I do not nor never will understand how areas of the human body can cause so much stress and pain and yet still be alive?!
I also don’t understand quite how in this modern age we still don’t have the drugs to deal with it properly. Well .. prescription drugs that is.
I awoke this morning after something of a night of.. forget that happens once a week. Friends around and a few drinks.
Had to go out and get a couple of things with one of them last night but .. flutter-flutter-flutter my heart was playing up a little.
Had to go out a second time, oh .. my .. God, this went wrong and more of a boom-boom-boom.
Now I a only mention a symptom now and then for a reason or if I think I’ve made a connection ..
This morning and against all common sense I awoke to very intense anxiety. I asked myself why in the world this could be? In my groggy state I even wondered if it was something else but felt like anxiety?
I had it yesterday morning but not as intense.
But I did push things a little last night .. oh crap, afternoon too when I was getting stuck into some house work to help out.
I just sometimes and myself why I’m getting this because the we nothing really to set it off, unless I have dreams that set it off but never recall the dreams?
Well I had that email from the Work & Pension Committee.
They wanted to use the cut down first I sent them.
But despite it being damning it was only two pages and not damning enough for my liking. So I sent an initial response stating that I would submit a full report, broken down into sections.
After all I only mentioned the current situation.
What I didn’t include was a full breakdown for PIP as well as ESA along with Universal Credit which are the three they mentioned in their response.
Red rag to a bull, anyone?!
A two page report they reacted to and apologizing upon hearing or situation and then stating what they did? ESA, PIP as well as UC?! JESUS, Christmas had come early, surely?!
Now think about a report containing no less than six pages and me pointing out that even this is not complete?
Yeah well that’s what they now have, after many hours, broken up here and there, some copy and pasting and six whole pages!
In it I quoted three quotes ..
“Why does this keep happening to us?!”
“Nothing ever works out for anyone on our family!”
“I told my mum .. I want to die!”
Then I started the report!
The most complete report I’ve probably ever sent .. ever!
There are some conversations that are going to be extremely interesting over the coming days, weeks and months.
A lot of people are going to be hurting to varying degrees over this and they cannot say I didn’t warn them. Not for a moment. I spent years warning each and every one of them telling each it was a matter of time. That guessing the amount of time involved wood be akin to guessing the length of a piece of string.
Despite the negativity of many online people including those that are disabled .. my view is that it’s been shit for soo many people for so long that’s it’s hard .. no .. impossible to see an end to it all.
I see things .. a little differently to everyone else.
I’ve been working my arse off in ways many people couldn’t imagine for a very, very long time and just the document gathering started over 15 years ago, possibly more. It then changed up a couple of years around 12 years ago and then the recordings started around 8 years ago. The blogging started 5.5 years ago.
Many others have not covered as many as I have, not even close.
Many others have not done as much as I have.
Many others have not yet anywhere near the amount of devices I have used.
Many others have fallen by the wayside long, long, long before I have done.
Many others are defeatist.
But with death knocking on my door with no less than four knocks and no matter the amount of pain and suffering .. I continue.
No matter how many times I’m sent to the darkest corners of my mind .. I continue on.
I battle on because I know there is an end game. It’s inevitable. History had taught us that over and over again. Plenty of history books throughout .. well, history. Lol.
Find was what I needed. Time to reach the right amount of people. That was the proverbial length of string. How much time we needed?
The time was needed to reach the numbers and the numbers are more or less easy. A decent six figure number was what we required. Not everyone needs to read this blog .. just enough people needed to visit this blog. Because there is the one factor every single person forgets..
If everyone, or rather the average, is that everyone speaks to one person about shit they read or heard about then you should the figures reached.
But as everyone knows .. it doesn’t work like that.
Everyone had at least the relatives on average.
Everyone has two of three friends on average.
So the average could reasonably be six people but could be as high as ten.
The other factor is the six degrees of separation.
In other words the world of country is a network.
Except there is one other factor that increases the numbers above expoentially..
.. Smart phones!
Since smart phones crashed into our lives something changed. The average of just six people increased itself expoentially. And that’s an understatement.
I know someone with 300 friends on Facebook and and I just even more than that Brits I decided it was too much and deleted a load. A lot more.
So even if we halve that to 150 .. that’s a bloody speedy network, think a ten gigabit connection.
There was always another possibility .. or rather .. another network or .. networks. I unfortunately don’t trust most of them .. probably most of them.
But there was always the possibility .. that .. something else would occur along the way and the very, very obvious is the mainstream news media.
When it’s already obvious that they are corrupt .. you have to think of something else or wait for something else. If you don’t possess the funds for an expensive, major legal battle that left the news media with no choice but to cover it.
Yeah .. didn’t have the funds for that, though I considered starting up a crowd funding campaign specifically for that alone. Never really could reach the decision to do it or set a date to do it.
Eventually I probably would have done. Not reached that point .. yet.
That left .. something coming from the proverbial left field.
This could have been from well known leftist, socialist or community group. A particular type of red political party that was .. well known enough.
Some of these are global.
There is, of course, that which is unknown or unexpected. The ‘left field’ as I tend to call it.
Well that left field was caught by me the other day and .. I’m not really sure how it happened to be perfectly honest. I really, really don’t.
But .. it’s happened.
They want to attack the government, the DWP and their henchman, no doubt?
Well that’s what I’ve been doing. They want a team player. Someone that can help and I have the my blogs and my ever worsening story.
There’s always an ever moving boundary that you need to cross but you never quite know where it lies at any given moment in time.
Your guessing at best but your hoping for the best each and every week. There’s a point you know you have ventured beyond it but you still need that boundary.
To leave the Earth’s atmosphere you need a certain amount of trust for a given length of time.
This is no different .. you need enough evidence combined with enough people.
I’ve long since had enough evidence .. and have a lot more too .. but it’s enough people.
What I got from left field was the .. umm Government. Well .. sorta .. a kind of shadow government .. of possibly a bunch of people after other ones jobs. Possibly not carrying the courage of their convictions.
We will see.
The chance has come and it’s been taken. An opportunity such as this simply could not be ignored. You would have to be a fool not to grab this with both hands. It’s merely a chance to change things before the tunnel exit is reached.
Since finishing this piece which I entirely wrote on my phone with squinty eyes I have now received confirmation of the Work & Pensions Committee receiving my updated and more complete report.
They stated that would get in contact with me if they require anything.
Let us see if they do anything?
I have had a phone conversation with one of my friends in London and a friend of someone up here and told them about being contacted. Both are shocked and over the moon.
My friend in London and the ex-social worker said “Oh, Martin! If anyone deserves this with everything you have done and everything they have done to you .. it is you”
I also told him about the crap HMRC over-payments and now he tells me they did it with his daughter too! He said they are the most unhelpful people on Earth and if this is the case what fucking moron put them in charge of payments for children?! What fucking absolute dicks!
You should heave witnessed first my friends shock and then roaring with laughter when I told him they billed one person £35,000 for last year and another young lady £6,500 for a period between 2008-12 when she went form the ages of 14 to 18 with no children?!
He knows as long term visitors of this blog would be well aware .. I have been kicked in the teeth so many times that they have now rapidly progressed my Fibromyalgia into things I first did not know you could get with this condition and secondly .. I have had them from a few month to well over a year before recently discovering they are far more serious complications to Fibromyalgia I have developed.
Funny then that no hospital I visited or GP in the last 18 months have either mentioned the connection to my Fibromyalgia to me when I reported the symptoms nor have I been warned to watch out for anything ..
Like my bloody EYESIGHT!
Oh and my heart!
More on that to come.