughout this year, 2016.

First and foremost is Fibromyalgia and of the 200 odd possible symptoms I have around 120 odd that could be attributed to this condition. It is not a nice condition. Not in my case. The combinations of symptoms from those 200 are, as you could imagine, endless.

Do not think ‘pain’ when you read symptom. A symptom is what it states.

However as well as the obvious pain symptoms others can fall into other categories just as bad if not worse than the ones within the pain category.

One category that should be obvious is feeling ill.

One other is embarrassing.

Another one is bloody annoying and very distracting and then there are the mild ones.

I experience half a dozen pains across both my feet and the same pain in each ankle, calf muscle, both knees, hip, lumbar, thoracic and neck region along with shoulder. That is sixteen pains straight off the bat. I am working with them, around them and battling to find solutions all the time. I do not get a great deal of help.

Moving into the illness category, that I am to focus on for this post, I have three symptoms that include nausea. One of these I realised recently was occurring in the late afternoons and was linked to not eating enough throughout the day. In other words worse when I had not eaten anything at all.

There are two others and I have covered both of these many times but I do not think I have covered them together.

One is literally feeling sick to the point of throwing up but without any dizzy sensations at all. Quite weird. This was initially linked by the NHS to Oesophagitis, Grade C. Though many years later one honest GP pointed out that the Lansoprazole medication I took for it was only supposed to be taken until the Oesophagus healed up and not anywhere near the 12 years I had been taking it. I pointed out that stopping the pills would result in me having the bad heartburn I also get with it.

Another symptom I get, which I do not think I initially linked to my Fibromyalgia, is that of motion sickness. I have had this fro a child but only ever occurred when I wa the passenger and if I never ept my eyes on the road.

A few years back that started to change.

I started to get occasions when the motion sickness would just appear even while watching the road while showing an extreme polar opposite to a few times when I simply would not get affected at all. I could even take my eyes off the road on some occasions and still not become affected.

Around a year or so back I would even get this bad motion sickness without even travelling in any kind of moving vehicle whatsoever! Now that was worrying.

There often odd symptoms I have that I have often worried might start occurring at the same time that was extremely worrying and had felt lucky that they had not.

Two days ago this changed.

I had started taking Metaclopramide many months ago and two days back a friend was driving down to Gravesend in Kent to drop off his son at his girlfriends house. I decided to go with him. I was OK for most of the journey going there and had taken a pill. Before I left I had the feeling of throwing up, always accompanied with coughing, that I mentioned that seems to be brought on by any trapped air within my stomach. So I rarely get trapped wind pain as the vomiting comes on long before this happens these days. On the way back from Kent I started to get the motion sickness and by the time we got to Waltham Abbey it was bad. I was also getting the vomiting feeling too and  this was the very first time that these two things had both occurred together. Really the only time the motion sickness will then pass completely would be several hours after stopping being in a moving vehicle and often only after a night’s sleep. Though not every single time but mostly.


Getting to me also is the fact that my back pain has gone from something that occurs a few times a month to a few times a week and for a large number of month now an every single day thing!

I race and battle to find solutions to these things while battling to remember to bring them up with those I should do because of one other symptom that causes temporary short term memory loss. Do not even get me started.

So two days ago the two most obvious symptoms to do with feeling ill both occurred simultaneously for the very first time.

I can honestly state that I have lost count of the number of times when I have asked myself how our own bodies can be so effing cruel to us and why on Earth we would evolve bodies that can cause such an array of symptoms with each one driving you beyond the point of distraction to the edge on insanity on occasion? How on Earth so many things can occur within one individual is beyond me and how it has gone unnoticed, disregarded and ignored by the mass populaces for so long is even more staggering. Head shakingly staggering considering the number of so called scientists that have existed for the last few hundred years plus.

Te funny thing is about this occurring now is that I had thought that a couple of months before Christmas, 2015, I would be in a position to actively pursue solutions in a completely new and NHS-less way. I have not and I do not know why just yet and now one of my fears has actually come to light.

The NHS have previously first ignored, fobbed off, wrongly diagnosed, diagnosed but not divulged and lied about my symptoms. Oddly I was asked recently if the lies were simply them getting it wrong? Well apart from the fact that would mean almost every health professional I had ever met on the NHS being an incompetent twat, around three dozen or more, no. Not when one admitted falsifying an ultrasound (on tape and on here) and another admitting that they do under orders from high up in the NHS, definitely no! I would not need the times when things were admitted to me to now that they had been lying. I simply cannot state how long for beyond around 18 months.

As for the things promised to me that then never materialise the list is endless and goes back twenty years. Oddly each and every Doctor has not considered either the consequences nor even the possibility that I might spot this and might do something about it!

Even more bizarre is the fact that they never stopped to consider of the NHS would hold their hands up if a patient either realised the truth or caught them red handed, blatantly in the act?

These are supposed to be educated and intelligent people? Each one I have met also act as if a medical Doctorate or degree trumps all other scientific degrees and Doctorates on the planet! They do this even when I point out that I was offered a Doctorate, I stupidly turned down, that involved Computer Science creating a simulation to train surgeons on how to perform keyhole surgery, so was in the world of medicine and surgery. In other words you have to be fully educated in BOTH fields, or at least will be by the end of the project.

I tell them this and it gets forgotten.

Maybe I should take my Degree in with me when I first go on a GP Surgery’s register because maybe they think I am lying? Lol!

I was offered the Doctorate by Peter Pasmore, my graphics lecturer, at Middlesex University back in 2000 because my thesis was a computer system that stored data on the animal kingdom, of which I am also an expert and have several blogs about. Oops. I did state from the outset that everything I did was connected and part of a bigger plan?! Lol. Which incidentally got interest from several zoos and museums both here in the UK and overseas including the USA. MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE

All backed up with my YouTube channel and I also have several other blogs covering other topics to boot! Oh dear!

I already have other combinations that have gone on for years but have been worried for bloody years that these combinations might, over time, get other things occurring with them.

It is hard to imagine how unbearable things would be become with the increasing frequencies of symptoms overlapping in these ways.

So you can see that things are something of a battle. No. a series of battles and I try to work hard towards something while trying, all at the same time, to uncover the truth about corruption and help other people who are victims?

Things do not always go according to plan and when they do not II have to … improvise … a lot!

Through all the negative sources and naysayers into the ring and you might just start to get the idea that things are not an easy or a free ride?

I often have to change direction and plan things differently. I suddenly found myself with a gaping hole of several months right through winter, not good, that I had to fill. I am also in need of a new high powered zoom camera preferably before the Spring arrives so I can photograph and film animals.

The fact that my getting around is extremely limited due to the pains, motion sickness and embarrassing symptoms along with a lack of a car is a major pain in the butt!

Once again this should have all changed a couple of months before Christmas and it did not and there were several posts pointing this this up and coming big change. A change that I decided would take place in mid February at the very latest, though I still do not know the reasons why there is a date, or two in fact, in mid February that are both constants and would strongly hint to things changing at that time.

Both are birthdays!

For the time being and looking more and more likely to be the case for the rest of 2016 I have to keep trundling on. At least for another 18 months and then…who knows?


There was something about Rugby a few years back.

Recently there was Football and before long Athletics.

Now it is tennis.

Just in recent times alone three of the biggest sports have been exposed for being corrupt. Some in more ways than one.

That’s just the ones that have been found out, of course.

I was surprised to hear of one of the biggest names in tennis play the while thing down. I was immediately suspicious with an initial thought thought he might have been involved at some point. Let’s see how that one pans out?

So many people wanting far too much or more than they have, even if they have quite a great deal. If they can’t get it by honest means they will resort to anything.

Very sad and pathetic individuals. A blemish on humanity that will eventually go the way of the dinosaur.

Sadly those with far too much do very little good with what they have, other than a free of charge appearance somewhere.

Still have their naïve devoted followers and fans though.

For once not one of my predictions, but then I can’t have eyes, ears and involvements in everything. I’m just one man. Just one man without resources and a couple of disabilities to boot.

Still, I’m not surprised. Like I said before it’s everywhere I did get involved. So, no surprises there then.

Twenty four months. Twenty four months and we would be well into my own endeavours and six months beyond a key point.

I wonder what lay in store during this time and what other things bubble up to the surface?

I still have a few predictions as well as a few endeavours in the very prolonged pipeline.

In the end it will amount to a collection of predictions, endeavours and facts that you could not get close to anywhere else. It will also said a very, very low failure rate. Possibly no failure rate?

Twenty four months is a long time and I never claimed nor am I infallible.

I’m sure glad I am not one that invested tens of thousands of pounds into one of these sports!

I feel sorry for those that did.

Unless they are of the naïve and making like the proverbial Osterich.

I find it absolutely ridiculous that no one seems to think that Seb Coe knew everything that was going on in athletics. I find it totally implausible that he was oblivious to what was going on and even not involved.

The man I ran through on this blog fit starting something extremely stupid and without a clue of his own career in comparison to good claims. Though I struggle to remember the specifics as is often the case with me. Annoyingly!

EDIT: Oh it seems there were no less than eight sports that have had scandals in recent years and I totally forgot about cycling, lol. Also found that Tennis has a body called the Tennis Integrity Unit, well that is laughable.

Tennis match-fixing ‘a secret on the tour everybody knows’ –

The eight sports with corruption scandals –


Well it’s been a strange few days.

First off was the recent and quite peculiar series of sad deaths, each one more surprising than the last.

David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Glenn Frey and now Leslie Nielsen. Two musicians and two actors. Strange. All in quick succession. Alan Rickman was the biggest surprise I have to admit and didn’t think he was the same age as Bowie.

Damn fine class acts, all of them. A real shame and a real loss.

As I was speaking to a friend about the deaths I remembered something I had read somewhere.

A few years back long before I started my blogs I had a conversation with him about climate change, or global warming if you prefer? I explained that many of the claims were ridiculous, unsubstantiated and likely impossible to prove. I also said that not only is man not responsible for the planet warming but I also explained that it’s highly likely that if you were to get the co2 levels back to normal this could very well plunge is into a new ice age. Because we are very long overdue one and something was obviously preventing it.

I explained I had believed this and told friends this for many years, likely well over a decade.

They disagreed with me.

I reminded him of my explanation way back then and stated that I had indeed just recently read a report by scientists somewhere starting as such.

All that intelligence, all those resources and all the other support?

It’s times like this I really feel my skills and abilities were wasted away over the years while every now and then someone would come along to exploit them only to then think they knew better.


There is a list.

Those claims would be in the archives of this very blog, along with many other predictions, theories and factual events only to pop up in the media somewhere in identical or mirrored form.

Well that’s one thing finally been realised. Now they might go back to the drawing board after spending years wasting money trying to make their names famous or get screen time or even a series on TV?!

One can only hope.

I wonder how long it will take for the rest of my predictions, theories and factual elements to get realised in a wider scale?

If and when that time comes we might actually start getting somewhere when it comes to change for the better and actually progressing and evolving as a species?

Instead of this two decade long slumber we have been in which has been completely stationary for the last 6 years or so.

That’s damned father time, he has a great deal to answer for!


Carbon emissions ‘postpone ice age’ –


It has not gone unnoticed by me of the troubles that have been brewing because of immigrants entering European countries.

I did see the reports of the despicable assault on women that went on in Germany and the link to one of these reports is provided below. But I stated ‘European countries’ and did not single out Germany alone.

As if to prove me correct in a disagreement I had with someone several years previous that was to cost me dearly…something has been going on in Sweden, of all places, too.

Except there the Police have been covering it up it turns out.

Reason given?

The same stupid reason that morons in local government here on the UK would use that only serves to price that left wing people only believe you should have freedom of speech if you say the same things that they do! ‘We did not want the Democratic political party using it politically’?!

There are sooo many things wrong with this statement that it’s simply not true! That’s forgetting the obvious that you have now only served to make the very thing you claim to be avoiding now ten times worse. How you could ever think it would be any different and you had to have many dying cells within what you call your grey matter.

Secondly … well would that then mean that other political parties have different rights than the ones you don’t agree with?

Would these people have then persecuted Germany for deporting people or anyone else for that matter? While all the time hiding the exact same issues in your own country?

Had they thought about the message they was giving to their own nationals by covering this up?

It sounds to me that before long many in Europe might know what it feels like to be a British person living in Britain? I can only hope.

The shocking thing is this isn’t the odd individual doing this or even a small group of two poor three but dozens and dozens. Working together to do this. In several different cities. In Germany alone! Now you don’t think that the entire criminal elements almost knew each other in each location and all went out on the same night together? No, no, no we are talking mathematics here. I imagine it will turn out there are many large groups in each large city.

I also know that these groups will have nothing to do at all with the groups that were the only ones people were worried about. Radicalised Muslims with terrorist intent. These are so driven with their goals that they would not be stupid or think enough to go parading around in full view of everyone and all the surveillance cameras. No, no, no these are just ones that think they are superior to other nationalities despite the fact they possess little to no grey matter at all.

I know this because I’ve had to deal with several of these idiots and cannot shake this worry that I may have to again at some point! I dearly hope I don’t have to do it again because next time it won’t be from afar while controlling everything. I did that and I posted and published that and no one anywhere had learnt a damn thing.

If there is a next time it will be very up close and personal and I can promise everyone on that fact. If it’s the last thing I ever do it will be worth it. Though that won’t be obvious until much later afterwards and unlike some morons, no one whose innocent would get harmed.

That’s provided, of course, that it does not go ‘belly up’ in a very serious way in one or more countries first.

And that’s why what the Swedish Police did was absolutely brain dead ludicrous. Because when you keep brushing things under a carpet the trouble is the lump keeps getting bigger. Eventually someone will notice the lump and look or someone will see something being swept away and look and find it all.

When this takes place and there is enough of the farm secrets to be revealed the backlash can and will be proportionate to how much they have been kept in the dark. Or how bad the message comes across that you don’t think they have the intelligence enough to know the truth or cone to their own conclusions. Unless they are your conclusions of course!

This is the attitude that had infected and poisoned idiots in the UK that think themselves far more intelligent and wise than they really are. More annoyingly is that despite this lack of intelligence they still think themselves more intelligent and mire worthy a life form than those they are manipulating.

Rather funny. The job does this, the career. But from what I’ve seen only idiots are employed deliberately because they cannot see what is right in front of their own faces.

So reading these things… well they are shocking, yes. But surprising? Well, no. Not really. Only in that these men who think they are superior to women and other races are so fucking thick it beggars belief. To do these things like they did, in front of cameras and so soon after being in their respective European countries. Well despite how thick I have claimed these people to be, bit even I thought they were quite that thick.

No more intelligent to the group of deluded morons I successfully manipulated from 250 miles away.

As fit the ones that were involved in .. hmm, let’s say ‘apprehending’ them. Well they were not a great deal higher up the ladder to be honest!

Remember what I said about employing idiots. Idiots that cannot see 2 metres above their heads and can blindly follow orders while morals be damned. Yeah, right.

At least I have good reasons and a long list of them for my faults, what are yours?

As to this sorry mess gradually occurring around Europe? Well I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse and mainly because these people know that Europe is full of bloody idiots to protect them and that they can carry on behaving however they want.

A year or two from now will just show these predictions to be correct must like many other things I have seen from around ten years ago and longer.

What was hilarious was reading that when it was reported that Angela Merkel was to make deporting immigrants easier there was violence?!

Was this the lefties thinking that immigrants should be able to behave like animals in their own country or the criminal element of these infants reacting angry because they heard they could come to Europe and behave good they wanted?

Pegida are going to benefit from this and I have absolutely no idea whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Because I know little about them.

What you cannot possibly do any further from this point on of to state that anyone’s fears are unfounded and highly likely to happen. Because in the case of the latter part of that statement the exact opposite is true. As time goes in this will become the case in more and more places right into the farthest reaches of Europe and all its quiet backwaters.

Cologne attacks: Pegida and police clash at migrant protest –


I spent a very long time tonight reading an argument that went on forever in the comment section of a YouTube video that points out that gaming developers and publishers have been lying to the public for several years.

In this instance it is UBI Soft, oh surprise surprise, but they are all now doing it.

This chap points out that a game called The Division now looks a lot worse than the videos we were shown a year or two beforehand.

Now before this happened with a title called Watchdogs and as it turns out has happened several times since then. I noted it with The Witcher 3 also.

Now this argument started because of a couple of console fanboys that sounded like children, though one tried to insist he was in his thirties or more, did not like what the guy was pointing out in his video. Except … he was merely telling and showing the truth. A bit like what I do on my corruption blog.

A couple of PC gaming people tried to point out what they were saying to him and that these next gen consoles were not as powerful as they first made them out to be.

Now you may have to look back on here but I certainly thought the specifications published before release looked surprisingly underwhelming and now they are proving to be the case.

PC gamers are pissed because they have spent large amounts of money on vastly overpriced graphics cards that tech journalists and gaming journalists also surprisingly talk up. Added to this another subject I see mentioned a great deal, 60 frames per second and higher, also cropped up.

It went on for absolutely ages, an eternity it felt like. At one point one person pointed out it had gone on for several weeks!

But one of the defenders of the consoles became completely stupid and was quite obviously not taking things on board and kept sinking down to name calling and insulting.

This got so bad and so obvious that another console gamer that realised the truth came on, pointed out he was a console gamer and that this other guy…sorry, kid making out he was a middle aged man should not e arguing, that it has been obvious for a time that the console gamers were lied to from day one and be quiet. Surprise, surprise he did not get reacted to because he could not throw words like ‘PC gamer’ in his face.

Then a bunch of people came on at the end and pointed out just how corrupt and greedy Sony and Microsoft were, surprise, surprise once again, at cheating people and misinforming them about their hardware and then getting developers to make videos of upcoming games that look better than they will in the end to get people to buy the consoles.

I had never even thought about it that way, but then I have never bought a console machine.

There was a point they had missed, though one lady came on to point out the financial crisis and said this was why the both, Sony/Microsoft, elected at a lower powered machine.

The point they missed is that outside of the extremely overpriced Intel, none of the other players had shrunk their chips down as was usually the case every couple of years. In fact it has been more than five years since this last happened.

The two graphics chips makers of AMD, who Sony/Microsoft used, and nVidia were both stuck with the same size chips at 28 nanometres , where Intel had shrunk theirs to 16nm, I think it was, a few years ago and left prices artificially high because they could. Yet you get idiots defending Intel too?! Such naivety out there in the world, there really and truly is.

And that ios why they do it and that is why they get away with it. Because they have too many brainless morons without any thoughts that are their own that leap to their defence when someone says something they do not like. Or thinks for themselves.

I even had an argument with a family member over Xmas, though not computing related but music headphones, I have had three times before because they believe that everything that is stated in WhatHifi is gospel. Even though we had a mutual friend who was into cycling, as am I, tell him fifteen years ago that you cannot go by what the reviewers say because they are all paid to type their crap out. We both had several things that contradicted what magazines we both purchased said.

So much so that with the sky high prices of magazines now I cannot bring myself to buy one because I am actually paying them to be lied to!

However it is refreshing to see that with this video on YouTube and the comments made along with a whole bunch of videos being made about Star Wars The Force Awakens that the majority of people are now realising how far and to what extent this corruption and lies reaches. Even some comments like “is the corruption really that widespread” I have spotted on the Internet and on YouTube. This was when large numbers of people realised that the latest Star Wars was a really bad rip off of the very first film and were asking out loud, not in their heads, why every single reviewer, even nromally over critical Mark Kermode, raved about the Star Wars film and getting in the nineties out of a hundred and fours out of five on scoring. In the USA, the UK, Europe and even Ireland and someone replied “well they were quite obviously all PAID to say that!”

While worrying about expected plans not happening, Christmas coming and going and getting a real shock over the Star Wars movie I had totally missed the fact that several games publishers and developers houses had struck not once but several times with their games! FACEPALM!

I am also starting to wonder if this is why they keep pushing games back now as is the recent fad? I think it may well be down to the fact that they do not want the backlash from gamers … well the ones with brains and free thinking that is?

I myself studied software engineering and the graphical elements to programming. I was well into all the modelling techniques years ago and so I watched this guy’s video with a great deal of interest. He showed to a factual level that the dynamic lighting and destructible environments along with several other things they claimed their games had was nothing more than complete bullshit.

In fact I was aghast at how obvious it was and wondered how in the world these companies like Sony, Microsoft, UBI Soft and EA among others, ever thought they would get away with it?

I also think that they are a few months away from being dealt a sucker punch by Nintendo that neither Sony or Microsoft will ever forget!


Umm Nintendo NX, codename, comes out later in the year right about the time that all of the shrunken CPUs and GPUs all become available? You work it out. I have not read of one person that has seen this one coming! Really … no one!

Maybe then PC gamers can stop blaming consoles for crap graphics? Though they do have a point but at the end of the day its down to the developers or just how powerful their £500 plus graphics cards really are or that they lapped up the bullshit in a gaming magazine along with ten other people and no developer is going to put time, money and effort because ten people were stupid enough to spend over £500 on a graphics card. Or worse still TWO at that price for an SLI gaming rig!

I play all games at full setting despite having a AMD A10-7850K APU that all magazines state clearly you cannot game on and an out of date Sapphire Radeon R9-280 graphics card.

Yes every single tech journalist and games journalist stated that you cannot game on the machine I built, except I knew that each and every one of them was talking utter bullshit. Worst offender was CustomPC Magazine.

So a shed load of PC enthusiasts went out and spent thousands of pounds/dollars and console gamers spent hundreds of pounds to play games expecting a visual perfection that was never going to arrive.

Everyone and their brother who bought along their gran went to see Star Wars The Force Awakens went to see what was billed as the greatest Star Wars movie ever made and ended up watching Star Wars A New Hope. They left the theatres thinking “Err … what?! Did I go into the correct theatre? I am sure I remember Boba Fett in that movie!” Peter Griffin will NOT be pleased! Lol.

So … something seems to be going around now and picking up speed in both the movie industry and the gaming industry? Realising to what lengths these companies and everyone else involved will go to to get your money out of your wallet or piggy bank.

They are also realising what the consequences are of having no accountability.

Funny as I have been watching the old X-Files episodes again for the first time in years and every time I hear the lines “..the law doesn’t apply to these men!” or “You can’t bring these men to justice!” I laugh at now those lines are now becoming common place for all big businesses, while I secretly am worried about it. Well to where it will lead.

Well it doesn’t apply to these company bosses and owners, does it?

If you started up a small business with next to no money and tried their tricks stop and think about what would happen to you if you were caught pulling these tricks?

If someone wanted to do something about any of the fiascos of recent years you would have to band together with dozens, if not hundreds of others that felt the same way. But on the Internet and in life no one seems to be able to agree on anything. In the UK they have been eroding away our legal rights here for years, bit by bit removing parts of the Legal Aid system soon, if not already, to be gone entirely. Even if you did you would likely get hundreds of fanboy idiots standing outside the courts willing to kick your arses for free and risk prison to defend these multi billion dollar companies?

I just hope the situation changes before it gets out of hand.

But then I think … ‘Why should I think that?’ Maybe it is what these morons in power deserve? Just maybe it is the only thing that will stop them from doing what they do, for things to get very much out of hand?


I dare say some people will think they deserve being burned at the stake? Likely most of them are Satanic worshippers anyway.

But then I think deep down we all know that the laws only exist to protect them and not us when we find out we have been lied to, cheated, defrauded and manipulated? Even when some really heinous crimes have been discovered they still get covered up and I suspect this might be why I am still in the dark over what is going on? Four weeks from now I will be pretty much convinced of that unless that which I expected to happen actually happens. Or something else that I describe what my actions will be elsewhere on here.

I know I think that the laws are only for the rich and the powerful. Lol, from all that I have seen, witnessed and experienced myself.

Oh and if you look there are plenty of interviews and accounts from all accused here about denials, despite being proven, and even JJ Abrahams, or Jar jar Abrams (don’t know his surname is spelt lol) as they are calling him, on why episode 7 is similar but not the same as episode 4. Yes mate, all movie goers are bloody blind and stupid of course! Oh wait … to be fair I did accuse Mark Kermode of being that … and he did say this film was good! LOL! On a BBC Radio 4 programme I think it was.

Here is the link to that video about games and the lying…

and a few of the Star Wars fans that were disappointed …

Edit: Oops! Sorry forgot to add in the link to the graphics debarcle and that very lengthy and moronic arguing …

Oh? He has two!

Star Wars fans …


And a young girl …

And an even younger boy, so the target audience is included, lol … quite funny but you gotta feel for the kid, lol …



Terrible is it not? This weather.

Once again for the umpteenth time the earlier predictions of a dry week have gone out of the window as has the prediction of temperature.

“Drier and colder” was what I heard several times towards the end of last week and while it has got colder it is not as cold as they predicted and is still wet. I am also sure I now see rain for at least a couple more days before this Friday too?

In my position it puts damper on everything and I cannot even just pick a destination and jump on a bus! Bah-humbug!

I have spent what must be the third, likely more, time I have remained inside the house, something I am usually very much avoid doing, mostly even one day at a time!

Totally bad period for this to all occur too, any other year but this one would have been way easier and I do find that somewhat typical.

Oddly enough I have also been offered a free car. Was a bit of s surprise that one and not sure how to take it, other then to say thanks. Have to look into the cost of running the thing and it could be a major help with a few things…well I realised once I thought about it. Lol. I am not exactly overly ecstatic about driving again right now to be honest. Probably because the powers that be rendered the whole thing not very enjoyable while being vastly over-priced, for an activity that has been around over 100 years. Yet another area they have tried to force you to give up via price hikes without thinking about how much modern day man and woman relies on it.

A bit like housing then? Lol.

I am also in the middle of some planning I have not divulged on here that involves me acquiring several … gadgets and a couple, or four, I already have. I do need another two and one of those is pretty pricey. Unfortunately. I am also somewhat limited on … well, space. But as things have not been going how I had imagined, thought and planned that they would I am resorted to trying to give it a go as things stand. Probably not the best of ideas but it may pan out eventually? Hopefully!

It will certainly produce many videos and pictures to upload to my blogs and my YouTube channel which recent uploads seem to suggest may well be wildly popular while attracting a whole new set of viewers altogether?

I need to muster the energy to first acquire these things and then use them in the projects intended for at least two to get things…going.

Oh and now I have amassed two reasons I have to attend hospital for and hope I do not keep forgetting?! Damn it. Though my osteopath appointment should be going through now. Oddly at my last GP visit I was asked if I was recording the consultations…do not know where that came from?

The NHS picking up the phone trying to stoke things up between me and my current GP practise maybe? In the hope of me not attending any hospitals in case I get more audio recordings of Doctors telling lies to order?

When I pointed out that many Doctors had lied, he asked if I thought it were possible they just got it wrong? I said “No.” First off I know the difference between the two and am very good at reading situations and secondly … even it it was the case … that then means that I have met 36 idiots disguised as Doctors and specialists?! Just as bad. Besides that and I think I forgot to mention as I do have short term memory issues is that one admitted lying to me and that is on tape. It is also on here!

Unless a cloud storage has closed down and I have forgotten about it?

Weird that it came out of the blue like that, just the same. I have been with this practise over a year now and now that I am on the verge of actually getting them to refer me for the first time I get asked if I am recording?

Seems like suspicious timing?

Maybe someone at the NHS have now realised I have done more damage than they originally thought I ever could?

Maybe I am getting bigger numbers than they ever thought I could amass?

Maybe the realise the ability I have to amass or attract people from different subjects who will then come across the corruption evidence?

Maybe they are seeing my tricks occur in other places with other people and realise I have slowly amassed a small army now using the same methods against them that I have used?

Maybe it is all of the above or something else entirely? I do not know.

What I can say is that it will get worse. Because I am not being distracted by other things that I thought I would be this forces me to not only continue on but to increase what it is I need to do.

Rather poetically this may turn out to be something that they did to thwart me which in time will only be revealed and show that their methods only served to backfire on them?

So it has been a bit odd of late.

I am not in the place I expected to be.

I have been told of things said about me which were, well, good I did not expect to ever be told and from the from unlikely candidates too.

I have been offered a car.

I have been asked if I was recording GP consultations.

Oddly I got up this morning and my back pain was doing something new and preventing me from putting my right foot on the floor for a normal walking motion. In other words I could not walk…at least anything near normally. So that was not good and a trifle worrying. I also did nothing in the previous two days that could have aggravated that. I am pretty sure I will annoyingly also have forgotten it took place a couple of weeks from now?! Damn it!

God things are so bleak looking right now and I wish to God it would change very soon! Things are sooo boring!

I cannot deny that it often goes through my mind how drugs would make things easier, but I always avoid taking that route ultimately. When you often cannot see a way that you can change things, at least quickly enough, within your power it can be terribly frustrating.

This is a major reason I have made it openly known that I detest these overpaid organisations that take forever to do anything while making lots of cash Especially when it’s your cash and taken by default.

That then drives me completely into a rage when they sit there on their arses and expect the cash to keep flowing like it is some pre-ordained destiny.

What makes the western world such a terrible place in modern times is that there are too many people wanting exactly that. Sit on their arses while other people’s cash flows through their front door. As time goes by the numbers go up at ever more differing rates and the gap gets ever more bigger.

Not a joy to watch.

And now I want drugs! Lol.

I keep trying to find things to fill those gaping chasms but something or someone keeps coming along and screwing things up. Sometimes from the most unexpected places too.

Oddly enough if I acquire my gadgets in about a months time the weather could well carry on screwing that up too? Because space is a big factor and I do not have a great deal of it.

I am not perfect and my own life is a large reason why I am far from perfect. Those horrors and rather unusual sequences of time would have to have had a detrimental effect on me. On anyone. In fact many things I have been through would each have killed many, many others. But despite the faults I have acquired I will not allow my own horrors to make me into some amoral, selfish monster that I do not want to be. Or even just become a drug addict or alcoholic, no matter how many times the thought appeals to me.

So I sit here looking at the miserably grey sky outside thinking of how a little sunlight mere moments ago was nothing more than some evil tease to drive me to self destruction and wonder how long it will be before I can actually do something?

I also wonder if I will have the energy or even just the agility when the time comes?

While playing dodge-ball with other people’s theories, egos, envies, wants and wishes. Or just plain old blindness!

What is the odds that it will be pouring down with rain when I have the Osteopath appointment? Lol.

But then again and when I think about it I do have a quite unnaturally empty life and have to cope with the pains and the possibilities of things worsening to the point of complete immobility without anyone else in my life. That is all OK but then sometimes I imagine myself being stuck here, or worse still dead here, for days without anyone knowing. That..does..get kinda scary.

There I go again with the thoughts of being stoned out of my head. Lol.

When you are trying from day to day to be positive and to strive to create things to be positive about and with the lengthiest of most miserable winters on record at the worst time imaginable I suppose it stands to reason that things can get gloomy.

But that does not me from hoping for a day when I can turn that gloom into a ray of sunshine to cling onto.

Maybe being alone for such a long time has a drastic effect, psychologically, on ones mind? That is what I keep telling myself of late.

The only way out of this is to find things to do. Things to occupy yourself with. I am afraid that in the UK and in these dark days that has become increasingly difficult to the point of impossible to do. Weather depending!


Oh well, fingers crossed for tomorrow.