There are times when people disappoint me so much that I end up thinking ..
“You know what? Maybe mankind has had its chance and it blew it?”
This is 12 hours late. Have had a really bad two weeks .. really .. really .. bad. Its like someone released something in the air or the damn water supply? I have been at odds with a number of people that have been pissing me off! Have had to bite me lip while people have whined about a load of things I go into in a bit.
This seems to have set my emotions off on a roller-coater and my pains in my finger-tips from typing and wearing shoes blew up until pains across my hands. I could not type or even hold my laptop without pain?!
I am in a living nightmare and I pray sometimes for a truck, bus or bullet to finally put me out of my misery as I only have a few tools at my disposal, been hammering away at them and nothing seems to come from them? Though in all honesty I have been aware of constant attempts to slow me down or stop things altogether.
I am surrounded by people who are wrapped up in their own lives, do not help anyone .. constantly bitch and whine repeatedly over spilt milk or some time 20 years ago when they farcking spilt milk.
Sound over the top? OBSERVE ..
- Walked into a kitchen to have someone shouting their head off because the full milk has run out .. yeah except they do not use it and actually use semi-skimmed of which there was plenty
- From a third I
have heard a story 50 times or more in a year, a lengthy story that
involves London and Brighton, of how he has been accused of spilling
- But mere
minutes ago .. going to tell him how a third heart episode was
being caused only yesterday your told
- “Not interested! I don’t wanna hear it!”
- Repeat a story for the first time and he gives you a sarcastic look and says in a patronising way “Yeah you have told me this before”
- Of the 50 times he has told me the spilt farcking sugar story how many times do you think I did the same to him?
- But mere minutes ago .. going to tell him how a third heart episode was being caused only yesterday your told
- By the spilt milk duo
- One of the
above three has caused three heart/chest episodes
- Caused a massive family division .. walks into people’s rooms without knocking
- Thinks they have a right to private information in their own family
- Tells how a son is evil for not telling them how much they ear
- Not talking to their own mother because they wont give them control of her money after she passes away
- Not talking to daughter because she wont agree with her getting control
- If you do not agree with her your right-wing and Hitler .. oddly I thought I was now centre to moderate right but doing a political test I am somewhere near facrking Gandhi?!
- Now .. if you recall, if you read recent posts, I am called Hitler by leftists online too and accused of hate speech .. (yup did state there was narcissistic socialist here)
- The there is
the third person in the building ..
- Has spent years winding one up making them worse .. hates the people in the family that are not related to him
- Every single night for a year now .. unplugs a router lead to the electrical network in the house .. put a HD video on laptop to a second wifi router and clogs up the internet so it does not work ..
- Once has has done this he goes into a cupboard and does not even watch the YouTube videos
- So between 9pm and Midnight every single night I lose not just ONE but TWO routers that are not connected.
- When they are away for a week this NEVER HAPPENS
- YES I MAY HAVE HAD THREE HEART ATTACKS/ANGINA IN THIS HOUSE WITH THESE PEOPLE!!
- I was suspected
of having a heart attack about 18 months back
- Did not know this until I was in a hospital later
- I told them at the time that I could have told them that I had not had one
- I could not say that with any certainty now though
- So trolls .. do not go hitting my spam folder with your nasty comments and laughter because professionals previously thought I did when I knew I had not
- Recent chest events I have never experienced before
- I was nagged on the phone by hmm NHS ‘111’ to go to a hospital in a town I knew as a child that now feels very unsafe and I always tend to get kicke dout of hospitals in the middle of the night .. yeah .. no!
- NHS today? Quickly get you in .. are they dying? Right OK. Is it something we could plausibly deny? Yup? Kick them out to fend for themselves then and do not worry about the pain or difficulty .. don’t care what is I their medical record!
I could go on with the bullet points but I think I have made my point. Except it is not just them either.
I have many things I can talk about but due to the situation some I do not and people just DO NOT GET IT!! So yesterday another mate that thinks they know everything decides to ask me if I want to go off doing animals and pant things ..
- Looking at Orchids and enjoying it it suddenly hits me .. what I had and what I was doing with Orchids and everything I have lost .. heart issues go BOOM as does the anxiety
- This happens looking at Drosera
- Talking about exotic animals
It happens a few times.
Major shite in my life and major health issues but according to people .. I am just supposed to forget about that and do shit .. because ..
- You can just flick a switch the the dangers and symptoms so they wont occur
- You should not talk about things that depress them and only talk about happy things they want to hear
- Except your not speaking in a depressing way .. just talking about it is all ..
- And this coming from someone who walked into a shop .. cried and screamed for over an hour because he got out of prison and wanted his flying hamsters back he gave away because he was going in prison
- For ‘flying hamsters’ read ‘Sugar Gliders’
- Insisted for
months and shouted at me, never fuck off and leave me alone though,
- NHS and GP’s work a certain way when they do not because I did as he requested and the “COMPUTER SAID NO!!”
- Insisted DWP and Job Centres were a certain way .. for months sooo .
- Yesterday he rings a friend up who works for a Job Centre and what does he say?
- Yeah .. Universal Credit is shite mate .. it has farcked everyone up, no one likes it in the Job Centres, a fact I already knew
People have no idea or understanding of how I so long to be around like minded people and even of late thinking how nice it would be to have someone that understood who was also into photography.
The thought of not just getting out of my own personal hell but to be somewhere where my anxiety can calm down and stop setting off my heart and chest pains but also getting back to photography is like an impossible dream.
Trust me when I state that every single morning I wake up is a nightmare and I waked into varying levels of anxiety. I so, so wish I could get that to stop and get out of here.
Often think a lorry collision is the only way and many on the Internet are pushing me that way and are praying it goes that way too.
Because of the numbers I was attracting over a short period of time.
They tell me because of my hate speech, read the truth, because of this blog and the recordings on it ‘Country of the Damned’ and the 90% of recordings I do not have on it.
- So as well as sugar and milk what else do I hear?
- Most common is someone moaning at some other driver if I am on the phone .. so milk, tissues, mess, sugar and bad drivers.
So I have been in receipt of ..
- DLA previously .. then that was stopped for 7 years and finally they awarded me ..
- PIP .. which was then stopped three years ago
- Had been setting up and working towards going self-sufficient for well over 6 years except ..
- My health, the public services, the weather and public services and politicians that constantly kept letting down my daughter .. kept farcking it up
Also wrote two books soo .. I figured that as I am currently unregistered and received no help despite promises from ..
- Mary Ward Legal
- Age UK
Basically a friend thinks things are easy ..
- He thinks I can register with any GP when I have already told him they said no
- He thinks you can do everything ‘Care Of’ when I have already told him that you cannot
- He thinks that you have to get paid and can do so my cheque when I have told him they do not do that any more
- He thinks that
with a dodgy heart, anxiety issues and everything else I can just go
down to a leftist run organisation like CRISIS where he admits there
is trouble, fights, shouting, drug running and other crap and I will
- God give me strength!!
Unexpectedly and after nearly 7 years of blogging about possible global catastrophes that are scientific fact and only a matter of time .. it is surreal that I type this out amidst a running series regarding a very real series of events.
I have spent 30 years thinking about these things and I never .. EVER thought I would be sitting around wondering if doing anything at all is worth it?
What started out as an outside chance in a million has become clearer and clearer and clearer and looks closer and closer and closer.
Now at the moment that kinda grew as what was first the magnetic poles splitting and moving ever faster .. this started me thinking. Then the Arctic blast was predicted and I then realised this could be what causes ice-ages and then started thinking about continental drift, drop in crop and food productions .. farming, and any other things. Would have to happen now that I am buggered health-wise and dependent on things like Vitamin B and Magnesium supplements.
Also thinking about my daughter and grandchildren too. How the hell would I help them?
Apart from my daughter .. and at times my sister no one else has wanted to talk about it .. even the ones interested in science and sorry .. there are no excuses for this.
- Not talking about it is not going to stop it from happening
- It is going to guarantee that should it start you will NOT SURVIVE IT
- Yeah you should really not be thinking about yourself and be thinking of talking abou tit to help your own children or grandchildren should the time come
One things for sure .. if it gets right into the swing of it and considering what I have put here .. and telling you now that you cannot remain where you are and this goes DOUBLE if you live in a big urbanised area.
What do you think the chances are I will be travelling absolutely fucking anywhere with any of the above?
By the time you realise you will have to move there will no no cars, buses or trains so people will have to travel in groups. Yeah I would farcking prefer it if I did not have a shit ton of doubting Thomas type people on my arse for days on end doubting every idea I have like they have done for years regardless of how many times I got I right.
I do not mind someone putting forward a logical argument but hearing something somewhere and just parroting it and claiming it is a credible source when they themselves have zero knowledge or experience in what it is their parroting is extremely .. annoying.
It is why I do not make friends easily and on my own. Those that did listen either moved back home or they died on me.
Hmm maybe people should be a annoying Doubting Thomas? They seem to live longer?
- “No I think your wrong .. that is not going to happen” even though it actually already is ..
- “What do yo mean I am wrong? What makes you think I am wrong?”
- “I just cannot see it happening!”
- In my head I be like “FUCKING WHAT?!”
- Or ..
- “Well you cannot stop it so what is the point in talking about it?!”
- In my head I be like ”FUCKING WHAT?!”
- So I am being realistic ..
- Others are not thinking of getting the best advice to consider helping their loved ones
- And I am the one in the wrong?
- If the shit hits the fan in one to three years time take a wild guess at what I am going to answer when every single one of them calls me for advice?
- Did you think I was going to say “farck off2? Well I would except ..
- There will be no communication by then and I would have arranged to meet my daughter somewhere to get her and my grandchildren to safety
- Bet no one else has thought about doing that .. right?
- Sound out there?
- Yeah well they have just had two major record breaking storms in the US with record breaking snow-fall they are measuring in feet and not in inches ..
- What if you get another two .. they are worse and they start measuring snow-fall in metres and not in inches?
- And yeah .. climate scientists never predicted even snow ..
- Nor did the weather men until the first storm was more or less upon them ..
- So yeah .. I do not think anyone at all in North America right now would consider anything at all being out there
- My main issues about anxiety and travelling is .. people
- If anything happens there will be far less people around .. meaning travel will be less of an issue
- I have been working on a post on just this subject .. the series of events and the psychological reaction fro the masses .. if it were to ever get officially announced
So everyone wants me to pay by their rules, right?
So let us count individuals alone .. that is a lot of different sets of rules now factor in a all the public services who have been moving the goalposts constantly for the last five years and then consider all the individuals that are of the belief that the rules are the same as they was 20 years ago.
My advice to climate scientists and politicians would be this ..
You might want to remove yourself from the Internet and your pictures and pray that you are forgotten because ..
If the shit does hot the fan and with all that grab for money and taxes of all those billions .. people are going to ask where all the help was .. to see this coming and the provisions for the public to survive.
Yeah if I was you there is no way on Earth I would want my face to be seen and recognised and I most CERTAINLY would not ell anyone I was previous a climate scientist .. tell then you worked for Amazon or something, yeah?
Oh my issues and all seemed to be mostly linked are ..
Fibromyalgia, Hypomagnesaemia, Vitamin B Deficiency .. which causes ..
Pain in finger and toe tips, feet, ankles (might be unrelated), back, shoulders and chest along with memory loss, tachycardia, arrhythmia as well as skin issues that require things like Tea Tree Oil, Lemon Grass Oil or Lavender Oil. Or I will eventually get massive sores.
Those oils, it might interest you to know. Are very good for skin conditions and will likely help for eczema, psoriasis and other things? Cheapest way to but them is from those large hair product stores. £5 for like 100ml but you will note it might say 100% pure? Yeah they are most certainly not and will even state they contain other oils.
Seems you can get away with anything in the UK if your a certain nationality or religion while the rest of us get hammered with rules and unfair taxation.
Out of what I have left that has not been taken away from me ..
- Insectivorous Plants
- Japanese Maples
I cannot enjoy ..
On top of that I get bitched and moaned at other spilt milk and bitched and moaned at that I am not the company I used to be .. pleasurable and interesting.
Now someone I follow I have just seen told has gone down on Twitter and someone has not only announced this but tagged in Piers Morgan. Though I am not sure why this is.
Never say him arguing or even debating for that matter. DO not recall ever seeing him call anyone names?
Oh and he only had 117,000 followers which is he relied on these followers financially .. he might very well be getting punished.
On my blogs everyone only read what I had to say and that was how I wanted it. I was told it would be a good idea to start a forum or chat page. Think now he was probably right but I was adverse to the idea.
People might complain that I think I know everything but I first of all do not and I have a very, very wide knowledge base. But a great many people DO actually think they know everything despute NOT having the knowledge base .. are insistent and yet have nothing to back this up and argue about it. They they fucking hate it when they end up being wrong.
They then go straight back to doing that all over again. Many wont read websites, watch videos or eve listen to the theories but they are all experts. Many wont even watch the God damn news because they say its scary and depressing and I tell them they are not even showing you the worst.
It is like watching the Devil who has blinded everyone leading them all by the hand to oblivion and your yelling at them to stop, they refuse to .. blame everything on everyone else and carry on walking towards eventual death.
I often wonder how in the God damn hell we become so effing stupid and so effing blind. If this ice-age or other catastrophe ever hits and we survive ..
- Priority in EDUCATION
- Not about what religion you want to be on
- Not about whether you should be homosexual or not
- Not about what words offend others
- ABOVE ALL ELSE ..
- Stop thinking that you know everything and what is going to happen on Earth ..
- .. based on the 60 years you have been on the planet out of 4 billion years!!
- Get the news to tell the truth and make it FARCKING LAW that they should watch it twice a week!!
Oh and let us not forget the nasty evil narrative following pro-EU, pro-Muslim and pro- Climate Change tosser that hammers mu GAB spam folder every day still, proven biggest liar on Twitter over and over again and ignores the links to mainstream news, the weather channel, the weather news, the YO .. (gave up at this point .. hands hurt like hell and now I cannot recall what I was going to say!)
Shit while I was typing this things went nuts my hands and arms hurt.
People seem to like wrangling me with their lack of knowledge and experience and do not stop to think and this sets of my emotions I now realise also aggravate my symptoms..
I seem to have to do something to get them back in check and that is altering my .. emotions .. which I know for one that I need to go from anger to being upset. I have to watch something that upsets me. Luckily I do have something I can use .. though I am not willing to admit what that is.
Have put this to someone .. about putting me up in a flat somewhere, where I can run a business for them. Never thought of this previously .. but .. wish I bloody well had!
If I could find somewhere where I could live in, like a caretaker, that would be cool. If this is somewhere, where I could reach nature spots with a camera either on foot or using my mountain bike then even better!
Way too oppressed here and without being registered I cannot do anything.
Had hoped that hitting social media like I have that something would come up .. someone would have an idea? Doing things online for others .. political or otherwise .. promoting things for them?
My .. devices are all playing up now too .. I do not know if this is their age .. but a lot of devices are playing up from wifi to phones and computers so do not know it is down to the magnetic field doing some high-jinks?
Cannot be certain just yet.
Could achieve so much if I could just shake off the anxiety .. get something to calm the tachycardia and arrhythmia down and had access to the right equipment.
Justice or death is what I am all about. Provoke and anger the establishment to do something .. end my turmoil or shoot me. That ha been the plan since I realised three years ago they were messing with what I had spent four years building up. Helping as many as I could along the way.