ONLY ON THE CUSP OF A DREAM

I find the mind to be a bizarre and mysterious thing.

At the best of times.

My own has been even more mysteries to me that though I understand a lot more now still throws me a bone.

I have often pondered about how it is that mine does or achieved certain things. On discovering my condition of Fibromyalgia I answered much of my questions. The signals of pain are scrambled in which case they are not normal. Of they are not normal then they are different and there are two directions they can go … up … and down.

I also note strongly believe that it can affect more than just pain signals and am convinced my brain and thought processes are affected.

In a good way, well for everyone else. Well it does for me mostly I guess but it has not been without it’s drawbacks.

It could have been very different and I could have been a very amoral or evil person at heart.

I have had this a very long time, I started to suspect over a decade ago that I could have had this for a decade already. I now know this to be true.

Now I’m not going to go into the details here as I have done this already and I will do again in a few months time. No I just wanted to say that it’s obviously had an affect on my life for a long time and especially my decisions in life.

I have been alone for a very long time now. A very long time.

There are several things that have raced through my mind whenever I have thought about not being alone.

Finding someone nice, honest and caring like many likely do.

My conditions being a burden on someone else which I absolutely hate the idea of and always have.

Along with someone who is understanding.

Some time ago now I accepted the fact I would always be alone. Well consciously I did. Except that I started to have these little dreams. I think it was about a year ago it stated, not sure exactly. It was a bit strange for many reasons.

In the aftermath of everything I do I end up meeting someone who is, shall we say, famous. We are talking and she is familiar with everything I have done and strive to do. She asks me if I seriously did so these this in the conversation.

This is odd because despite what people may seem like everyone knows that a great majority of the time the truth is very different. Also it does not involve, of you have paid very close attention, the actress I see locally from time to time either, lol. As nice as she seems.

However. The funny thing is that this particular petite individual is seen as very nice by everyone and I have often thought that she would be extremely nice in person.

I cannot think of anyone else this also applies to. Not that it doesn’t, you understand, just did not stand out as much as it does with this particular petite siren. Who also appeared in one of my favourite and very long running TV shows as a guest star.

Now yesterday something … very odd happened.

I picked up a friend’s copy of the Daily Star tabloid. Within it was the most bizarre news article about this petite siren which stated that not only was she single but was lonely too. I was not even aware she was single, they were just weird dreams are all. I know little about her other than his she appears. I think she may be cost to my age too but just don’t know. It’s gets even more bizarre when another celebrity I actually met over twenty years ago said something about maybe asking her out. Bizarre.

I have wondered since then whether the human mind heard things and stores things subconsciously? Maybe and without my being aware my mind stored something away without me being consciously aware at some point? Then creeping up on me in dreams?

Maybe somehow my mind worked out that she is as nice, honest and genuine as she appears to be? Maybe and because of the highly unusual amount of time I have been alone it recognised something?

Or indeed, misinterpreted something?

As I keep telling people, I know a lot … I don’t know it all.

Well unless they are stupid people who refuse to listen and harp on and on and then I say I know it all as I know it will infuriated them! Lol!

So you can imagine how I was struck dumb when I read this article? I simply was dumbfounded at how bloody weird it was. In my mind as I was riveted to the spot in front of two friends when my mind snapped out of its frozen state of disbelief was ‘bloody hell, she is as lonely as I am?’

How very bizarre the human mind can be.

I must have heard something somewhere at some point? I don’t subscribe to this divinity belief that I used to many years back. Though admittedly there have been many things I can’t explain that’s happened to me I have written about within these posts.

Though until now I have not typed about petite Australian pop princesses before, lol!

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