Well I can now let you in on something. Sort of.

I have had no more major pain, thank the stars. Felt nauseous and feverish and sweaty yesterday evening and again tonight. I had a call last night which I missed. But then it rang again about thirty minutes later.

It turned out to be my GP and shock horror he is the first one to read a report I dropped into the surgery. The first one.. EVER!

It seems that he may have cane to same conclusion, or at least worried about it, as I did. He wanted me to go to hospital, Accident and Emergency, then and there! I said there was no chance of that as I was not feeling great for a start and then there was the possibility of an… accident on the way there. I laughed when he said phone for a taxi and I had to explain my money had not been paid into my account.

Hmm that says Wednesday night and is now Friday… Friday?! Oh bloody crap! I’ve lost a couple of days! OK so yes it’s Friday so the money is now three days late and I still do not know why. I told the GP I would go to A&E today. I did not make it. I intended to and I printed out the letter and copy of the paramedics form. I then realised that the bus stop was near PC World and I felt guilty because a friend of mine have me his daughters tablet pc to hand in and I had not heard from them. I had given them the wrong phone number so I thought I would have in the number and then catch a bus to hospital. When I got there the tablet was waiting for me so yes I have them the wrong phone number.

It was also late in the day and I did not wake up until around 1.30pm which was late even for me. I had only slept 2 hours out of 48 and had leaky been knocked sideways repeatedly for a few days too.

So it caught up with me. Then I realised I was nowhere near a shop with an Oyster Card machine, in the UK we have this bloody rip off fare system for public transport. Silly plastic card you have to put your money onto when the shops that top them up are few and far between on many occasions. Lose it and now they charge you £5.00 for one. Yes they say it’s refundable but trust me they just say is refundable and I’ve not known anyone to get the money back, I mean why wound you employ a system like that unless it’s a rip off by someone that thinks the public are brain dead half-wits. If you get on a bus with no credit on your card then you have to pay over DOUBLE!

Plus it s no rush hour! So I took the tablet pc to my friends house with the intention of catching a bus to hospital after. But after a mug of tea and a chat I started to feel nauseous again and felt I was getting hit and sweaty again.

Hopefully I will make it tomorrow?!

As well as my benefit bit arriving in my account curiously I had an unexpected text from my daughter just as I was leaving PC world asking me the one question she sound not needed to have done and at the worst time too. Can I give her some money!

Despite the fact that I have not been paid and not had proper disability support for 5 years now I gave her £10. Only I now cannot chase up the DWP because they don’t do weekends, though they expect everyone else to. I asked what had happened as she should have been paid three days ago. Hmm now I’m wondering if I no longer have trove with kidding days because I’m losing weeks?! I am sure that we were to be paid on alternate weeks? Ooh for feck sake, I’m having so much trouble keeping track of things. I will have to check my bank statements. Good job I do digital banking, though I’m not sure the banks do?! Lmao!

The reason my GP wanted me to go to hospital was because of two things. One is that my… vomit looked like coffee without any milk. This was also the concern of the lady on the NHS Direct line. It can be a sign of bleeding in the stomach you see. Oddly I did think I picked up on a faint taste of blood but right it was my imagination.

This is an even bigger concern with me in particular because of my oesophagitis, he told me. Odd as I did know that there is a cancer of the oesophagus and this was suspected several years ago, well 8 or 9 to be exact. But I did explain that my great grandfather died of stomach cancer too.

I know I’ll get moaned at but you can’t change all the rules in an attention to save money and expect members of the public, especially disabled ones, to suddenly be able to jump through hoops and perform miracles.

Hopefully I can get up the hospital early and get it over and done with quickly, though the Doc said they would keep me in I don’t want that! With the trouble I have caused them at the top and the Primary Care Trusts I probably won’t wake up in the morning?! LMAO!

I find it hilarious that the DWP called me a few weeks ago apologising to me and within weeks sticking the proverbial knife in yet again! In fact they are not happy with just doing these things to me but my daughter and grandchildren too.

Funny then is it not how they make themselves out to be so humanitarian when the news cameras are rolling?! It is two faced and I find this a great deal, have done for years and it has infuriated me for so very long.

I mean you hear all this drivel from members of the government in the news media about how caring they are and how they always hand over money hand over foot to help other countries, well poor ones that is. But when it comes to their own people… forget it!

Another kick in the gonads when some dragon lady demands nearly 2 billion quid from us to pay into Europe!

That was our problem all over and for bloody years! Making it we have more than we do and doing better than we are! Why do it? After all you said your not borrowing anymore, “borrow, borrow, borrow” was Cameron’ exact words in the House of Commons.

Make out your bigger and richer then you are and the only thing you will get is everyone, criminal elements, want to live here or others hold their hands out for free cash!

This makes the Tory newspapers look fucking thick when they have a front page story about a “sponger”, funny how that word had never become un politically correct?! Front page of a individual on benefits when £2 BILLION had just been demanded?

You would think that a profession that centres around the printed word would be familiar with one in particular? PERSPECTIVE!

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