OK then. Before I do another post pointing towards inevitable and imminent things?

I have been alluding to a process I am .. embroiled in.

Starting a business.

Now I have been on this thing the call the New Enterprise Allowance which I was kind forced onto 6 months earlier than I really wanted to be on. Or start myself up as a viable and legitimate business.

So I attended a seminar to see what’s what.

I decided to move forward with it as there had been another tragic event that meant that I could realistically do this and possibly become self-supporting entirely in the space of about a year.

I had to also start things so that the two of them run parallel and ended around the same time.

Except this has not happened and neither of these things have either ended when they should have done nor played out as they should have done.

Trust me when I say that there is not a single person that has not reacted without shock or surprise in the way things have gone.

Now let us get started by stating that I enrolled into this NEA thing which was to have weekly meetings which went on over 8 weeks. Some readers may have even done this themselves and are nodding their heads thinking ‘Yep, yep’?

During this time there were to be additional .. so-called workshops where you went over various things, some of these things being spreadsheets you had to complete. I think there are two? Might be three but I think it is two.

Right so eight meetings over eight weeks and at least TWO workshops.

Yeah .. first off they doubted my business plan and was going to reject it .. until I pulled out print-outs of everything I have done and the guy’s eyes went wide. He then said “Mr Haswell, I can tell you now I do not even need to speak to my company,  you’re going to be approved!”

Except ..

After 3 weeks they did not ask to see me any more and instead I got an email from them stating that my business plan had been approved. I had been approved for a second time which I was not aware of.

It was only I was not asked for three weeks I realised they had no intention of meeting me any longer.

Except I still had a lot of questions that due to my memory problems I kept forgetting about but over five weeks I remembered in pieces and sent off a total of three emails. Except over the last five weeks I have had not one reply from them.

Neither was I asked to another workshop, though we were told there would be more than one!

I then got pressure put upon me by the Job Centre as they just wanted me to sign off and go self-employed .. but I was like thinking ‘Fuck this! You cannot even do anything at all correctly and take forever to do anything and you, a public service, are moaning at me for taking too long when that is down to other people and another public service? The irony and bloody cheek of it!’

I am afraid it gets .. well, weirder and .. better!

You have this option of a loan. They try to convince you not to take a loan to start a business, which had at least one of the other four in the seminar pull out before even her first meeting. It meant nothing to me but had I not had this other event happen in my life .. yeah, hearing them trying to convince you of starting a business and going self-employed without borrowing money when your on benefits and have no money .. I would have walked out at the point he actually said that. Yeah I would have actually got up, stated I was leaving and because that h had said that and walked out.

So .. there is this loan. You have a business plan, your supposed to get help .. but I did not get very much of that, and you have two business approval stages.

Remember this s over 8 to 13 weeks and i did it in 3 weeks.

So I make the loan application of £25,000 and I tell everyone it will either be approved or they will decline it and give me another figure they are happy to hand over.

Yeeeeah .. no.

Basically I got an email stating ‘Your application has been declined, best of luck here are some other routes you can go’.

This is the organisation I made the loan with .. Newable ..

Here is one they suggested, again government backed, and I have approached .. Start Up Loans Company ..

Their single reason? Affordability!

So they are supposed to be helping me start a business so where is the affordable amount?

Do I take it that you basically declined and said ‘Bye, bye’ that there does not exist an amount you would approve of?

So what was all that bullshit with the Job Centre and the NEA for week after week and the two business approvals?

So how is it that I have a SEO company, Search Engine Optimisation, based not far from where I live that has actually seen and read many of my blogs, not even seen the YouTube channel yet, and is excited about the potential? They have rang me twice now and are due to call me again around the middle of the month. They have helped someone else with a similar blog to my most popular one and done some great things hand have many millions of people now!

What also excites them is that I have 12, yeah count them .. twelve, blogs to boot!

So .. what the actual fuck, Newable and NEA?!

I could have ignored the NEA altogether and just kept telling the Job Centre to feck off. But I thought well let us go with this as I am starting up a business anyway and it could be a huge help? At the very worst .. if it turns out that what everyone is telling me is true and its a big fucking scam and trap for people so that they can make the government look good? Well I would have yet another expose for my blog. Blogs.

So I have emailed the Start Up Loans company and I have explained the situation to them and, as they are government based (do not know about Newable), they might give me some credible answers.

But they are government based so it is more likely I will get more bullshit?

Right now it is not looking good for the DWP, Job Centres, Newable or NEA.

Also the ob Centre applied no pressure and when I stated that I could not get a hold of the NEA advisor, only saw him 3 of the 8 times and he has not answered 3 emails in over 5 weeks I got this “Oh, they are having technical difficulties and we have not been able to get a hold of them for several weeks”?!

After stating that they cannot get a hold of them, which means by phone or email obviously, she then asks me if I have tried to ring them?!

All I can say at this point is oops!

Of course they could have fallen for my trap which is forcing them to try to avoid a trap and looking obvious?

Double oops!


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