Ooh boy .. have things been bloody strange the last few days!

After a very long pause and a very high premium on things .. I am uber mobile once again and I am just re-familiarising myself with driving once again.

In case you missed it .. I purchased a Land Rover Discovery.

Now there is one vry main reason that I bought this car and that was for its off-road capabilities but there were a few other reasons. I had always wanted a Land Rover and think Range Rovers just too big and Freelanders too small. Also the latter are more problematic. In fact with Land Rovers it works out a little weird as the smaller they get the more unreliable they get. At least that is how it used to be.

I used to work for them, or rather Stratstone of Mayfair to be precise.

Also a very weird thing happened the other day .. I was heading for Broxbourne Woods to take some photos and shoot some video. My GPS took me to Bencroft Wood, I think it was called, and I thought I could walk to Broxbourne Woods from there but no.

On returning to the car I heard someone shout “What are you here for?!” and as I turned to explain what it is that I do a familiar face was smiling at me. Someone who is an ‘old mate’ I first knew when he was about 14 or 15 who is now a father of several children and has been a Policeman for 20 years or more.

What were the chances?!

We chatted about wildlife, history too as we were on the site of an old Roman road and of cours Land Rovers. He said that he used to have a Freelander years ago and I said I remembered. He reminded me of the issues with it but he then stated that many of the issues were with the petrol versions and the diesels were OK. My time at Stratstones was too long ago for me to remember any ratio of problems. But I did remember that two that had been continuously returned to us was a petrol driven Freelander and Discovery.

Since I bought the vehicle I have been struck down with a number of things, though this has not stopped me covering well over 100 or 150 miles in less than a week and having no less than 7 nature trips in that time. In fact I had around four in the very same day and only ever managed two in a single day before now. And if I ever did visit two places in the same day they were always the same two and the two closest to me, bar one very local spot.

Only I am still using older and less suitable equipment when I go out.

Now last weekend I had planned on acquiring more of my long shopping list but for two reasons I ended up .. well basically ‘bottling it’.

Yeah I seem to have two issues since our little .. event has now almost come to an end, well the first part at any rate. First off I was worried about driving and despite the mileage and places I have visited I have taken things very, very gently and plan to for at least 6 weeks. I normally always do this anyway with a new car I have not driven before. But it has been a very long time so I am spending a lot more time easing back into things.

The other one is kinda two fold .. with the first being struck with buyers remorse and the other suddenly panicking about the amount of money I am spending. Weird. Very weird.

But it is stupid .. I do not know why I am feeling like this and I have no choice but to get the things I intend to. It has all been in the planning for months and I need to change things. I need to move up several gears in several ways.

My life could not continue they way that it has been but now I am in the process of doing that .. I suddenly get struck with these silly and annoying psychological issues?! I have realised where it stems from and in all honesty .. a public service is to blame. Though their could be an argument for two public services?

Yeah .. I am .. panicking. Just a little.

The funny thing is it is largely because I am around £10,000 short of doing everything I absolutely want to and feeling safe about it.

It is because I want to use what I now have to cut the restraints from the exact same public service but I am panicking in case I ever have to approach them again. Would not be for at least a year so I do not know why I am panicking about that. Also .. well there are currently four avenues whereby things for me could finally work out. I could finally become self-supporting and there is nothing I would like more.

One of these avenues has been in the pipeline for a couple years but I wanted to only put it in place once I had worked my arse off for five years without receiving any money for what I did at all. I just wanted to be able to say that at a later date, likely in my own defence against big organisations?


The next set of tools I will acquire is only the second set in a set of three purchases. This may include some other little odd ones in-between.

I have not even looked at things like televisions or blu-ray players. In fact I only had two things on my entire wish list that was purely for pleasure. Though I say that but what this is I already have and I used to use it to .. alleviate certain .. things.

I am not so sure that this alleviation is any longer necessary? Still it would make for a cool coupl of un-boxing videos that would attract attention from that .. field.

Sadly and because of all the delays .. the acquiring of personal transport has come a little .. late. I have a real draw to visit sites in the UK and overseas for nature. Both flora and fauna. I am also something of an expert in several fields that scan the globe.

So filming and photographing only locally has been somewhat .. frustrating and one year a few years back I missed a couple of Bearded Tits, or Bearded Reedlings. I was within a few feet of them but they suddenly decided to stay out of site, despite the fact I was in a bird hide. Lol.

Just like the three Wheatears I see of a couple of years these guys only ever stop of to feed in my local haunts before continuing on to Suffolk, Norfolk or even Yorkshire or further. It is worse than trying to photo someone but only when they are at a bus stop. You have to get to the bus stop just when they happen to be there. When this might only be twice a year? Well as you can see it is difficult at best. Lol.

I have also been working with tools that I could acquire the last few years. They are far from adequate but they are better than nothing. For instance one item was £500 new, might have been £550? The item I am looking to replace it with is £3,000! The well known top of the line models of these tools range from £4,500 to £6,000. Yeah so I am not even going over the top here! But these things require other .. things. In fact they do not even work at all without these other .. things. In fact there are over a dozen to choose from and two that I want the most are dearer than the tool itself so you can see? Bloody expensive!

In fact it is funny as I was into this many years ago and .. I really do not recall things being this expensive? In fact I am sure that top of the line with one manufacturer was around £1,500 to £2,000 around 1994? Today it is £6,000?! These necessary attachments used to be around £1,000 for the top of the line stuff. Maybe a little more? But my memory is bad due to the short term loss I get from Fibromyalgia. The one attachment to this tool I want more than anything else is £11,000! The other one is £6,000 .. ish! I did discover that a famous shop in New York in America seems to sell versions of a different manufacturer and you can buy BOTH versions for several thousand less than the most expensive one above?! Madness! It gets worse as for some reason no one seems to stock them or even have them on special order in the UK?

Hmm .. starting to think I made a mistake and these attachments are for another brand entirely? Or a different version of the exact same brand?

Ah well .. not like I am jumping on an aircraft to go and get them any time soon? If only?!

There will be two collections of tools that are kind of grouped together and in fact one will have actually two versions of the same thing and I am thinking about doing this too with the other one?

It is like I said to someone the other day .. if your going to be more professional you simply have no choice and this is especially true when you cannot seem to buy one item that does everything you want it to. Oh .. this is not just me, let me tell you. When I come to doing the un-boxing videos to show what I purchased it will become clear. Maybe even blatantly obvious and will cause nodding heads to anyone that sees what items I have bought?

I also have to make several other big changes and I have been .. investigating it but am also somewhat nervous about this too?!

It is really, really annoying me.

I am also really, really confused by it.

One brother also wants to buy similar .. kit to that I want and presently he has shown interest in the two of us going .. up there. But he has difficulties getting time off and I may be imminently going away for awhile?

So what I will do is that I will see if I can get a date out of him by Thursday and if I cannot I will order the stuff for a next day delivery. Annoyingly this will be two groups of orders. No one ever stocks everything you want!

Oh and all that visiting of sites I have only ever been to with someone else or not been two before now? Yeah well during all that I managed to slam the little finger of my left hand in the door!

It hurt. Like hell. The fingernail has gone mostly black as has done the opposing side of my finger, which is showing some bruising and it has even swollen a little. Hoo-boy I had to refrain from pulling away in the car for about 20 minutes or so because of the distraction of the pain! I might have driven as much of a couple hundred miles but until I feel completely confident .. yeah .. no driving with any distractions whatsoever.

Typical then that I cannot figure out how to get the Discovery’s GPS bloody working and keeps wanting to direct me bloody home! So using Google Maps on my Android phone for now.

I also forgot my prescription pills a few times and right now my legs are aching really bad and have been all day, just so the painful little finger does not feel left out!

I had not originally factored in time re-familiarising myself with a car and a very big one at that and nor had I factored in any absolutely stupid psychological issues making me pause for thought. I still gave a six week period though when I signed a particular form.

At the time 6 weeks felt like it was too long. But right now it feels like it is not long enough?! Go figure!

Also if I go away for a week or two I will be in places I very rarely frequent that are a considerable distance. This means all new scenery as well as new species of animals I could not even get close to down here. Even some of them would likely need an couple hours driving for the closest ones to me.

The third round of purchases will likely only take place after another big change. This is inevitable and does not matter much because what I want is not for sale just yet! In fact three items I want are not for sale just yet. One of those is annoying as I will certainly need this while I am away. Wherever it is I end up going to begin with and even during the big change planned too! Damn it!

So in the last few days I have been to ..

  • Fishers Green twice

  • Cornmill Meadow

  • Broxbourne Woods

  • Panshanger Park which was disappointing in a way

  • South Essex Marshes

  • Bower Marsh at Pitsea in Essex

Do you know what I have realised that I like about this work?

No effing double yellow lines, parking restrictions or parking attendants to worry about!

Oh and I am also realising that there are a number of things I need to do and people I need to spak to or deal with and .. it feels like overload!

Now if I can just get over these darned psychological things?!


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