I mentioned in a previous post that I had, had a rough evening, night and very early morning.

I mentioned that, or at least I think I did, had an ache pain somewhere between my Gluteus Maximus and my hip.

Well this turned out to be confined to my left side, odd as when I have had this in the past it has been both, and before very long it spread around to my thighs and was driving me to distraction.

I was almost out of tobacco and in the condition I am in that is not good and would only inflame my anxiety even more. So I had to go out but really did not have the energy to do it. Intended to go by bike but it was raining fairly heavily which was weird as it was not supposed to rain at all.

I was prevented from deciding whether to go out or not by a phone-call which turned out to be someone from a seemingly nice organisation and a very nice guy from Maytree.

I ended up speaking with them on the phone for over an hour.

They have a house set up where people who are … quite down, let us say, can go and stay but it is a bit of a trot for me, unless I went late.

I am reluctant though because I have animals here, orchids and … well digestive problems that decide to play up at the worst times. Though I have identified one culprit and have had no issues of late I do not take any chances, lol.

They were shocked to hear my story and they only got half of it, if that. A shame that, that so-called judge did not bother to take the time to ask and hear. She would have disbelieved a lot I am sure but as always I can always prove what I say … well likely 90% of the time.

So I ended up going out in search of Bayside smoking wood shavings you can only get from Asda and it was still raining so I went by bus. Except my left leg was in pain and turned out to be as wobbly as feck when I tried to walk on it.

However as I have learned, and something else that … judge never got to find out, is that physical pain is … well preferable to mental pain and anguish.

But is she had been a Doctor or psychiatrist she would have known this, instead of just thinking she had another excuse to penalise me, or mark me down. Trust me I mentioned my anxiety but that was all I got to do, she just dismissed it.

I wondered while I was out whether or not my Freedom Pass would simply stop working or I would get a letter notifying me of a date when it would cease?

She was no poker player, but then neither am I, and made it qquite clear she was interested in everything I received.

So it would just be fecking typical that they take away my free transport for the second time and then expect me to ump through hoops, go to Jobcentre interviews where they will lie to you about their jobs, tell you to lie when applying for a job and expect you to do a full time job!

Oooh … that reminds me! While I was out I was thinking about lying on that form and stating I was fit for work when it suddenly occurred to me that it did not stress in what capacity you are fit for work?! So if they complain and state that I signed to say I was fit for work I will say “Well yeah I am … part time work!” that I would actually probably enjoy in the right job.

I so much love to work with people that want to work with you. But they never have to my knowledge and from experience in my distant and not so distant past.

I approached the JobCentre several years back, when I was receiving DLA at the time, and stated that there was a shop nearby I was offered to take over and what would be available to me in the way of help.. Bearing in mind I was a fully fledged disabled person by their own admission. There was nothing.

Oh yeah … I do not know if I explained what happened when I was in receipt of DLA years ago and what they did when they cancelled it?

I was told to apply by my Psychiatrist because way back then I was having these awful breakdowns and to my surprise I got it and never thought I would. Thought it was only for wheelchair bound people. So when they stopped it not only did I have the same thing still ongoing but I was having bad pains in my feet and knees too. So you would think that being awarded it for one thing that now having three things was a slam dunk? But no.

Not only did I lose the appeal but HM Court & Tribunal Service ordered I pay back £750 and so not only did they automatically take away 60% of what they were previously giving me they also deducted £55 a fortnight for the £750!

Ever since that date there has been a huge chasm between what the Doctors and Specialists think you should get and what the DWP say you can get.

As that Doctor at North Middlesex Hospital proved very recently that chasm is still the size of North Americas Grand Canyon.

Of course everyone has seen the stories crop up on the Internet, front pages of tabloids with one being Scotland’s Daily Record that people from Atos and the DWP were reported to be asking NHS Doctors, Specialists and Nurses to lie about disabled patients … abilities.

It seems they do that with court judges now too.

But do not forget what George said? We are all in it together … except the poorest of us are taking the biggest payment cuts by a country mile when it comes to percentages.

But that is OK, as long as a load of public office wankers get their six figure salaries from the British taxpayers to lie and not help the vulnerable that is OK.

I read somewhere recently that there has been hate crimes against disabled people and I simply could not believe that?! Though I could in … certain instances, like people were cheating.

I also thought … what idiots. Your attacking people who have disabilities because they are getting a couple hundred quid a week and you do and say nothing about others that are getting several thousand pounds each week and they lie and cheat?!

Total morons as far as I am concerned, blind, stupid morons that need to wake up and smell what they are shovelling.

Nearly fell asleep on the bus on the return journey a couple of times. Weird this sudden irresistible urge to sleep is. I hope they have found out what is causing it?!

Maytree asked me to phone them back for a chat in a couple of days, after I have spoken with IAPT that is. Made me promise if I got like I did last night I would … phone … a certain other number.

They were also shocked and disgusted to hear some of the things that have gone on between myself, General Practitioners in the recent years and that appeal court hearing.


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