Oh boy, I really do not know what is wrong with me lately.
I feel so bloody tired and to do anything takes a monumental effort from me.
I have had my Neurology appointment, awaiting a scan at the Royal Free Hospital.
Got a letter for an appointment yesterday morning for an appointment in 2017?! I first thought this was the colonoscopy appointment I was waiting for. Turned out to be another Neurology appointment and must be a follow up to the scan I have to have at Royal Free Hospital. I think I stated I was told I was not epileptic and I told the Doctor/Specialist that I knew this already? I had to have some blood tests yesterday too for the same thing I also planned to see a friend. Got the bike out flat back tyre. Pumped it up, now had to go to Halfords and get another slime tube. Went there. Got that slime tube and had to buy another air pump as the one I got would not work with Schraeder valves. Was going to get bus up to hospital and realised while I was out I had left my Freedom Pass at home?! Went home, took back wheel off and inner tube out and then realised I had the wrong inner tube, Presta valve. Used another inner tube I was sure had a leak still as I thought I had failed to repair it. Now back on bike and back to Halfords. Did not have the right inner tube so had to make one for me. Told me it would be cheaper but actually cost me £1.50 more. Back to bike and tyre still inflated? Huh, that is weird. Up to hospital … noticed half of hospital was missing. After blood tests back to see friend at his store, got something to drink but was too late and now feeling … well, fucked. So went on to other friend’s house to feed his animals and clean a couple out. Found his female tortoise was really ill, wondered about what to do. Text my friend, owner, in Crete about it. Watched Quatermass & The Pit while I was there. No answer from friend so went home.
Jesus! One bloody day!
Lately nothing good ever happens. It is also becoming the norm too! What with everything I have seemingly happening to me these days are simply not on!
Got home felt dizzy and ill while sitting on sofa. Got down on the floor and laid there for a while going from my side to my back. Felt sleep as I normally do late afternoons but this was with feeling sick on top. Went upstairs to y bed and the next thing I knew it had gone from around 6 or 7pm to midnight!
Got up next day feeling fucked.
Decided to go to friend’s store but he was not chatty at all. So I decided to leave him in peace and I went to get some stain remover for clothes I have been forgetting to get for around 8 weeks, was shocked when I stopped and realised how long I had been forgetting it. Also some washing up liquid I had been forgetting for like a month.
Actually finally got them.
Drag, drag, drag or loads and loads of crap. This is all my days consist of lately. Two family members that had been ringing me fairly regularly have stopped, one on holiday and the other one God knows where.
I am feeling so tired all the time.
Got to contact Eon Energy and make a payment to them and give them an explanation as I keep forgetting to pay them. This is why I did not want to look after anyone’s house and pets while they was away. One week would cause me problems enough but we are talking about 5.5 weeks, and yes that is five and a half weeks.
Hmm I just coughed. Oddly I started to have this cough as of yesterday and the funny thing is a I rarely ever cough, do not often get coughs even when I have contracted a cold from somewhere. I then remembered yesterday that I was asked if I had a cough by the specialist/Doctor. The answer art the time was a ‘no’ but now I do have one.
I have had no answer to either of my two emails about my rent payments from Enfield Council.
Considering what the news of the possibility of being homeless did to me I do not appreciate their usual time wasting.
I already have a court hearing that will take place a half a mile from my house because the DWP refused to come to my house which is an awful waste of time and the taxpayers money and I will be bloody well stamping that down with gusto at the hearing I attend.
They did all that and for what? Because they would not get off their arses to get to someone who is disabled so now they have to come to the place they initially refused to come to anyway? To attend a hearing? Yeah that makes perfect fucking sense.
They will have the audacity to speak to me like I am an idiot and when they do I will rip them a new hole so big they would be able to drive a car through it. They wont dare do the same to their next intended victim.
You see when I get like I am, no energy, blacking out every five minutes, cannot get things done and keep forgetting other things I start to get angry. I have told enough people about this and no one seems to even take note, let alone give a shit.
Lie giving a shit when it comes to salaries of hundreds of thousands of pounds though, don’t they?
But you see there comes a time when things become … inevitable. I have had a couple of people now mention to me that they realise that the NHS and the government do not give a shit whether people are dying or not as long as they are saving money. I was also told it wont ever change? I say that is not entirely correct. It might seem like it wont change for a fair old while but it will.
Because as they rightly have realised people are dying and before long there will be numbers so great that not even the news media that seemed to have been bought off or silenced somehow cannot ignore any longer. Oh they will make some excuse of how they missed it or clearly state how it was kept hidden from view up until the point that they reported it but it will not be correct. When this does occur, and it will, there will be no stopping it.
Despite how horrific the Harold Shipman revelation was this will dwarf it in ways no one could have ever imagined.
I was in the hospital for my Neurology appointment and I got the time wrong, do not know if I mentioned that? I got there are 12.15pm and the appointment was not until 2pm, yup … more shit.
When I eventually re-emerged at the correct time I found myself in a different part of the hospital form earlier on, but one I had been to before twice so was familiar with. I sat there for twenty minutes and it was lie a ghost ridden deserted old hospital! There was not a single person around at all and I could have wandered in and out of different clinics without being spotted. Yet when I saw the specialist she remarked as if they were inundated. I wondered whether or not her patients were all deceased as there was no one outside. This was because a nurse came in with a file and the specialist or Doctor said “Another one?” Odd.
Other parts of the hospital seemed normal … well apart from the large areas that had been demolished and I wondered if they had sold off large sections of the hospital to property developers? From what I could see, or rather could not see, was the the old Accident & Emergency, Maternity building and Chase Building seemed to have gone, probably along with others? Their were two or three of those large cranes that tower upwards around 100 feet or more. There used to be a one way road that went right around the hospital grounds but this was bordered off by tall blue solid steel walls right where the carp park ended. Before you get to the old A&E.
I was also a bit surprised when I was told I had to go to Royal Free Hospital … again. I had to go there about three years for an Electromyography or Nerve Conduction Study.
Huh, I just realised as that was requested by Neurology at Chase Farm Hospital and I was then discharged without warning after being given the definite impression by Royal Free Hospital, and I have that recording of course, that I would be seen again and that the guy I was under, Dominick Mort, would find out what was wrong with me?! Lol!
Jesus … if I die I might be the very patient that brings down the NHS?! I kept telling them there was something wrong but just like they always do act like they not only know better but have x-ray vision. This was what I used to call it, the x-ray vision attitude. That was before I then realised I was being deliberately messed about and suspected I was being lied to. I had this for several years before I even started recording them all. I have also been recording them all for around … I cannot recall five to seven years. I did not just decide to record them out of the blue … I had to realise first I had in fact been lied to and then record them. After all it would be madness to approach anyone and just state that all NHS Doctors are lying to a vast majority of their patients. No I could not do that … I would have to not record them doing this one or twice over a few months. No, I would have to do this dozens of times over several years and that is what I did.
The only thing is I sent this off with other stuff to the tabloids and TV news groups and I got nothing, nada, zilch and a zero just to top it all off. There was only one reason I would get no responses from all of the news media. It had to be corrupt too.
Someone recently realised how much I had and how much I had done and for how long. He asked if I sent anything off to the media and I said, hell yeah! Well .. in a round about way, lol.
After this I realised there was only one other way I could fight this and get the message out there … I started to blog.
It has still taken an inordinate amount of time though!
Still … I am currently a damn site closer to the end than I am to the beginning! Truly a damn site closer as I have been working on this for about 8 years coming up. Maybe more?
Maybe I have slowly burnt out? Maybe that and with a quick succession of things going on around now and the weather seemingly working against me I am just become a burnt out shell?
What worries me in times like this is having the energy to carry on.
Hopefully that energy may return someday?
It even occurred to be while out today that I should try some multi-vitamin pills? Jesus I would try anything just about now and I even remembered what someone told me the effect a certain drug had on people and I was thinking, hell I could do with that right now?!
My legs have been aching like crazy too. It feels like I have run a marathon and am still in my first or second day of recuperating?
I had a call from my friend’s daughter and she reminded me how we still had twenty days of looking after the animals before my friend, her father, returns! Great, I really needed reminding of that! Lol.
I wondered is she and her boyfriend was feeling it too as somehow my friend managed to make sure someone was at the house every single day when only every other day was needed. Do not even get me started! Lol.
Maybe I will come out of this and hopefully soon? I hope it does not linger on for the next twenty days?! I am not sure what will be left of me.
I still have the council to sort out and hopefully they wont call me into that Royal Free Hospital appointment too soon? Oh yeah and I suppose the hearing could end up being arranged within the next couple weeks too?
Good God man! Does no one know the meaning of the term ‘time out!’?
Oh well, have to keep soldiering on I guess?
This is partly why I have slowed down in my posts .. all of this and I never thought it would affect my posting on my blogs.