The title is just a bit of a joke and a reminder for me at a later date.

I was speaking to someone on the phone about a reaction I had from someone else. I explained that my situation has now gone full circle and right back to the beginning.

Everything is bullshit.

I now have yet another topic I cannot talk about even when they are talking about this subject. As that is what took place today. Terrorism.

They have forgotten that there are recordings of conversation a certain organisation that sound like they sell bad furniture was very interested in. Enough to call me about.

Yes, all that is forgotten, or simply not listened to. I do not know which and I do not particularly care.

It does show what they think of my next wave of endeavours I am now over half way through, so I wont be talking about that.

I also mentioned about not being in a good mood to treat myself to a music player, something I use every single day, and that this wont change unless I get positive feedback from either the journalists, literary agents or ‘my partner in crime’ who has severed their ties.

“Oh she WON’T be calling you!” was the remark I got in a stern manner.

So passing remarks are out too!

Good God, you have no idea how much I did not want this to happen and how much now I want this to be over … one way or another!

I have Christmas to deal with too!

I am working on something I will get to in a few days time … hopefully it might bear some fruit?

What made things even worse is just before the statement was made I came over very weird and very dizzy?! It was almost like I had just eaten something moments before that was poisonous!

I left, could not remember what I wanted to do other than trying to find a Barber’s Neck Brush that no one seems to bloody sell! I had ordered one through Amazon but once again I got an advert where the seller was on the other side of the bloody planet!! Hong Kong in this instance and it drives me wild when they do that …

Just want you to fucking buy something so they get there slice, the sleazy twats!!

When I looked into becoming an author I also heard some really bad things said about Amazon and there was even an uprising against them by authors. I signed up on that petition when I had heard of what they were like.

I passed Costa Coffee, were the suitcase had been blown up by the bomb squad, tried looking in the 99p Store, then TK Maxx and then saw Superdrug while I was leaving and went in there.

While I was in TK Maxx, the 99p Store and Superdrug I had to use my hiking stick many times to stop me going over.

I was bouncing around the edges of the aisles and felt like that metal ball in a pinball machine!

I have no idea what it is but coming up from crouching slowly nearly had me flying off to one side.

Oddly I also forgotten other things I was meant to do, one was make an appointment with my GP to speak about the letter I left there asking to be referred over my severe back pain, an Osteopath. I might have requested something else, I do not know as I cannot remember and I forgot to go to the GP Surgery to make the appointment!

God damn it!

I am sure there were other things I forgot to do as well?

As for the sudden onset of feeling drugged? I felt like I was just going to go over to my left and fall on the floor. I remember feeling like this on the tube train coming back from Wood Green to Southgate to get to Richer Sounds. Suddenly it felt like the train, and I, was falling and I grabbed the metal bar for dear life!

Very bizarre, not a very nice feeling, I assure you. And I can handle most things as I have had to for 13 to 20 years depending on the symptoms I have.

I had already taken a Metoclopramide Hydrochloride pill before leaving the house and they have worked pretty well since I started taking them. Though I have missed a few recently as I had been feeling OK.

So I am not sure if it was the lack of amount of Metoclopramide in my system, the drugs have worn off or something else was affecting me?

The Fibrofog I already have from my Fibromyalgia Syndrome goes into overdrive at times like this, I did not know where the hell I was going at one point.

The friend I was talking to on the phone got into a conversation and I just walked home and do not even remember the walk. Come to think of it I do not even know which route I took home?!

Damn! A good job the auto pilot works OK!

As for the other crap. The one I knew I would start to get mere days before it started? As I said to my friend it so annoys me when people act certain ways and think certain ways. Their being far more unfair than that they think is bugging them.

How can you get annoyed about passing remarks especially ones that we were talking about?

How can someone decide that years of things I have done must be all bollocks because one selfish person is being thoughtless? It beggars belief, it really does!

It is actually stupid, is what it is.

I sooo want it to top and I know I have got this for many months now.

I am going to have to come up with a plan … a plan to avoid it or put an end to it completely because it is fucking annoying and totally unfair. Do not assume that something you know fuck all about is now all bollocks … fucking ask!

I can offer so many recordings about so many things … including the fucking case I am not allowed to mention but now do not want to as I just want to forget about it. Due to the behaviour of others and all because of fucking egos!

I am going to have to avoid anyone with egos in the Spring and Summer of 2016 due to something else I have been working on they are not going to like. Envy and jealousy are such a big thing with people I know!

I bloody hate it, I do not get like that and it is something I hate in people.

Well at least I did not go near any strange looking men with pointy umbrellas!


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