God I am having a God awful Sunday morning!

I have had a few bad days in general, something I will post about in a few weeks time.

I wanted to get some clay pots because I have a Samurai Orchid, Neofenetia fulcata, which I thought was dead for the past year suddenly decide to send up a spike, the name of the stem with flowers on it.

I could not believe it and have several Orchids about to flower. Something I actually thought I would miss through being away but will now be here for. My little trip being postponed for at least a month but if the last info was correct, likely two months.

That was a pain in the arse when you have prepared for the fourth of fifth week in a row, I forget, and you have a crappy disability that affects everything. Trust me you could not possibly imagine everything being affected…you really do not want this.

Anyway I wanted to get out as it drives me nuts to stay indoors. So I decided I was going to buy a load of small clay pots from a garden centre situated near me and some sphagnum moss.

I retrieved all the pots I wanted, went to get some Orchid Leaf Food misters but neither of the two I bought there a few months back were there?! God, that is annoying.

I queued up with my pots and wondering if I should have bought one more of each but decided I could go back in the week. This garden centre really is not that far away from me at all.

Anyway I was out the door and up the road when I realised that I had forgotten the sphagnum moss, which was doubley annoying as I intended to bring a small bag out to grab a handful from the wild if I forgot and had forgotten to do that too!

So I decided to venture down to my friends Pet Store as he sometimes has some and a mutual friend was in there. I mentioned the solicitors rates, he got something wrong which was a bit of a surprise and sounded odd, thinking that my partner and crime would get no damages because the solicitor would take it all? Err…no.

Anyway he didn’t have any moss so I decided to get a train to Crews Hill and get some from the several Garden Centres left there that have not gone bust yet.

I ended up seeing some seedling Streptocarpus which is a epiphytic Primrose I only heard existed a few days before. I have t thing for epiphytic plants, well I do have many Orchids, and thought about getting them on the way back. Saw no moss. Next place, no moss. Next place “you sell any Sphagnum Moss?”, “No sorry we stopped doing that awhile back”

Eventually I was in a garden centre called Phoenix Rose and someone said they do not do it and I spotted some Orchid Ultra Plus which I have wanted to try for awhile now so grabbed it. Then I saw a rack of Air Plants, Bromeliads of the Tillandsia genus that you water by just lightly misting once or twice a week. I had disasters with the last ones and had been thinking lately about getting some so I grabbed four of them and the feed spray.

At the till it turned out that they did do Sphagnum Moss and one young lady was kind enough to grab it for me while the other one showed an interest in my Orchid blog…and this one.

I got back on the train, it is only one stop, and eventually got home. Potted up the Streptocarpus, potted up the Samurai Orchid and then used silicone sealant to attach the four Tillandsia to a branch of cork I have.

I was having difficulties with patience and focus and was a little ratty and then remembered I had nothing to eat and was out of tobacco, having recently started smoking again but only when I am home. But I was so bloody tired and in pain I did not want to leave the house even though quite hungry as I had not eaten and desperate for a cigarrette! So I thought I would lay on my bed for a bit around 6pm and when I did before I knew it I was asleep! When I awoke it was dark and I thought it was 3am but it wasn’t. It was half past midnight!

I then could not go back to sleep. So I am still ratty through lack of sleep, tired, cheesed off and the weather is ‘A1’ dreadful! Oh and it is Sunday! So Sainsburys closes at 4pm, I have no food … still and have no …tobacco … still and need milk too. I also WANT to go out but my body is telling me no but my brain is trying to tears itself out of my head and head on its own!

I do not know where it thinks it is going as there is nowhere to go!

Many people I knew are simply not around any more. Died of cancer, ran away, died of brain tumour but had stopped talking to me anyway. Family members I could talk to have all died too.

I get a lot of people telling me about my own dealings about what will happen and will not happen and it does not tally up with what I have been thinking and what I have been saying.

No one realises how really annoying that is. Especially when everyone does it to you about something they have had no involvement with, no experience of, no training in and no education in either.

Yet what I have stated repeatedly has been tallied up by whatever professionals I have been involved with or the subject matter.

Still the telling and lectures of what I can and cannot do are still forthcoming from the exact same sources.

I am wondering whether to stay away as I think that if it turns out as I predicted and I know that it will I will be chastised for them being wrong.

In situations like this you either get chastised behind your back or told you think you know it all because you guessed correctly about things that you are involved in, previously worked in or even have a Single Honours Degree in.

Yet would you believe that if I was to air my displeasure, despite my disability disrupting my sleep, causing fatigue, memory loss, pain in a dozen areas then automatically I am in the wrong if I was to moan?!

People are very, very strange and I sometimes wonder if I am of the same species as some people?! Lol!

I do not do any of these things to others and if I say something and I am wrong I will bring it up that the other person was right and I was wrong. But I guarantee there is no argument when I am talking about something that is nothing to do with me or outside my own comfort zone.

Yet others seem to get very upset and arsey if they get it wrong when its a whole other world away to their own knowledge base?

So I am stuck here on a Sunday morning and the weather is crap, had little sleep, fired up with nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to go and visit today.

Can someone sell me a gun? I want to go and shoot Lionel Ritchie! (over the song ‘Easy’)


Boy do I wish I was somewhere else!

I am hoping these are not signs as to issues I am going to get off people over the few million quid that could very well appear over the next 6 months?! Yoinks!

Yeah that reminds me…a solicitor that has been scared top mention amounts and decided on £750,000 because that’s the lowest it will be is what it is. It is not something different because you want it to be, it is what it is.

She has no idea how the Supreme Court will decide and sometimes there are things that are just more obvious to me than the professionals within a given area.

Because they have to think about how something like this will look to the public!

It will get attention, not ‘won’t or ‘maybe’ or something else negative. How can it not? Have you seen some of the meaningless crap they put in the newspapers? Sorry, no way they are not interested unless they are paid to avoid it.

Sometimes I simply scratch my head at the way people see things, lol.

Now as for today…exactly what do I do and I do have to go out anyway so no point my body telling me no! Hmm come to think of it is is tipping down on and off so what do I wear?

Damn it!

I really hate it on days like these.


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