There aren’t any. Or so it seems to me.

Well truth be told there probably are .. out there .. somewhere? I cannot tell you what they are. As I typed that I realised that there will be instances of rewards for actions performed that were somewhat .. insincere.

My word I have a major, major headache right now.

When I started I intended to help others. But the income side of things came up when Google emailed me about this. So I set up a set of other blogs. I already had a neglected YouTube account and started to add to that, to link videos into my other blogs.

Along the way I tried to think up other ways I could capitalise on the growing number of visitors to allow different sources of income. Like a direct advertising agreement over a given period of time? I even thought about producing things and advertising those for sale. There were all manner of things I toyed with in my mind.

God this headache .. I keep stopping and coming back to this. I have something else and a video I want to put on another blog subject but I am put off.

I am also supposed to be retrieving some things from a storage unit, which I have paid a fortune for, had five times longer than I had originally planned and going to lose a shed load of belongings.

These health things really are destroying my life right now .. not that there is much left to destroy and often wake up in a right state hoping my heart will finally give out and stop all the suffering.

Yeah things did not really go according to plan which was annoying because I lost count of the number of times it looked for sure that it would work out.

There was also a number of times when terrible things happened that I simply could never have imagined and therefore foresee.

Stuck in this tiny room a day after a storm and some rotten weather outside, though we do need the rain, this is true. I thought I would do a few posts but this headache is .. distracting and it takes a lot to distract me.

My God life is so damn awful right now and I cannot foresee a time when it will improve either, though I wished I could at least see things improve for my daughter.

So I started out with a load of plans that kept being scuppered by idiots, amoral people, public services, governments and now far left leaning companies.

Still at least I may rest with the thought that I might have helped others?

Well I have helped as well as saved the lives of other people as well as animals but I thought that I could maybe reach more people online. I never realised my early plans to be involved with something that helped humanity, excluding the ones that are not included in humanity. So I thought that going the way of a series of blogs might do something not quite so grandiose but possibly might help in time?

Unfortunately it has gone on a lot longer then I thought and of late I do not feel I will last as long as I originally thought.

The weird thing is I have realised over the years the people that get the greatest rewards and are thought of the highest seem to be the most selfish or evil of people. There are odd times when someone gets a medal because their actions made it to a newspaper, which they could not avoid because there were too many witnesses of said event. At least good deeds go actually get recognition and sometimes even a medal.

Funny is it not that a professional I saw regularly years ago who as actually an Iraqi actually thought I was going to get a medal.

I roared with laughter at the time and said medals only go to celebrities like actors, musicians and especially of they get involved in charities. He thought about it for a moment and realised I was right. The odd self-sacrificing act that had spectators get something. That conversation was five years ago .. he was the only person I told the truth to because of confidentiality. I was passing data to organisations who have since watched me, probably behind the skewed numbers as well as frozen numbers and have even contacted me. He knew this and knew why and because of this thought I would get this damned medal. Funny as receiving a medal was not something that ever crossed my mind once.

My acts must have meant something because a religious man stated I was a warrior of God and I suppose when you believe God is behind everything he must have thought God was behind me and my selfless acts? Yeah .. I am never going to agree with that.

After a few years people were telling me to walk away from it, though they were not forthcoming with what I was supposed to walk towards. I mean when your suggesting to someone to stop doing the only thing they do surely it would be wise to offer them some ideas to an alternative?

I had already created alternatives but ths was going to take time to build up ,, while it was getting harder all the time to produce things for everything else I had going on with my various blogs.

While coming back to this I saw someone comment on a video on YouTube to do with depression and someone had a go at the drug companies and I thought ‘Is there an industry remaining that does not have a problem?


    • Pharmaceuticals

      • Charge health services a lot of money

      • For shit drugs

      • Try to cash in on drugs that save people’s lives, like Herceptin for cancer

    • Hospitals

      • Lie about test results

      • Deliberately perform tests wrong to provide false negatives, did so with X-Ray on my back .. I had already had one!

      • Alter letters .. or do not omit things that were said by specialists on the letters, tests, drugs promised and diagnosis. Lachman’s, Pregabalin and Knee problem all at the same time, same appointment (one appointment in other words) at Guy’s Hospital alone

    • Hollywood (non-UK)

      • Forced diversity

      • A lot of money to produce but somehow terrible films made on occasion

      • Heinous things claimed be be going on every other week

    • TV .. BBC but probably a lot more

      • Forced diversity

      • Trying to force evolution

      • Many getting fed up and disillusioned

      • Those doing it fail to realise the facts, that you cannot force evolution

    • News Media .. BBC but MOST OF THEM

      • Politically biased

      • Lie

      • Lie by omission

      • Twist things

      • Called Fake News

      • Now want to call everyone else Fake News

      • Against Freedom Of Speech

    • Electronic Good Sales

      • Mostly refurbs sold as new items of everything from cameras to keyboards

      • Probably have the cheek to turn people down for HP on this crap?

      • Seen this with washing machines

      • Argos, PC World, Littlewoods, Very and others feature on my blogs

    • Cameras

      • Ridiculously high prices compared to thirty years ago

    • Computing

      • Artificially high prices and advances held back

      • Umm Apple Macbook Pro i9 anyone?

      • Your iPhone getting slow?

      • Laptops made like shit but cost the earth

      • Fixed pricing accusations, like RAM as an example

      • Way over the top GPU pricing

    • Gaming

      • Everyone wants to be paid monthly or create pay to win .. gambling aimed at children with lies and lame excuses provided, labels wanting a lot of money for nothing

    • CARS

      • UK government making it a misery to own and tun a car

      • Though many depend on it

    • Housing Market

      • Nothing short of a ridiculous joke and getting worse all the time


    • Police

      • Cover Ups of all kinds

      • Refuse to do anything about crimes despite evidence

      • Lie about the existence of evidence, saw this at least three times over burglaries

    • NHS

      • Deaths of over hundred thousand

      • Ignore certain conditions

      • Refuse diagnosis by refusing or delaying referrals

      • Alter medical records

      • Alter test results

      • Help the DWP and Local Councils save money by doing this

    • DWP

      • Lie

      • Contract other organisations out to lie

    • Local Councils

      • Social Services not protecting children

      • Like to give out the impression they are protecting the vulnerable and children

      • Refuse help to those deserving of it even when the SS caused the situation intially

      • Quick to offer hep to those that are not deserving of it, just getting out of prison for heinous crimes

      • Lying about parents in reports

      • Altering reports to look favourable to themselves

      • Tricking mothers so that they lose their children .. nice ..

      • Will then probably order the mothers to go out to work?!

    • Ombudsman

      • Do extremely little

      • Remember paid for by the taxpayer


      • Where do I even start?!

      • Conservatives a bunch of lily-livered, cold hearted bastards with delusions of grandeur

        • Not right wing where it should count

      • Labour not much better

        • Leader, Jeremy Corbyn would pander to a demographic that will make everything worse for British people

        • Despite the worst crimes being uncovered including mass murder he says nothing

        • Only interested in power as far as I and others can tell

        • Has legions of demented followers that think he will stop injustices towards all and are misguided and ill-informed

      • No idea what democracy is

      • Lie in run-ups to elections ..

      • Because they never carry out that which they state or at least most of it

      • Make changes claiming to be more fair and efficient which turns out to be a big fucking lie

      • Always shocked and surprised when members of their own public are bit as stupid as they thin that they are

      • Not many vote and they still get in power anyway

      • Many rules and fine introduced do not apply to everyone and target their own people only which has not gone unnoticed

    • Only services I could not say anything bad about is the ambulance service and fire service though in all honesty I am not sure I would want to be rescued .. other than wanting to still be around for my daughter I do not want to be here ..

    • Thanks to all of the above .. fed up living in a completely evil country

  • Secret Services

    • Not sure who or what they protect any more


    • Antifa

    • Hard Left

    • Donald Trump

    • Vladimir Putin

    • Social Media

      • Facebook

      • Twitter

    • Google

    • Apple

    • Amazon

  • What utterly astounds me beyond the actions of those above?

  • Those idiots that actually defend their indefensible actions

  • Especially without inside knowledge, evidence or even research

  • Mostly displaying a lack or morals themselves .. sorry but that is how others will see it

  • Now if I was an evil genius?

  • Get similar people behind me and create an organisation that would get so big, so powerful and with so much money that no one would want to accuse us

  • Be in an industry where I get so much admiration that no one would want to believe it

  • My advice?

  • Figure out what your morals are, stop fanboying like a bitch, do your research ad make your choices and above all else keep your mouth shut until you know for certain or have evidence .. if you are unable to work it out for yourselves

Huh .. another list. With some notes at the end.

If I discover personally that the above have done something wrong I will tell all and I will talk about it.

If it is exposed or reported by others that someone has done something wrong then I will report it and I will talk about it and give my opinions.

Still as I am attracting this new group of people I thought it would be a good idea to show them a list of the groups I have gone after on this blog.

The list is a hell of a lot longer and I could not sit down and remember them all in all honesty. I just thought of the most obvious ones in the private sector and the public sector. Ooh I forgot hospitals!

There .. fixed!

Rip-ff Britain and maybe the world?

There have been times when people have looked around or stuck around long enough to know about everyone I have gone up against. When they do they are utterly shocked.

They then normally realise that I have done this all on my own and with my different .. handicaps .. like short term memory loss, pain, anxiety, depression inability to get around along with my overheating body problem.

Age UK seemed to be fairly alarmed despite the fact that they do not even know half of what has gone on.

But the rewards are few. Not that these never occurring have ever deterred me. Income cut off just as it was due to start paying but this has not deterred me. Contact from someone who may or may not have intended to give the hint that the worked or were linked to the secret services but this has not deterred me. All money coming in and deals and agreements pulled at both the eleventh hour and the thirteenth hour but this has not deterred me. I wrote two books on this subject .. had some positive feedback and was told to go to bigger literary agents who all lost interest. I had literary agents and ghost writers follow me online but an approach was never made after months of waiting. Promises were made and names dropped as far as the media was concerned but all of the promises failed to materialise and only two lesser parts of the story were published in magazines. Two different titles, Love It Magazine and Take A Break Monthly. Yeah well they started out seeming to give a shit, promised fund raising that would be big and then with no contact at all and vanished into thin air.

In all honesty the very first thing I thought I would get is an offer to stop doing what I am doing and delete the blog. I thought this would be their first line of defence but that never occurred either.

Instead they thought they would come after me from every other angle and in the process left me with nothing to lose.

I cannot explain just how stupid that is. You do not go up against someone and put the into a corner and leave them with nothing to lose.


Others I thought of through some tweets on Twatter I was just reading ..

  • Charities & Advice Agencies
  • Other so-called courts of justice
  • Solicitors
  • European Union
  • United Nations
  • European Court of Human Rights
  • Human Rights


That is it British government .. keep on corrupting, colluding and twisting the arms up the backs of ever ore people, companies and organisations!

Please .. no, pretty, pretty please!

Because the more that you do then ..

  • The more that will inevitably come out in due course

  • The more subjects I have to TAG into my posts

  • The wider the audience I will attract

  • The more people I will reach and ..

  • The more I will get with grievance towards these organisations and companies

  • Then the more chance there will be that one of them turns into the proverbial Canary

  • Eventually a big name that people pay attention to will call you out

Yes so keep on doing it.

Oddly enough when I started all this I pretty much knew almost everything was corrupt. I mean there will be exceptions but they most certainly will be few.

The one .. let us say, industry I could not be certain of and had no dealings with, outside of a Mickey Mouse one with no credibility whatsoever, is the British legal system and more specifically .. the courts and its Judges!

I mean I knew the one I was involved with was suspect and I had already been one court and they proved my suspicions and that was HMCTS who then proved my suspicions over and over again. I can say that I had five dealings with them and each time they were biased and very, very obviously so.

What is pleasing to me is that more and more people are realising and instead of pointing fingers at the front line pawns they are now pointing their fingers very high up indeed.

The British government and their corrupt courts are making their umpteenth mistake in all this in that they are continuing on regardless, foolishly believing that they still have the majority of the public behind them and believing their bullshit. Except it does not work like that..

You see eventually and before very long all you will have left and the sandheads, most naïve and amoral people and as for the rest of the population? Yeah .. they went give a flying feck about that.

Well that is .. as long as there is someone around to point out the mathematics and the parts of the mathematics that simply do not count. Because for amoral reasons they were always going to say the obvious and nothing else because it suits the purposes, goals or agendas.

I shall explain ..


That was the biggest clusterfuck in history.

The remoaners thought they would win easily except .. being seriously cut off from the real world for decades they had no idea, and still do not, how everyone thought.

I explain it to people like the following ..

  • Majority voted to leave (obviously)

  • For Just two reasons

    • Stop Immigrants

    • Stop giving Europe money

  • Except

    • Many that voted to remain agreed to wanting the two things the leavers wanted

    • I know because I have seen many videos and comments about it

    • Same comments that had me convinced Trump was going to win when the world media laughed at the idea and literally so

  • This is because it is the British people paying the price

    • This is obvious amongst benefit claimants and ..

    • Obvious to disabled people, or some of them

    • Obvious to many working too

Go to DPAC’s website. Go through the long, long list of members and make a note on the nationalities of the and something will stand out once you get two twenty people or more.

This fact went unnoticed for a long time. I did not point it out for a long time. But then I got speaking to two members and I simply asked them to tell me of anyone who was not white who was a member of DPAC’s site which has thousands, if not tens or even hundreds of thousands for all I know? Immediately they reacted with shock and could not believe that this very obvious fact had slipped right by them and I said ..

“Why? Do you think that people of other races do not get disabilities?” which of course was obvious that they do.

I had noticed many years before .. over a decade before that white people were being cast aside and left for dead in what is claimed to be a leftist and civilised society. Well sorry but neither ‘leftist’, ‘socialist’ or ‘civilised’ can be applied to the UK. Not in any measure because what I always find is people are always caring when the cameras are on or a microphone is on.

Yet day after day, week after week, year after fucking year the government and the public services are constantly being cught out for doing some very immoral and highly illegal things?!

So what gives?

Keep your child off school ad your fined. Child keeps going in late and your fined. Make sure you have every scrap of paperwork for your car or the book is thrown at you. A good one I heard recently and had to look up because I did not believe it is ..

Have to ask your child’s permission to change it’s nappy?!

Are you fucking .. serious?!

I am sorry but someone was paid to come out with that crap?! Really? I cannot earn an income despite spending years at it, cannot be allowed to build up a portfolio to become a photographer despite the cash I laid out in the equipment? And your fucking paying someone to come out with extreme left bats in the belfry and utter CRAP like that?! They should be locked up in a padded fucking cell and wrapped in a snug straight-jacket you bloody moron!

I never understood why my father called the the ‘loony left’ and I wonder what his reaction would be if he was around today?!

In fact I am aghast at 90% of the things that people get paid to say and do in today’s world. Within the UK at any rate as I cannot speak for other nations.

Another one I have been hearing and not actively working on, nor will I ever, is these call centres and the crap they are getting up to which includes tax evasion.

I can guarantee that the tax evasions probably run into several billion ever year but they are going after vulnerable people that have not evaded anything. Yeah .. there might have been the excuse of cheats in the beginning and no doubt they ran with that. But then they proceeded in murdering well over 100,000 disabled people to catch a dozen cheats?! Fucking .. REALLY?!

Why can we not have a right-wing government hat is not extreme as an extreme left-wing government that is also honest and does not shy away from the ‘real’ tough decisions .. not deciding to attack and murder a bunch of vulnerable people that mostly cannot fight back and call that the tough decisions?!

Two words ..

Shameful and utterly embarrassing!

Oh OK that was four words!


Well how about that?

I knew that fucking attending Her Majesty’s Courts and Tribunal Service was a fucking waste of time and considering how much pain it caused .. a painful fucking waste of time too.

I’m now expecting .. difficulties in around a months time but ..

Please note how it states that they accept I have physical problems and mental problems from my medical records, which are incomplete and fucked but ..

I score ZERO and umm ZERO?! Lol!

How can you admit to someone having physical problems and mental health problems and then score them zero on both counts? LMAO!

Bizarre then that the solicitor stated that I should get higher rates on both counts.

Also it proves that someone my daughter knows is either lying or that Her Majesty’s Courts and Tribunal Service is inconsistent and probably more corrupt than I thought.

I also thought that my attending would not make a blind bit of difference anyway and the score they provide only proves this..

What possible difference could my attending have made to these scores of zero and zero despite admitting I have mental health issues and physical problems based on a set of medical records that not only ignored my condition for fifteen years but continued to get it wrong, as I have discovered in the last week!

Funny as I was losing weight from not eating anyway so .. at least I have a head start?!


Oh .. you know not of how many levels of which I speak about pain.

But last night took an awhile turn .. to the point my normally narcissistic .. ahem, member of my family tried to talk to me twice about what was happening. They also knew it had been all night too?! Not sure how.

In what was a very .. very rare occasion they looked concerned. I still doubt they will do what needs to be done if it ever gets to that. Like call an emergency number. Well .. yes it is true I never do that myself .. but not for myself. If it was someone I deeply cared about then yes. I just never call anything other than ‘111’ for myself and never ever do that in these instances.

There are those times when your suffering and even badly so and you just want to suffer alone. It is as if anyone being around makes things worse? Not sure anyone can relate?

I am in pain as of right now .. just less so than I was. I did get to sleep around 10am .. ish. It is 11.43am now and I’ve been awake about 40 minutes and this was down to pain. Quite unfortunately.

I’ve .. something else going on to that’s .. well it’s just so peculiar .. no .. ‘peculiar’ is the wrong word and does not do it justice. Despite the illness that afflicts my daughter currently after another ..

exploratory and biopsy .. she was blown away at these recent .. developments.

Trust me when I say it very much goes against all odds. And then some.

My daughter thought up the exact same to theories that I did.

One theory went out the window. There are .. three theories but .. one? Just too darn crazy to consider. The odds? Astronomical and that’s not even considering any outcome, which I’d also say right now was equally unlikely.

I mean me being ..

I mean .. she being .. all that ..


Maybe at a later date I’ll talk more about that. I really don’t even know where to start with it all and where I would go with it all?!

I mean .. after recent events didn’t seem to pan out could I even use words like ‘kindred’.

‘Kindred’ is a word that my late friend Old Ken never thought would EVER be used to describe anyone associated with me. Ever. I do believe I’ve stated as much within this blog going back to the beginning.

Yeah .. I can’t really ever be accused of ever hiding anything and I can’t be accused of claiming things I didn’t say .. that’s the good thing about blogging. Everything is dated with even a time provided for the posts.

No point in hiding anything.

Oh and .. yeah .. I still possess .. umm probably over 50GB data and yes .. I did think of get the rest up during 2017 but it kind of didn’t work out. What with everything else that occurred.

Also .. though it would have certainly brought my blogs up to much higher numbers than I have now ..

Yeah that’s the thing about maths .. it has a much greater effect the higher the number of monthly visitors when I do start to publish them.

I also have to go through them all because target foolishly I never renamed the files. As there are dozens and dozens of them and with my memory I can’t remember half of them and the ones I do of never find.

Yes, yes there are certainly dozens were I am told more lies .. but which lies and where they are?

Maybe this year at some point I’ll get around to sorting then into some sort of order? If I can get them sorted across half a dozen folders, maybe?

Ooh I was supposed to try and get my medication today?! Damn it! Just keeps being postponed.

Oh and I also wanted to try and get out with my damn camera equipment.

This is heading for a bad ending currently. .. I just know it.

Still in pain too.

Daughter still in pain and hearing now she has to return to hospital after they have given her a second lot of the exact same antibiotic they gave her in the beginning?! Well that is a full gone conclusion then and a pointless exercise?!

Heard from my solicitor over my court appearance that is getting ever closer .. yeeeahh not got my printer and would not have space for it if I were able to retrieve it anyway!

Good God, man. I hope that they do attend this hearing. If I fail to turn up because of my health I am worried that this would go against me, though rather incompetently so if it does. If it has looked for two years like I have had a representative that also does not turn up?!

Yeah like I said .. no printer, daughter’s cancer worse than they thought, pain, anxiety and memory problems getting worse as is my sleeping, heading south for the winter like everything else. I am worried this will be used and twisted so that they can get what they want.

I am starting to wonder who you would complain to about the HMCTS before I have even had the court hearing?!


I think what I do hear others should do .. just to see how their own situations have panned out.

It is a chronological list of major events and how each one turned out and remember I am now 49 years old in 2018 soo .. imagine how this would be like for anyone at school now?

  • Nursery School I do not recall

  • Primary School .. mostly OK

  • Secondary School utter shite .. left way early

  • Youth Training Scheme .. yeah up and down

  • Working for Someone supposed to start his own business .. yeaaah did not go to well

  • Break UP and Family Court

    • Yeah shit and my daughter paid the price just as I warned them she would and far worse than I said that she would

    • Daughter was abused which started while under age and I was kept away by the evil ex and the authorities .. still doing that TODAY and I was DRIVEN AWAY

    • There is a catalogue here both longer and worse than mine, see ‘M’ I can admit when things are worse than my life?! LOL!

    • This is something that itself will come out in various formats later this year ..

    • If that effing agent does what they have promised?!

    • Contracts were signed and they literally said they had to prepare for a serial

    • So their sudden quiet of the last few weeks is looking highly suspicious

  • College to University

    • Court case over my daughter while I was doing this

    • Break Up with another relationship with no considerations from my partner

    • Forced out of my flat and back with grandparents

    • Another relationship with violent and emotionally unbalanced woman

    • Grandmother died

    • Uni stabbed me in back reducing my degree from a damned good Upper Second, First for my THESIS and 7 B+’s, for no good reason

  • NHS ..

    • Failed me over twenty years

    • Refused to diagnose my Fibromyalgia for 13 years of ACTUAL asking

    • I diagnosed my Fibromyalgia

    • Then refused to diagnose that without trickery from me

    • Omitted a knee diagnosis when they diagnosed my Fibromyalgia at Guy’s Hospital

  • DWP tricked me and lied to me dozens of times, took disability away twice

    • After agreeing to me starting a business Job Centre/DWP/NEA they then cancel all benefits after saying they would not .. just as I find out my daughter is victim of domestic violence and later that she also has cancer

    • Not allowed to do unpaid work or volunteering

    • But remember their official lines in the TV News? “We are helping people into work!”

    • Except .. only the work they decide you can do!

  • Local Council’s refused housing five times or more, stopped counting

    • Lied about average rents

    • Refused to state there was a cap on rent

    • Refused to pay full rent for years on end

    • Destroying people’s lives why they stand around in work hours talking about where they are going clubbing next

  • Attacked and DEFRAUDED by BAILIFFS

    • Took well over £4,000 stuff brand new for £500 parking fine

    • I knew nothing about parking fine till standing

    • They sold one of five items for £2,800 and told me they sold it for £400

    • They attacked ME .. recall these crimes were allowed to be committed by a council for a parking fine .. which is worse?! I also did not know the fine still stood

  • Father and Grandmother both died of Fibromyalgia complications .. completely missed, thank you all once again National effing Health Service

  • I try to go into business partnerships with wankers several times which fails because of their egos

  • I tried to do voluntary work in the hope that would lead somewhere but told no by the DWP because your not saving them money

  • Only family members and friends I could talk to have all since DIED

  • Only one that regularly looked after a friend who slowly died, ‘Old’ Ken Bunn, of kidney cancer .. no health people at all .. not once in many weeks, maybe months?

  • Only visitor was hiding Ken’s spoons so he could not take his Oxycodin, then begged me not to get her fired. Some African woman with the accent to match who could not even pronounce Oxycodin nor explain what it was for.

  • The court HMCTS has fecked me over three times during al the above too .. meaning where it matters no court wins .. except the ones where they tried to do me for council tax and refusing to pay for faulty and refurbished equipment

    • Argos, PC World, Amazon along with Littlewoods and Very Catalogues all supplied me with refurbished and faulty goods they claimed were brand new (during all the above)

  • Job Centre lied to me and tricked me .. leaving me with very little money

  • Then had to help my daughter and so I moved 250 miles north

  • But PUBLIC SERVICES NHS, DWP, LOCAL COUNCILS refused to help her despite

    • Domestic Violence

    • Fibromyalgia in mother

    • Autism in two children

    • CANCER

    • Cancer was found in first of three lumps looked at, still awaiting others being looked at?!

    • now refusing to pay 75% of the rent they only declare AFTER moving .. because of the domestic violence

    • No one she can rely on ..

    • One single evil and selfish thieving relative who is unsafe to care for hamsters, let aloe children

    • This story spans twenty years and is supposed to be covered by someone else at some stage ..

    • Contracts were signed and the actions from these contracts are somewhat late at present with the only response last time being ‘scheduling takes time’.

    • My inheritance slowly vanished while I was there for four months and then came back here as I had no choice .. was devastation with anxiety attacks, self harming (yeah that became a thing) and needing to sell my car now

  • Guess what would happen if I approached ANY Local Council to be housed?

    • Despite my Fibromyalgia and my chest and heart issues

    • Despite the fact I also spent my money on my family because another Local Council, DWP and NHS did not

  • Guess what I do not have with the NHS right now?!

    • Oh and you do not even WANT me stating what they have just done to my daughter’s closest friend that had my daughter both sobbing on the phone and disgusted with the NHS and another hospital. Not for me to disclose unless they ask me to

  • And DWP about to appear in court with

    • After well over a year and likely over 18 months of waiting

    • I think it was October 2016 I first sat with a disability solicitor? So the disability stopped well before that date

    • All this helped by that one single assessment by Atos that was full of shit

      • All the wrong questions

      • Questions missing and not asked at all

      • Nothing regarding mental health, despite my condition causing over a dozen areas of pain AS WELL AS mental health issues

  • Stuck in a 6ft by 9ft room on a house where someone believes their mild epilepsy is more important than someone else’s cervical cancer?! No, really.

    • Had a social worker friend roar with laughter who knows what they are like but was also seriously disturbed by it also. Stating that they needed professional help

    • He also stated how wrong it was that I had to deal with that while I had everything else and this person’s personal agenda to state as fact that their lives are worse when everyone else’s

      • Never been homeless

      • Never had even a serious illness, let alone cancer

      • Has fallen out with every friend and family member over this, often for GOOD but still do not see themselves as a problem

      • When I did talk for the first time in a week, after the epilepsy is worse than cancer statement, I showed them the email about Doctor’s taking money t not refer and they say the word ‘epilepsy’ within 30 seconds

      • Trying to single out epilepsy because of their oh so obvious agenda I have to then get stern and state .. “This is NOT about epilepsy .. it is about EVERYTHING and obviously affects the whole country. There are thousands of health conditions .. not just epilepsy”

      • They know how everyone reacts but they always do this every single effing time and even when you only give them 30 seconds because your going out!

      • Sorry .. rambled on there .. if you had not guessed it and your eyes started glazing over .. thank you once again NHS for missing something else that has added to the fucking misery of that which is my life which also affects many others

  • Google fecking me over for over a year

    • Google’s Adsense been blocking my ads for two reasons ..

    • A misplaced comma in the tag/label section

    • Their software not working and two dozen ads I did not know was there!

      • Their browser and page was NOT showing me ANY ADVERTS

      • So I have bee unwittingly adding ads on top of ads when they were not showing

      • My adverts have been off for over a year

  • Don’t even get me started on all the Ombudsman of the above

    • There are dozens

    • Some industries have two or more each

  • Oh and I have not even mentioned TWO Police Forces (see? Memory?!)

  • Not gone into the courts in detail either, like HMCTS for instance

I whacked this out, so to speak, quickly and without thinking about it. I think it got a bit out of hand and no doubt despite going chronologically I have forgotten things.

Yeah you better believe it and I could have gone on about one potential business partner becoming a stalker?! Yup .. better believe that too.

I could have goe on more about the recordings, the lying and the falsifying of evidnce within the NHS and that I had been told by a GP what the NHS and the Trusts were up to FOUR GP SURGERIES BACK and around six years go. Maybe seven years ago? Maybe eight years ago now?

That was Doctor Huq. Since she told me that I had two Dr Kumar’s. The moron Dr John Gubbay who tried to say I was mad and when that failed stated I was violent with the GMC’s help. Then a Dr Andrew Thievendra and I had him for over two years before he left and I was under his brother Dr Alex Thievendra and also see their father. That was all before registering with the Devaney Medical Centre in Birkenhead in October, ish, 2017.

So yeah .. it was a bloody age ago when I was told what the NHS were up to. In FACT I was only having confirmed by Dr Huq what I already either knew or suspected.

Now for those I suggested doing the same thing I did above and thinking about each case? Some might not have much of a list and I envy those that have short lists. But some will be similar to mine while some might be a lot longer, though I stagger to believe that will be a big number but I do not really know. My daughter probably has a longer list already and she is only 25?!

Now consider what younger people will now have to go through? Your children or grandchildren for instance? Can you afford to go private for all the above to assure their safety? Or will you just ignore the facts, choosing to believe if you do not accept them then they do not exist? That is until something goes wrong and you realise later you could have done something about it?

Over five and a half years and I the hundreds of thousands of visitors and I wonder what percentage of them only considered themselves?

Only cosidering themselves is also something I have accused this nation of who have gradully been pushed this was due to the politics adopted in recent years.

Oddly many of the overpaid celebrities seem to view the current crisis as a way of pushing this agenda even further. Almost unbelievably they are pushing for this at the wrong end of the sales?!

Wow .. I just relaised that the very last two episodes of one my my all time favourite TV series is currently on Channel 4 and I actually have a picture?! This is the Fraiser episodes part 1 and 2 and .. I never got to see them!

My bloody God! Laura Linney, Richard E. Grant and Robbie Coltrane are all in it?!


Now the last one is about to come on and I find myself wondering that what with the revelations of late how many people I watch on TV have been guilty of one thing or another.

Britain has had sudden successes in sports for the first time in years in like athletics and cycling and even today there is yet another accusation and talk about people getting up to stuff.

When we suddenly went from zero to success in some things I could not help but wonder if there was a little .. help? Lo and behold there then follows whispers and talks that eventually get on the TV News.

But some lowly no one with a humble blog trying to do the right thing, be factual and tell the truth and have struggled for five years to get the numbers up ..

.. do you know that just the other day when I told someone how to SEARCH for my blog, because websites being messaged are mostly banned, they complained that it was with Google’s Blogger and did not like blogs hosted by them?!

Huh? Would you believe that in Frasier everyone ended up happy from what is a sad ending? Even the crippled father, Martin Krane, ended up meeting someone that loved him and they got married?! Yeah .. like I said I never saw the endings and not even sure I saw anything of the last series. Ask me how this was and I am not even sure I can give you an answer. Might put it down to memory problems and all of the crap above.

Yup ten to fifteen years to see the conclusion of one of my favourite TV series and I even used to watch Frasier in Cheers years before his spin-off. Could not believe it would work when I first heard they did a series but look how that went?!

A shame real life is not even like Frasier where there are people that give a crap.

Jesus, I cried at the end of Frasier! Must be that I have seen the show so many times over the years and even repeatedly. That here I am twenty years or so after I first started watching it and it was kind of sad. Or maybe it is everything else that has been and is going on? Yeah probably a combination.

I have been feeling down lately and things are dragging at which is not helping. I am annoyed that my condition seems to prevent many things .. even doing the things I want.

I fact despite knowing this for a number of years it has never been more apparent than it has been of late .. compounded by the evil actions of this and previous governments. Had they not done half of the things they had I would be quite successful by now. In fact long before now.

So all those scores of people that stated that I should be a millionaire with everything that I know, am capable of and I have done .. will finally be able to say “at fucking last!”

Except the government either like to think they know better than everyone else when they do not, clearly, or they just do not care about lives and like playing by the numbers and, well more or less, gamble .. with people’s lives. Even when those lives and singled out and pointed out they still carry on with the same evil and deceptive crap. And they like to make us the ones to look like common criminals and not worth caring about?!

Yeah except for one small little bitty tiny detail .. the last time I checked and except for a tiny percentage .. we are all human!

So looks like a shit load of human right violations, does it not? Towards a family with four cases of disability and cancer one of which is currently homeless, with a disability, and five which are being threatened with homelessness.

Combined you would be hard pushed two find a single story as bad as these especially when you have two running in parallel soo .. where IS this media agent that admitted that this whole thing was staggering and completely shocking?! Hmm ‘where’ indeed? A visit from government, anyone?

He contacts every single day for like a week or two at the most and then silence for the next four weeks. How does that work exactly? Is is this I have been keeping quiet for the last six weeks .. because what was supposed to take place in as little as a week we are wondering what is going on six weeks later. “I might go quiet for a little while” he said at one point. Yeah well no one goes on holiday for a whole month and says “I am going on holiday for a little while”! Lol.

We decided to give it to the end of March but it is proving to be hard. You cannot do anything or repair anything while your waiting and you still have the shit to deal with, the proverbial wolves at your doors and public services making your lives a living hell .. purely because they can and get aay with it.

I told you long ago on here that getting rid of Legal Aid was getting rid of everyone’s basic humn rights.

I told yah so.


It is difficult o describe fully the situation I find myself in presently.

My second cold, after more than three months of Aussie flu, and stuck in between places .. even if one is death, also in a lot of pain .. due to the place I find myself trapped in.

My back is in absolute agony and I have been leaning with the small of my back pressed into some banisters while I press back hard trying to free something up. Desperately trying to free something up in the hope that it eases the pain.

I am in a 6ft x 9ft room and with nowhere for a seat and barely enough space to place my feet on the floor. It was not supposed to be this long. I should have really left here a couple of weeks ago. So I have to sit on a bed with no back rest. In my desperation I have been thinking of getting the bed out and placing a sofa in here as I would do anything to ease this pain. Trip to the chemist coming up if this does not improve in an hour or so!

I received a package from my solicitor, just some files attached they received from HMCTS?!

That was a bummer! I did not really expect it to be anything but after I opened it and after the disappointment that there was no court date supplied I then realised that this could have been a letter than answered my current prayers! It could have stated that the court had already decided to re-instate my PIP benefit, pending a court hearing. In my view any court hearing would only really serve the purpose to decide upon any damages. Any medical notes received would be sufficient enough and I find it strange that they would insist that disability people attend a court hearing. If they barely take notice of Doctor’s letters, they did not previously, what possible input could the patient/claimant provide?

Yeah that has long since been one of the odd things about all of this. You provide letters and evidence that is then totally ignored but they insist on your presence?! Talk about adding insult to injury? Do they get some kick out of you being present while they then kick you in the nuts once more?

Bearing in mind that I had now had three meetings with HMCTS and not one of them has been successful but .. if I was trying it on the first time I would have to be completely stupid to then go back for two more bouts kicks to the gonads.

I currently feel like I am undergoing a period of torture that has changed from one lot of torture to a completely different set of torture.

This time the tool of effect being that of physical pain after a period of mental pain.

I really cannot seem to win, find a way of winning or even see an avenue towards a method of winning right now.

Oddly those that are tasked to help and those that have a go at others for taking too long themselves .. seem to take too long.

Go figure!

I do tend to be suffering mentally but more of the hair pulling variety and the odd thought of walking in front of a bus rather than physically harming myself, at least not lately.

So we have Ofsted in focus right now and HMCTS possibly positioning themselves in the area of focus?

Well bully for me!


Well I have been missing the odd report.

I was kind of tied up, with pubic service failures and gathering evidence trust me, for four months and busy for six months before that. I still kinda am .. or at least have things to achieve but I am pacing myself. Due to memory and health issues.

So I recently posted articles about PIP being re-reviewed, Atos being found guilty of lying and a few others.

Oddly I came across a report on Disability Rights UK’s website where it states that MP’s ‘find’ claimants are ‘mainly’ satisfied with PIP & ESA assessments .. but there are problems.

Out of dozens of people I know only one has not complained but he is the only one that has not been assessed in recent times and therefore .. STILL on DLA so is ruled out. That means that 100% thus far disabled people have complained.

What I hate about the article is it seems to be portrayed as it is a fact. Like there is nothing wrong with assessments, or at least very little which can be expected of anything like this ..

Anyone that has been here regularly knows I have not trusted charities in a very, very long time.

Also and on the same page there are links to two articles on the Disability News Service’s website that contradict this report?!

‘Data shows multiple complaints against SCORES of Atos assessors’ ..

And to add insult to injury ..

‘Nearly one in three Capita assessments flawed’ ..

Then I would like to point out a particular court appearance I experienced with a biased judge called Judge Mark of the HMCTS ..

  • Explained ..
  • I did not attend assessments as there were between five and forty miles away
    • Later found out they had assessment centre two miles away
  • I did not travel five to forty miles because everyone knows they lie and well documented and reported as such online
    • Now being reported on widely and nationally so
  • But three very lame and amateurish attempts to label me as a liar
    • All failed, none mentioned in report all of which on here .. I think?
I have no issues posting and publishing things because I have nothing to hide and am honest about things that occur. No point in being dishonest and .. well you would soon get caught out and the HMCTS, DWP, Atos, Capita and Maximus all seem to have forgotten one simple rule followed by one fact ..
  • Liars require a damned good memory
  • Due to Fibromyalgia and Fibrofog my memory is shite
Need anyone say any more?
Maybe, why so long when I have pointed out the facts for several years?


Do you know the trouble I find with all advice centres and solicitors even?

Oh and you can add in ombudsman in all this, governing bodies and the political opposition parties that include Jeremy Corbyn ..

They do not read all your letters and all your emails reports.

Do you know what else they do not do?

Do any fucking research and after years and years of people being murdered they come up with just a few cases.

YouTube is a good place to research so I will do so once again what so many have not done for years before me to date.

Here is a long list of YouTube videos regarding the DWP, Atos and even one Atos staff member admitting that I tried to tell people over and over again that Atos only do what the DWP tell them to!

All I kept hearing was that if the DWP knew what Atos was doing they would get rid of them and it would be all over .. I said, “Like feck it would!”

Of the videos I have linked below I have seen .. ONE. I have not seen the others .. speakers do not work and .. well I do not need to listen to them. I know pretty much what they are going to say and it is damning.

Worst of all look at some of the dates .. note that I think most of these were about Atos, formerly Atos Healthcare and a French company based in Paris that was masquerading as a British company.

Now consider there are three others added to this list which was previously just one?! One that got caught out and the Tories said they was going to get rid of .. even Nick DeBois lied toi my face and told me they had discovered what they was doing and were getting rid of them .. ooh did I mentioned I have that on tape, figuratively speaking? Oh dear. But they went nowhere and another three organisations just like them added to them?!

Now you see the news media reports about children and people starving!

Yeah well sorry mainstream media like the BBC and ITV News but you are partly responsible and you have been paid millions upon millions while I have been trying to raise awareness of this for free and I have had no thanks at all.

I even tried to tell about this 6 years ago and you did not even flinch .. not so much as an acknowledgement. Now you look like the proverbial white knights .. now that it has all gone wrong like I predicted it would over 6 year beforehand. I started blogging in 2012 and I contacted all tabloids .. ALL tabloids and TV News Media groups back in 2011. Maybe even earlier actually? Yeah I still have the sent emails, LMAO!

Grand scale crimes against a large portion of the British public while stealing money of the rest of them to commit these crimes while the proverbial books are thrown at people breaking the law just to survive or feed their children.

Where does it stop and when does the British law stop being warped into something far more sinister and beyond recognisable as a joke any more?

Consider this is just a small percentage of videos. Consider that those that record their assessments, umm .. like I did, would only be a tiny percentage. I can assure you that if you look my number of just over a dozen could very well have a third figure to it. Consider too that those that had a similar experience but did not record their assessments could have yet another figure or two added to that.

So what are dozens could very well be hundreds of videos that could be thousands or tens of thousands of similar assessments.

Yet HMCTS were ot interested in this widely known fact .. now was they interested in the fact that theu tried to send me 40 miles away or further when they had a building a mile from my house tat had been there several years.

Yup Judge Miss Mark and the HMCTS are just as corrupt and selfish as the Tories, DWP & Atos and sit their like lords while they steal far more of your taxes than the accuse disabled people of doing.

Oh the irony!

So .. here are one or two of them … LMAO ..



What you are about to read I typed out a few days ago. I then decided to hold off for a few days so that my … predictions would be more accurate.

During this time something has come up. Well … to be accurate TWO things have come up both of which were quite unexpected. Very unexpected. Then there is kind of third thing indirectly linked to these two which was … expected yes … but not when I thought it would and around 6 weeks sooner than predicted. Though it was exactly as I predicted. Indeed it was what I wanted and this may sound strange when the time comes to reveal the details of all this.

These are going to make the next week or two very interesting. Very interesting indeed.

There is also something going to take place during this following week and as usual I know what this will be result in as well. Misdirection. Though it may sound bizarre to be told that the person … delivering said misdirection is not behind the misdirection.

These things are … baffling. Not in their nature but in their timing as quite honestly the timing coincides with imminent events that make it look … somewhat … bizarre. Some readers might even think miraculous? Well when it all comes out that is. Provided the inevitable event proceeds as planned, stated and expected then it will all look like it was planned meticulously down to the last detail.

Except … despite my abilities to get thins to coincide this was … not planned. Not really. In fact it goes completely against my scientific nature to state that it might seem like some divine intervention was involved?

I think I just got lucky. Very lucky.

These two things do have something to do with the Revelations’ series. Very much so.

Now onto what I typed out a few days back..

The title sound ominous?

I am into what will be the last month for many things.

The things that I do, the things I have done along with the way that I do them and the things that I use.

Over this next month there will e an ever-expanding list of things that I will do for the last time in the way that I have been doing them.

This will not seem immediately obvious to the viewers. At last not at the beginning nor in the middle period but it will be apparent at the end. Most likely.

Despite some people insistence on when this will happen we just do not know. I am in the process of trying to find out … when it will happen along with just how big an affect it will have.

As I may have stated previously there is a given date of June the 2nd but this is a contact deadline for anyone needing to contact them with a particular interest in the proceedings. One person I know is insistent that this is the date given that means nothing will happen until we are either on that date or at some point past it.

Yeah … I have people who have been wrong about various and many things but the next theory they come up with is put forward with the same … insistence that the previous one was. All because one particular theory they have had has not been disproved. Though it does not cross their minds that it has not been proven either. So I end up just ignoring it because I simply do not know nor can provide any evidence that they are wrong.

The funny thing is that who is right does not matter. What mattered was my plans coming together n a short space of time and at the right time and this has changed. I initially thought I would have to extend the time period of another plan I am working on but it changed all on its own. Partly down to the Easter weekend, partly down to an accident I had and partly down to those involved in the plan also making a postponement. You can also throw in a car accident I was involved with and some interference by the DWP.

Hmmm … the DWP?

Yes … very, very recently I received a letter from Personal Independent Payments saying they wanted me to have one of their scam medical assessments. You know? One of those infamous assessments that are always between around 6 and 40 miles away? The ones that I was instantly decided I was wrong for not attending by a mickey mouse court with a brain-dead judge that stated much in the defence of the DWP but was completely unable to prove any of it, it was NOT placed upon the court’s decision documents, but ruled against me any way?

Yeah … one of those medical assessments.

Did I change my attitude and what I do?


The assessment was arranged for Chelmsford which is 40 miles away from where I live in Enfield.

I did NOT attend and I sent three emails before the assessment date stating clearly I would not be attending. Despite what that idiot woman judge ruled in that mickey mouse court.

Would you like a confusing surprise?

I did not go to Chelmsford … oooh wait I said that! OK next line then? I have been ASSESSED!

Did not mean anything to you? Well it does to anyone that has been following my battles against and proving corruption for a very long time on here.

They have been trying to assess  me for many years and without success but what they did not realise, though I did hint at it when we raged at each other, is that I VERY MUCH wanted to get to an assessment. This is something that the incompetent judge very much missed. It is the one thing that would end up causing their undoing.

I have … people that doubt … no ‘doubt’ is the wrong word. One of the ‘insistent’ absolutely refuses to accept that I have a … reputation. But I said something to him and his wife that made his wife smile and then start quizzing me as to what I thought it was all about. Confused? Well take note …

I am standing in a queue behind four or five other people in a room where there are around ten or twelve people already seated. It is 8.55am and the appointment letter stated 9am and I know I will e kept waiting. I was kept waiting along with everyone else and I was called in around 9.15 to 9.20am. Except …

While I am standing in a queue and 5 minutes early the woman at the desk who was dealing with whoever was at the front of the queue leant her head to one side, so she could look down the queue at everyone’s faces and said …

“Is Martin Haswell here?”

THAT was the bit that had my friend’s wife suddenly express a wide smile before looking at me and laughing and saying “Why do you think they called out your name like that? Probably because you have caused them so much trouble over the years?!” and we both laughed. Nodding I said “Probably!”

What they did not know and what visitors to my blogs likely wont realise, except for really … inquisitive puzzle solvers, is that the entire assessment was academic. But I went anyway. And no unlike the cancellations the DWP made last year and the court appearance I was not … affected in any way by this assessment.

But I went anyway. Did I say that twice? Because I meant to and I will say it again … I went anyway.

I did not need to go … but I went.

I simply had been trying to get them to pay my PIP, disability money, up until my business start-up process finished. A little misdirection intended there. Lol. I am extremely good at misdirection.

But, I hear you ask, your disability money is not affected by anything and it is not means tested and surely that especially as I a going to try to start a business and be self-employed this PIP money could make a huge difference a year down the road? Well, yes.

But nothing I could do would stop them from doing exactly what they fully intend to do. Cancel it … for thee second time in … hmm, let me fink … 8 years.

I know kung fu. Oddly I ended up telling the assessor that! Lol.

So why did I go?

Two reasons …

To fulfil a promise I made a long time ago. That is reason numero uno.

To set a trap.

Of course the bonus was that I could listen, watch and experience the means and the process by which they assess people. I … did drop some boulder sized hints.

For instance I may have mentioned that I knew about some areas of medicine more than my last six general practitioners … knowing there is a 90% chance he was not nor never was a GP. I may have also mentioned the eight areas of science I am knowledgeable in? I may have also mentioned that I had a degree. Oh and I may have mentioned I was a personal assistant among many other things, to a solicitor … I pointed in a north-west direction and I said “About 1.5 miles that a-way”.

Now you would be forgiven for thinking that I was trying to make them look stupid. You would be … almost right …

I said that so that when the time comes I could prove without a shadow of a doubt that they are indeed and as a matter of fact, stupid.

When that time comes and if you work and pay taxes … you will see that these organisations are having tens of millions if not hundreds of millions thrown at them and with SPECIFIC instructions.

Yeeeeeaaaaaah … I did say it was a trap?! Lol.

I also found out a few things while there … that they had been camped out in this building for 18 months and this will prove vital at a later date. I have also since been told by someone who has been in there that this is a lie. Now that has been stated I will set about proving, using records, how long they have been there.

I was also told at the end “You will get a letter in eight weeks” and I thought, oooh cool! That goes beyond that damnable deadline by about four weeks. I will then get a letter telling me that I a no longer eligible for disability money and that payments will stop in another six weeks.

I kind of cannot lose this one!

That is how I have set the whole damn thing up and if they were standing around scratching their heads as to how they managed to finally get me into an assessment room … lol … they may well do so! But how, I hear some asking, have you set the whole thing up so that I cannot lose?

Well …

It is my fullest intention that when I start this business o’ mine that I will get off all benefits bar one and never go back on them ever again. I absolutely hate the DWP and the government and the way it treats the public that vote for them. Because I can see through their thin veil of lies I know we are treated like shit, scum and are lied to and manipulated. It is not the way to do things and I am offended that people who are clearly incompetent idiots think themselves above me and the general public. I fully intend to change that, despite them throwing all of the furniture at me just prior to the kitchen sink!

Yeah … but … if my plans do not go as intended, unlikely, or take longer than I thought, fairly possible, then I might have to go back on at least one benefit and maybe even two? IF I am not receiving my disability any longer.

Do you see that? See what I am getting at? Because they cancel one that by law and going by morals, they should not cancel I might have to go back and claim for two or maybe even three others? It is a fine example of showing this up as yet another in a long list of flaws with their methodologies and another fine example of a false economy. Which, do not forget, they are paying tens or even hundreds of millions a year to achieve. See? Incompetent. LMAO.

Oh crap … are you worried that I just let the cat out of the bag about the trap? Yeah … no, that is not the trap! Lol.

Do you think I was stupid? Hmm it must rub off then as I was with lots of stupids earlier?! Lol.

I must admit hat if I stop to think about it for a moment … it does all seem a bit odd, I have to admit to that. It is weirdly all lining up and coming together at just the right time. Or so it would appear right at this present time and there are only around 4 to 5 weeks left.

Things are lining up to happen in the first two weeks in June. Unless, of course, I get notified that something has changed?

I also and rather strangely, have not heard from my business dude. I was going to email him until the dreaded bloody Atos sent me that letter and then called me twice. Oooh I forgot about that … yes they also phoned me twice. Yeah I said twice! Lucky they did because I had it in my head that the appointment was two days later than it actually was, so might have missed it?! Phew!

Oooh yeaaaah … remember the mickey mouse court? The one and only thing that went against me was that I never attended any previous assessment appointments. Yeah … that little … detail. Well actually they kind of ignored the fact that they failed to attend three or four. Yes I said ‘they’.

Apparently as it turns out, people working within government-run public services are of a higher calling than everyone else. As someone with an incurable disability you are not allowed to fail to turn up for appointments made that you do not want that are 6 to 40 miles away. When you do not own a car, remember. But … if you work for one of these public services and are fully fit as well as having the privilege of owning a car or having a car paid for by the taxpayer … it is fully OK to not turn up without warning as well as being able to lie and cheat.

At my court hearing I genuinely, despite my suspicions, thought that when I brought up the fact that the DWP and Atos along with all other hired thugs lie that she would say something like ..

“Oooh I know, it is terrible … I could tell you some stories … if I were not a court judge of course!”

But she had no concern for the fact that I could and did prove that I was lied to and simply went on a witch hunt to make me look bad. Had I not been having a breakdown at that time, I am still in the dark as to why that happened, I would have said something. Like pointing out that she was on a witch-hunt and that she was clearly biased as it is OK for the government to break not only laws but be immoral with it, but it is not OK for the general public to do this. I would have told her quite sternly that this was the worst case of double-standards I had EVER had his misfortune of witnessing first hand.

Yeah I deflected the attempts to make me appear a liar but in all honesty that was easy because it is when you do not lie or exaggerate. I had absolutely zero fight in me that day, felt terrible, had been self harming for the first and only time in my life and I wanted to leave that … mickey mouse court, go curl up in a corner somewhere and die.

But I did not die. What is that old saying that is almost always getting quoted? ‘What does not kill you only makes you stronger’?

Yeah what does not kill you only makes you angrier, even more hungry for revenge and even more determined than you ever was before.

I remember that hallway in the Mind Centre in Edmonton where a lady counsellor I had just seen for fifteen sessions had just admitted that she had neither heard anything like me nor met anyone like me.

I got the feeling she was genuinely going to feel like she was missing out on what will happen next and that she knew it?

Yeah … buy you have my blog address, do you not? Hmm … you should have moved by now and set up your own business? I forget … I kind of … miss time passing me by. I cannot recall how long ago our last session was? I remember you said about a months time?

Damn it.

I feel like a coach driver from the 17th century with the most number of horses attached to one coach that has ever been seen before. I feel like I am holding so many reigns to so many horses and trying to … keep control of them all. With a condition that causes the short-term memory loss.

I forgot to take my letter to the assessment centre … but then … that was something that I did want to slip my mind. “Sorry, I forgot it!” is what I said when asked for it. I had ID I was asked to bring in, why would they want the letter? I know bloody why and that is why I simply cast it out of my mind.

Because there is not a letter. There are, as a matter of fact, letters! Why have one you can use when you can have two at half the price?

There has been an air of confidence that has been slowly growing and has gotten out of proportion in the last few months. No, not me! Them. I have been ducking and diving to get myself into a position around the time that this confidence would have grown so large that it would appear like that of a vastly over-inflated balloon. It is nearing that now, will take about eight weeks. Lol. What they have no clue about is that I have been allowing that confidence to grow while I have been sharpening my pin! Yeah … if your the court staff looking in … did you read the part where I was surprised I was having a damned breakdown? Did you think it was over you biased decision?

Yeeeeah about that. No, it was not. You see I had been to two court appearances in that exact same room and I knew damn well how it was going to go. I just did not expect either the attitude, just how obvious the bias would be and the appalling and extremely bad witch-hunt.

I … am … afraid that you just don’t do your research and I have been relying on this most heavily and for many years now. You really should have gone right back to the beginning and concentrated on what I said, who I said it about and what I claimed is the case and lastly about what I said regarding what I would do about it.


Are you familiar with the word ‘ruse’?


Some things just inevitably take a long time and sometimes a very long time.

It is not only about planning, scheming and carrying out said plans … but is is normally almost always about the numbers as well. In fact ‘numbers’ can be attached to several things within the same plan.


See you in eight weeks! Well … when I say ‘you’ I mean central government and the DWP … or … this is you if of course you work for central government or the DWP. Unless of course your someone who works for them but not instructed to look into what I am doing to report back to them but actually agree with me? You wont be the only one.

I think I will shut up now?!



Well I had three plans. Well more accurately as it turned out I had three plans.

  • Plan A

  • Plan B

  • Plan C

Plan B actually had it’s touchpaper lit today. To my surprise and to be honest I did not know what to expect. I did state to the person I met today that I did not expect anything really.

But what happened is I explained about the letters from Her Majesty’s Court & Tribunal Service and that I had several that stated ESA Appeal and several stating PIP Appeal when there was not one and one of each I received several weeks AFTER the tribunal was heard.

You ever had that time when you explain something to somebody and they gie you a funny look and you just know they do not believe you? I had that.

She then said something like ‘No, you already said it was heard on the 30th September. You cannot have letters stating there is another one” and I corrected her with “Umm TWO, would you LIKE to see the letters? At which point her face changed, she sat more upright and said “yes” with an interested look on her face.

She looked through the letters one by one, there are 8 or 9 in all, who’s counting? I waited until she got to the last two and then a puzzled look came upon her face. “Wait, what?” was all I needed to hear and I laughed and said “Told yah!”. She then said “What in the hell are they doing?”

She then sat there stunned when I stated that AT the tribunal, which I was tanked out on, I told the clerk to the court this, told the judge this and they simply dismissed and ignored it. I then said that I was accused of lying on three things and failed and lost because I got on a bus. To go to hospital. At at time of year when it was cold. And it was a Saturday. When I have repeated myself over and over and over again that I have a problem with HOT WEATHER and RUSH HOURS!

Take today. I had to get a very, very easy bus I always get a seat on and then had to take the tube train for about 20 minutes. It was not as empty on the tube as I thought it would be and I could not get a seat. As I stated to a surprised lady no one offered me one either. Did not bother me but … IF I am forced to do that as Ii am forced to go to work somewhere in will make my life miserable it will not end well one day and it will be all my fault.

But that is what they want, to say that I am both crazy and violent.

This has been attempted several times.

I told the lady I met that they used me now being violent, in case I punched someone in the mouth for being rude and pushing and insulting on a bus or train, as me being violent sop wont do home visits. When it clearly does not work like that and they just twisted things to fit their agenda. I told her that you just get fed up with talking to them in the end. They simply do not want to listen and have an agenda and that is it.

She agreed it was very hard and very unfair presently.

I think she may also have spotted the three letters that had ‘Home Visits’ plastered on them where they FAILED to turn up every single time and LIED about each one! I also explained that in the intitial letter to HMCTS the DWP told them I had failed to turn up to five, that is FIVE, assessments when the fact is there was only ONE! I pointed to the three Home Visits, pointed out that THEY failed to turn up and was using those to make it look like I had failed to turn up to FIVE RECENTLY.

She pointed out that the tribunal was not illegal as it was only over me not turning up to an assessment and not over my condition, which was still a bit weird but OK, if thems the rules then thems the rules…

Except I told the surprised lady that I have never attended ANY assessment and that this had not happened before. Had I known they were just going to stop the benefit I would have made more of an effort and gotten someone to take me.

So yeah, Plan B seems to have gotten some traction and I was not sure that it ever would.

Plan A relies on one of two other organisations but I was told not to speak to one about my case any longer and she also asked if I had the letter of apology they sent me. I did and this was regarding the Citizen’s Advice Bureau.

She wondered of the Citizen’s Advice Bureau were the reason for the HMCTS mistakes and I told her she might have a point. She photocopied a fair few letters and document I had as well as the CAB apology letter. They will be contacting them.

My God! I might actually have someone to say positive things about and actively promote on here? If this pet project of theirs woks out they may want to expand on it and I may well be able to help them with this by using my blogs to help promote them?

Now THAT would be uber cool!

And then there is ultra secret Plan C. Hmm, yes Plan C.

I have not talked a great deal with anyone about Plan B … that is until today when it gained some traction.

Plan C absolutely no one knew about until very recently and I told just two family members and one friend I only ever seem to be in contact with by phone lately.

After having one friend do a runner, one fade away and another RUN away I am only left with three people I see regularly. Well … Plan C became a possibility around three weeks ago, maybe four …. I lose count. Despite being aware of this Plan C for all that time NONE of the three people I see regularly know anything about it.

This is for several reasons. Several very GOOD reasons.

So other than the fact I have a Plan C no details will be divulged … this time around. Plan A was kind of a toss up between the Citizen’s Advice Bureau I no longer have any faith in any more for anything, and Mind. I sent Mind an email over it as I cannot go through my counsellor.

But Plan B trumps Plan S, what with Plan B being solicitors … I think. Yeah, I think they are and never thought to clarify that.

All three plans were predicted by me to all take place, gain traction or reveal themselves before the end of November.

Oddly enough I have dropped rather major clues about this to those I see regularly by repeatedly stating I just have to see things through until the end of November.

Funnily enough I thought one of the three people would pick up on it each time I said it but … nothing was picked up on. So I carried on saying it.

This last plan is a bigger surprise than the one I had today. For some this will be effing major in more ways than one and everyone who was an idiot before is bound to say “How the fuck?” and I will state back … “Did you NOT notice a sudden change in me in mid October…” same goes on here lol “Did you not hear me keep saying I just need to see things through until the end of November? Did you not ever wonder why?”

It is kind of intended as a major lesson.

As long as something that is stated is finally carried out. Just like so many other things for the last year or two and my two other plans, it is totally and utterly out of my control. It ultimately relies on others to do as they should, do as they say or offer help. I cannot make people do these things … they simply have to see the light and do what they can or what they say they are going to do.

I have had to wait and wait for all of these things to fall into place. I could not force them and I simply had to wait. Getting this lady on board today was a path that led around the block a few times … but I got there in the end.

Now I just have to play the waiting game to see what occurs.

After leaving the building I found myself scanning along some old Mews and realised I missed all that. I love all the little Mews around London and saw a Tudor style church I did not know existed previously. Even pointed it out to the lady I met.

I stood there smoking a roll up and stared down one particular Mews and I so wanted to stay there in London and walk around these places like I used to do! But I couldn’t do it as tempted as I was.

I got back to Enfield and realised I was way, way early for my Job Centre doobrey whatsit. I then got outside the building and was feeling dead and tired when one friend rang. He is the one that thinks I am entitled to compensation, but I’ll believe it when I am told it or see it. When I told him what happened he was over the moon! Kept repeating “Well done!” before I cut our conversation short and went in to only be told off. It seems in my head I had told myself all day that the time was 2.40pm when it was actually 1.40pm and I was an hour late! I would not mind were it not for the fact I sat in the Town Park smoking for an hour!

After nebing told I would have to wait and me apologising I waited for an hour before I finally got called over. Fair play, it was my fault and I sat there waiting and wondering how in the hell I had made the mistake? I then remembered that they wrote TWO appointments in my book and I wondered whether I had looked at the bottom time instead of the one above it? Nope because I looked as I sat down and the time listed at the bottom was NOT 2.40pm! Lol.

I apologised again, told her I had been to London and mentioned where, which I did not want to do due to the reasons why I was there but she did not know who it was anyway.

Then she realised that I had been on Jobsearch awhile, been on Universal Credit due to a major cock-up and then realised I was an expert on animals and orchids among other things and she just wanted to chat and chat. In the end she was very nice and very cool. Just like the first lady I met that day.

Both calm and collected professionals with voices that gave away upbringings better than your average suburban area. Found out where the second lady was from and thought about asking the first but did not. Forgot. Maybe next time? If there IS a next time?

Sooo … then? It is mid November and aa few weeks of backwards and forwards to and fro and things should be almost there?

EDIT: here is a link …