THE STARK REALITIES

​I have been dogged all night from the anxiety attack from yesterday evening.

It’s come to the point whereby it’s obvious that the 80mg of Propranolol is not going to cut it.

I’m panicking about whether or not I will be able to handle lying still in an MRI machine and just going that when the time comes I’ll be somewhat calmer. That being out the house will reduce the symptoms?

I’m also wondering whether or not I should take a second dose or at least take a dose with me?

Oh Jesus how I can’t get over how I feel like this yet again.

While I was looking up to see the dosages for Propranolol I came across a link about Fibromyalgia and suicides and it seems to be a thing? Only it also appears there has been a reluctance to do any research or even just a statistical analysis of this?!

I find this absolutely incredible and highly suspicious. Oh so now we are going to ignore things that take people’s lives and destroy entire families to save money?!

Here is an excerpt …

How many lives have to be taken?  How many families destroyed before the necessary attention is paid to this life-changing condition?

http://www.fmauk.org/latest-news-mainmenu-2/press-releases-mainmenu-37/935-elevated-suicide-risk-in-people-with-fibromyalgia

This is on the Fibromyalgia Association UK website of which I attended a single support group with and then kept forgetting to attend them for a year afterwards.

Yeah among many other things the short term memory issues, known as Fibrofog, really are a bitch.

However bad these memory blanks are in afraid they are a few steps down from the anxiety attacks. As well as the heel and foot pains, if your affected in your feet that is.

Oh crap. Every now and then all I think is ‘ohhh crap!’ Why the hell does the human body do this to itself?! It literally makes no bloody sense. It’s a self punishment that can’t be controlled and of which there is no ‘off’ switch for.

I was a little surprised to find that FMA UK page mentioning Fibromyalgia sufferers and suicides but I shouldn’t be surprised at all really. Oh crap. 

Just felt like this weird wave like feeling of anxiety wash through my head.

Oh and now I’m wondering that if there is something to be found in the MRI of my head, say a tumour for instance, whether this could be combining with the Fibromyalgia anxiety to magnify things?

That might explain how the anxiety was so strong that I lost the feeling to my legs that time?

Oh crap. I hope the loss of feeling to my legs does not happen on any of the days I need to go to hospital. Like bloody today!!

I’m going to either have to see if their is an Urgent Care Centre at the hospital still and go there, if I feel like this while there. Or in going to have to make an urgent appointment with my GP .. again.

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