I am in a bad way right now.
I have had all my remaining benefits stopped and therefore getting nothing and this has set off many symptoms. I am emailing yet again to try and get help but I do not hold out much hope.
So I get anxiety which sets off phobias which both drop my already low magnesium levels and set off heart palpitations and that makes me even more fearful because I know if I try to get anywhere I am most definitely going to have a horrific time!
Not to mention just being fed up with this, wanting it to end and taking the ultimate solution over all this. Except my daughter has serious issues, being treated abysmally by the UK authorities and I would not want to be responsible for breaking her heart.
But she also has cancer and we do not know what is going to happen there either, yup .. treated like shit, threatened with court action over nothing, threatening to take her children away and threatening her with homelessness .. while she has cancer. Did not want to cover that in the stories ..
Now as yourself why? Two magazine articles .. one about sexual abuse as a child, one about domestic abuse recently .. missing being held by a grooming gang and that the social services et her down for 12 years and are now threatening to take children away from her and make her homeless while she has four serious health conditions, one of them cancer.
By now .. or long before now in some cases I should be making my own money, via advertising but as I have mentioned previously this mysteriously froze around December 2016. It is now July 2018 and .. well some will already be aware that this cannot freeze on its own.
I have figured in recent months that this is because I tell the truth, speak my mind and predict what I think is coming down the road?
Also we was promised help from both a media agents and a magazine but after five months we sit here wondering when all this is even going to be talked about ever again? We are beginning to think it is not. Why it went from all this talk and promises to nothing at all other then the two published stories out of two dozen we do not know.
Google moved the goalposts on making money on YouTube and one photography guy and camera reviewer lost $2,000 per month. So no, not even political content. Mundane Matt and many others have talked about this. All state that even with their popularity you do not get to talk to Google or YouTube so what chance do I have? So I have not been so keen on getting video, especially in 4K, to upload to my YouTube channel.
This is pure evil and should even be illegal .. you go to your users and tell them that if they spend several years working their arses off that they can make money. Then after doing this and being committed for several years you go and repeatedly move the goalposts?!
Slave labour with a twist is what it is.
Huh, and they claim they are a company that lean to the left? Fuck .. off!
Also and as agreed by the DWP and Job Centre I am still trying to take photographs of professional quality to build up several thousand in which to sell.
Yeah I got stabbed in the back over that and had the rug pulled put from under me at the thirteenth hour, no not the eleventh.
I would have more photos had the DWP not cancelled all my benefits in 2016 .. only realised the other day there are only like a dozen photos, if that, on my Flickr account for the whole of 2016 was because of them. I had previously been scratching my head. Yeah .. that is how bad my memory problems can be.
So there are a few hundred photos missing, though these would have all been jpegs, fro 2016.
Then there is 2017 when they pulled the rug, cancelled all my benefits .. again and then did not help my daughter when I moved 250 miles to help her.
Not only did I lose thousands of pounds of my inheritance helping her and y grandchildren when no one else did but I was also missing at least a 1,000 photos.
Go through the dates on my Flickr account and you can see that I have taken pictures this year but there are periods of many weeks when I have not taken any.
Hell I even managed to get a few photos up recently that I had taken back in April!
I was supposed to be out taking photos yesterday, that was the plan after initially planning to do this Sunday.
But Monday I had no benefits come through and I just had this feeling and spent the day panicking as I have so much shit needing to be sorted out and am not able to do it and have not had one ounce of the help I was promised from so-called friends.
So I just want to curl up and die which I probably will because I have no money at all and am in a room way smaller than the legal limit to be classed as a bedroom and in a house of people that drive me absolutely nuts so stay in this tiny room all the time.
I had previously lost a lot of weight but did start eating again recently, due to the magnesium problem and the pains I get from that, plus trying to get photographs. Though I have been severely limited in my range for these photographs and only on a bike and not on foot or on a bus at all.
So now I have no idea if or when I am ever going to be in a good enough state to start the photography up again?
So you can imagine I am angry with a lot of people and I have spent six years blogging and knowing we are getting screwed, knowing that even the mainstream media are lying and manipulating us and do not know why. Blatant lies are told and facts are twisted about to suit narratives of people that claim to want to be in a better world. Yeah? Bullshit judging on the way that they themselves treat people. Utter bullshit.
It has become ever more widely known that the mainstream media are in on some big conspiracy and one that would normally require your head to be wrapped in tinfoil. But this is in your face and everyone is showing this and proving it on the Internet. It is nothing short of crazy and affects all industries from films to gaming and, in the UK at least, all public services too. Arresting one guy for one thing, locking him up for 13 months in a matter of hours for something else is one example of many.
So I have been waiting for the mainstream media to die a horrible death. There have no doubt been drops in numbers .. people trust them less and less. CNN in America is at such a low that if it was a small company it would have long since gone out of business.
Because they all lie, twist things and are disingenuous at best.
So small people doing videos or blogs about the news for Google have been getting excuses after excuses for not getting paid. They have even had their money stopped altogether. I do not know whether Mundane Matt came up with the phrase, as I have heard others call it the same thing, but it is being referred to as ‘Adpokolips’. Mundane Matt even tries to push his Patreon donations as a result of what Google have done.
Yeah .. a company for the people?
Funny as it looks to be that it is slave labour and the fact that no one has done anything about it is quite concerning. Well other than a woman going in an shooting up the place and I did think that people might start raising questions after that? Nothing as yet though.
Just for the idiots out there as far as my situation is concerned ..
Yeah you might want to ask yourself how certain demographics do it when it is this hard for someone born here? I do not know.
My daughter says they are making everything hard and bloody unbearable and we often talk about it getting too much and in all honesty .. we talk about how we would like it to end!!
Yeah another part to our story that they did not get to put in the magazines and yes .. the offer of crowd funding which has been brought up by two different people and then never been brought up again is .. evil.
So I literally do not know what to do.
But when I saw that video about Google giving mainstream media $25 Million it is obvious that Google want a left totalitarianism society and it is odd that they are against certain people talking about their political beliefs while they are allowed to control and manipulate with the money they make they obtain out of slave labour.
Bearing in mind that I am being harassed and accused of not fucking working .. by my government, despite my several serious health conditions, and morons that have a thing about freeloading and feel the need to come on, leave an idiotic comment and then disappear back under the rock they stuck their nose out from. Yeah no one informed us that the public’s taxes were coming out of his personal wallet or that he thinks that everyone should agree with him. Of course it is also OK that billions upon billions are being wasted or that the public services have not only not being doing their jobs for years but also complicit in protecting criminals of the worst kinds.
I wonder why they are talking about civil war at an ever growing pace on YouTube? Yeah because this is all so in your face that it is almost like the people are being deliberately provoked into doing this?
Personally if something did kick off I hope it would be directed at the real guilty parties and that people do not allow themselves to be manipulated to fight someone else’s war that do not have the balls to do so themselves?
Makes me think of a Roger Waters track from his album Amused to Death that is quite apt in this case ..
The Bravery of Being Out of Range
Yeah so I am sorry but posts and photography are liable to be nigh on non existent for the time being and unless I figure out some way through this ..
.. which in all honesty is going to require some help .. except I do not hold out much hope though I have already had an email reply from one.
The trouble is getting there and back again and if it is far ..
.. unless alcohol might help?
I have to quell the anxiety and phobias .. with these and the low magnesium problem I simply do not stand a chance! Oh crap .. that takes money!
My life is just a whole series of Catch 22s!
Max Yuryev talking about getting screwed by Google ..
The Quartering talking about Google giving $25 Million to mainstream media ..
Woman worried there is a push for Paedophile acceptance ..
Video worried about push by LBGTLMNOP paedophile acceptance ..